When does home made food equate with tender love?

@Hatley (164485)
Garden Grove, California
March 29, 2012 8:01pm CST
Almost every day we watch as this fellow resident has his daughter and son and their little girl and teen girl and little boy a year older than the little girl come to bring him homemade food, all Mexican and his favorites. the daughter stirs it and rolls up tortillas for him , and his face is all smiles as he digs in. I imagine he is probably in his early seventies.To me there is a tenderness in the way his adult daughter arranges this hot home made food for him. I love the idea that the mom and dad bring the'whole family as they are seeing how to treat their grandpa and the kids do seem to love him too. He get shoulder rubs and kisses and jokes from the grandson.the boy and girl look like maybe just a year or two at most apart and they are almost the same height. this scene is repeated most evenings and it makes me feel warm inside watching them. to me this is the essence of real love. your take fellow mylotters.I get the feeling that to the daughter and son in law and family this elderly grandfather is really beloved and missed.It is odd that they did not take him into their own home but I am sure they had good reasons., He is wheel chair bound.
11 people like this
29 responses
@koopharper (6836)
• Canada
30 Mar 12
Obvious love and respect there. It makes you feel warm inside watching them. It makes us feel warm inside hearing about it. I hope my little family can stay that close. Thanks for sharing this with the rest of us.
3 people like this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar 12
hi koopharper yes I felt like this could and should be shared here as while some do not care for their elderly parents this couple loves and respects their dad and grandfather. I think the adults and teen in the family all work just tp pay the enormous rents we have here as one pay check will not cut it. so there was nobody at home to care for him. so here we have assisted living,it is not I repeat not a nursing home. it is instead a retirement center with caretakers for those who need some help.No doctors on staff here, no nurses just a nursing care coordinator who is not medically trained at all.We are close to several good hospitals and ERs so no problem if someone is ill. I wish more relatives would do like this to their loved ones here.
2 people like this
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
30 Mar 12
What a very loving family he had, he is so lucky to have them. For sure he is very happy seeing his family bound together and visit him all the time. He maybe deserve to treat him like that because on how you saw it he is nice to his family when he still young. How I wish when I get old my family will do the same way.
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar 12
hi lynboobsy yes one does you know, He must have been very kind and special to his family as now they are showing him how much he is loved and appreciated. they bring him hot homemade food Mexican style and it looks delicious then they chat and joke and just have fun with him while he eats it. I think they are all working as rents are very high here so there is nobody at home to care for him. He is wheelchair bound.,this is a retirement c enter with assisted livign for those people who need it it is not a nursing home. no medical staff no doctors nor nurses either.,but we have caretakers for those who need a little help.
1 person likes this
@lynboobsy11 (11346)
• Philippines
30 Mar 12
Thanks for the description of your home, your lucky to have homes like that. Do you have to pay for a certain amount for that home or your government provide it for you? Because here in my country we also have homes for that some are private and some are governments runs it. There are many senior lives there that are poor and no one visited them.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar 12
hi lynboobsy My social security plus my ssi check pay for the room and board each month. it takes a huge chunk out of nmy two checks but I came here when my son was laid off and the economy fell into the toilet., he could not get another job and we used up all our savings on trying to keep the rent paid., we got behind and the manager wasted no time evicting us. making us homeless so finally all we could find o do was the drastic step of putting me in here,no its no freebee as I worked til I was 80 so I paid into it and was due to get help not free the ssi check is for my physical disability.this place costs a bit more than 1000 dollars a month and its not the top quality place they go for 1500 dollars a month. I am not here because I could not live in an apt.; we had no home it was necessary.l would love to be back in an apt but my son while working almost full time is not making enough to rent a one bedroom apt let alone a two., rents are very expensive here in California.
• China
30 Mar 12
I think everybody should be moved by the scene where the whole families of the old man 's daughter and son every day come to see him and bring him home made food and three generations share the pleasures of family love and comfort.Good will be rewarded with good.The daughter and son's children will follow the lead of them and show filial respect to them.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar 12
hi chang yes they should but some just sc owl not seeing what I am seeing. a family who loves their dad and grandad and who all work so the only recourse they had was to bring him here to Gold Crest retirement center. they show so much real love, compassion and tenderness with their homemade hot steaming Mexican for a belove dad and granddad. the son in law shows just as muchlove too and the grandchildrne adore him so they come every night. I know they are not rich as their clothing is working peoples clothing but they are rich in one thing love of fam ily. it warms me to know a few families like that still exist. love hugs hatley
• China
31 Mar 12
It is true!They are rich in spirit.These days,so many people give the cold shoulder to old people.It is extremely commendable for them to do so.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
30 Mar 12
What a sweet story in comparison to so many of them that you hear about where the elderly are put in these places and rarely visited by family. To involve the entire family like that is just beautiful. I got all warm and fuzzy just reading this.I imagine you're right and they do have a good reason as to why they couldn't take him in to their own home.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar 12
hi sid I reas oned it out.its the rent., to rent a two or three bedroom apt it costs from 1300 to 1600 a month so it usually takes two or three paychecks so mom and dad and teendaughter, she looks 18, are all working so they have nobody to help granddad who is in a wheel chair thus he is here in our retirement center with assisted living.I love that they come every evening with hot home made Mexican food and stay to talk and joke and hug him.those parents are doing a great thing teaching their children to love and respect granddad.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
30 Mar 12
Yes they are and that is how family should be. When my mom was sick, she did not want to go into a nursing home and none of us had the set up to have her living with us. We all work too but luckily for her, we all work different shifts and were able to take turns being with her and making sure that someone was there 24/7. Even the grandkids took their shifts after school and helped out.
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
30 Mar 12
Aw, that is so sweet and yes, making homemade food, whether it is to be consumed at the home or delivered to the loved one, is a great way to show someone love. As for the reason the man doesn't go to his daughter's home could be a variety of reasons. I know I rarely invite anyone to my home because my husband uses every room to store his "garage" things, so it is embarrassing.
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar 12
hi carm oh I am sure of the r eason, they all work mom dad and teen daughter as she looks 18 and their paychecks assure the most exspensive rent of two and three bedroom apts takes more than one check 1300 to 1600 a month is hard on anyone but the wealthy to reach . so grandad had nobody at home to care for him hence he is here in ou r retirement center. they bring him home made Mexican daishes hot and they look so yummy. this showw how much this grandad'and dad means to his familyI love it b ut I ha ve no envy as they show love and compassion now and he just smiles and eats. lol. this is not a nursing home its a retiremeent center with assissted living
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (35517)
• United States
30 Mar 12
Well, it is heartwarming to hear stories such as this. I know there are often times as someone gets older their family tends to claim to be too busy to visit, and want to care for them. So when I hear stories like this, it does make my heart grow warm. As for them taking him into their own home, they might not have a place big enough, or have the money to get a wheel chair ramp, etc. or maybe he is in better care financially there, as they could make too much money for him to be able to get much medical, etc. if he was to live with them. Personally you will never really know the reasons, but at least they take the time to come and spend time with him there, and show him how much they love him, and that is all that probably really matters to him is the LOVE.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar 12
hi tina oh I figure that out, the rents on two and three bedroom apartments go from 12000 to 1600 a month thus I imagine the parents and the teen girl who looks maybe 18 all work thus there's nobody to help grandpa who is in a wheelchair. so he is here in our retirement center with assisted living, not a nursing home no doctors or nurses or medical bed,its just assisted living with caretakers.The family comes each evening with hot Mexican food home made, looks yummy and they talk and joke and hug him while he eats and grins. I love it that the whole family comes and shows they all love and respect this grandad and father.
@Sreekala (23718)
• India
30 Mar 12
Hello Hatley, When I read about the love and care of this person’s children and grandchild I too felt in my mind why they are not taking him with them. (I know where you are and why you are there). You too mentioned the same doubt in the end of the discussion, you may be right; they have their own good reasons. Anyway they are showing their love and care to him by making his favourite food and feeding him with great love. So that he won’t feel any despair in his mind. Now a days elderly people are living a pathetic life in many part of the world. I hope this is an exemption and every one should learn from them.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar 12
hi sreekala I have figured out that as I know rents here in California are horribly expensive.1200 to 1500 or more for two and three bedroom apts. so most all adults in any household work as it takes two or three paychecks to pay these kinds of rents.So it the parents and the girl who is probably 18 have to work then there was nobody to care for grandpa thus he is in our retirement center with assisted living it is not a nursing home, no doctors or nurses here . we do have caretakers who help those who need it. I feel warn and happy watching this family bring him a fresh hot cooked meal each evening and the love and fun they shower on him,its wonderful.I do not see any other family doing that in the whole large dinning area. they are blessed I think.
• Philippines
30 Mar 12
dear hatley, It seems to me that you are a witness to a wonderful thing happening near your neighbor, being such a sight to behold. I can just picture you with all smiles and a watchful eye over the scene going for evenings. It's a display of love, care, and food for an old grand old father, as if letting you witness in envy. One of these days, you may become a grand ma, and I just can't stop myself imagining your loved ones bringing food, with lots of love and kisses. That would be a wonderful scene to see in our evening years. A blessing indeed.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar 12
hi blessing2u yes it is a wonderful thing as they show such warmth and love while the daughter rolls up a tortilla and arranges the hot food she brought. The son in law jokes with him and the little boy snuggles against him,they all seem happy to be with him.some say they 'are envious of them but no I do not feel that way.I just enjoy seeing a family coming every night to brig him love and food and happiness. I cannot begrudge a fellow resident that. He must have been a great dad and grandad and they are just paying him back a bit.
• United States
30 Mar 12
Oh Aunt Hatley, that made me cry. That is pure out love. When I cook for my family I do it out of love also. I believe a lot of love goes into my food. I've not cooked much over this month at all... but when I do... I do it out of love.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar 12
hi pQ yes it made me almost teary and they do it all the time and they are so happy doing it,. the food looks great b ut then I am fond of mexican food. the love the whole f amily shows is just amazing. they are the o nly ones who do this and I am proud of that whole family for the love t hey show father ahd grandfather. I think the thing is here rents for 2 and 3 bedroom apts run from 12 00 to 1600 a month so it takes two or more payc hecks to just pay the rent then too there are utilities and food and gas for cars,. so they brou ght him here to this retirement center with assisted living'it is not a nursing home,no nurses,no doctors no hospital facilities it is an assisted living retirement center.
@GardenGerty (102585)
• United States
30 Mar 12
This is awesome. I wish all cultures were that way. I am sure, with the wheel chair, they may not have had an accessible residence. I think many people love others by cooking for them. I feel that way. If I care about someone I like to make food for them. Hubby likes to make food for me as well.
@dragon54u (31637)
• United States
30 Mar 12
That's a beautiful story and I'm so glad that man has family that loves him. You probably see plenty of people there who don't have visitors. When things were better and I used to be able to fly my sons here for visits I always made them the food they liked best. It reminded us all of better times and the love and companionship we shared at meals. One of my sons told me that it will be nice to have some decent cooking once I move back where they are. When my father was dying last month the last thing he actually ate was my pea soup. I knew he loved it and the end was near so I made up a batch just the way he liked it. Those few spoonfuls were the last thing he ever ate. The taste brought him pleasure and he was comforted knowing that I loved him enough to take the time and effort to make it. Food can express love very eloquently.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar 12
hi dragon that was beautiful that the last thing he did was eat his favorite pea soup knowing the love that went into making it for him. I think the daughter is a really intelligent woman who knew that she loved her dad and wished they could take care of him at home but because of the extremely high rents here it takes all the adults working to share that rent. so they were not home to care for him.This is not a nursing home, but a retirement c enter with assisted living for those like him in wheelchairs that need help as they have caretakers who will help with a lot of things. Some envy hime but I do not as envy just makes one ill. no I enjoy seeing his family and they all love him,talk to him, joke with and s pend time with him.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30206)
• Philippines
30 Mar 12
it is really heartwarming to know this and yes, i would agree that they probably had their reasons why he is in the nursing care and not with the family. probably they are not able to care for him 24/7 but they want to and they put him there so he could get the best of both worlds. the fact that they bring him home cooked meals and they visit him is enough for the grandpa to be reaffirmed that they love him and is not getting rid of him. :D
2 people like this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar 12
hi chiyosan this is not a nursing home really at all no medical staff no nurses or doctors. if we are ill we are sent via ambulance to the nearest Emergency clinic. It is a retirement center with assisted living, we have care takers they are not medically trained but are just helpers for those like him who are wheel chair bound. Yes that is how I look at it too that they felt badly that they had no way to care for him at home but they do their best to show they love him and care for him.also most families rent and the rents are so high here all in the family who can work do so and help pay the rent.one paycheck will not do it. rents for 2 bedroom apts start at 1300 and go up to 1600 and nmore. shame but these apt com plex owners are getting away with it. wages and salaries are not keeping up with the rent so I bet the teen daughter and her parents all work every week day so they could not care for him at home.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119871)
• Boise, Idaho
30 Mar 12
THis is how I think family life should be. A generational family is good for everyone involved. It used to common for the grandparents to be in the home. Now children can hardly seem to stand their own parents much less their grandparents. I think kids would learn alot from being in a family setting like you describe.
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Mar 12
hi celtic I do not fault this sweet family for not having the dad and granddad in their home as I know the daughter and son in law work and I think the 18 yr old daughter does too as the rents here are obscene ant it takes a least two paychecks to pay the rent and utilities and food and gas for their autos;so being there would be nobody to care for the granddad in his wheelchair they have brought him here to gold crest retirement center with assisted living,its not a nursing home at all,no nurses or doctors or bed fast people, this is just a retirement center with caregivers to help any who need it here.Its so lovely to see this whole family bring his favorite home made dishes then chatting with him and laughing and joking,the whole family partakes and he looks very happy too. I really love it. I ought to write a book about some of th e things I see here. lol
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119871)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Apr 12
It is good to see families come together. I wish I had more family than I do. I miss them.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119871)
• Boise, Idaho
6 Apr 12
Same here. WHen my daughter and I were made homeless by my ex's abuse I wish we would have had family to go to then also. Seventh Day Adventists? Ugh! I think you are on my friend's list too. I'm an agnostic. hehe Those SDA's are weird folks.
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
1 Apr 12
There are a number of reasons that they don't have him at home. Not being able to make the place accessible is one of them. Perhaps the place being too small is another. I kid you not, there was one neighbor who had a family of 4 living in a one bedroom/bath apartment, I have NO idea how that works. Maybe the kids slept in the bedroom and the adults had the livingroom? There was a large walk in closet, maybe one of the kids slept in there? Maybe they all slept in the same room... I just don't know.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Apr 12
hi elicbxnI had it figured out that as here our rents are horribly high both adults in most families work to afford to live here so I think the teen 18 yr old daughter does too.so there wo uld be no way for anyone to look after granddad all day as he is in a wheelchair and does need some help so thus he is here in this assisted living facility instead.they really do love him and it shows all the time too.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60895)
• United States
5 Apr 12
I can hear that, such a shame, but at least they come every day (or nearly so) to see him.
@vandana7 (67683)
• India
30 Mar 12
I am becoming a nasty old woman Hatley. :) I wonder if that old man has some valuable properties..which could be written to somebody else, you know? :) I say so because they are not keeping him at home. I would.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (67683)
• India
30 Mar 12
I guess you are right.. I shouldnt be so cynical, right? :) How much do they spend on gas traveling up and down bringing that food?
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
3 Apr 12
I think that sometimes food is an extension of love. There is a lot of care that goes in to it. I bet that at home they had a routine and they are trying to keep it up even though the grandfather is away. I would say you are right about the reasons. It sounds like they would have him at home if they could.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Apr 12
Hi jenintn yes I am sure that that the parents bothwork and the 18 yr old daughter too so they wanted a place where he cou ld get the assistance he needs. they really do show so much love in the f ood they bring and the son in law is not above fixing it for the granddad and dad himself.the whole family seemed to have always had a lot of respect and love for him. I just love watching them. I am not envious at all I just love seeing a family being a real family for a change.
@GreenMoo (11842)
1 Apr 12
If he is wheelchair bound it could well be that their home would not be suitable. Or perhaps they all feel that there is not enough space, or that he would have more company where he is now. Either way, it sounds like they do miss him very much.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Apr 12
hi greenmoo I think its the r ent as we have really obscenely high rents here.a two bedroom apt can go for 1300 a month or more and 3 bedroom are even higher.so it takes two adult paychecks to payh to live here and I think the oldest daughter works too so there was probably no one to look after him as he is in a wheelchair and does need some assistance.,this is a assisted living facility here. they seem to miss him so much and really do love him too.
@ybong007 (6658)
• Philippines
31 Mar 12
mexicans and filipinos have the same trait owed largely to the spaniards when they colonized us and one of the good traits learned from them is the importance of the family above everything.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Apr 12
that is the great thing I admired so about this Mexican family they all wor k the adu lts I mean and so they had noone to look after Granddad so thats why he is here. they do love him so much and show it every time they come to bring him food.even the little boy and his sister do not really squabble but just play with each other.and they are affectionate with granddad too.
30 Mar 12
home cooking is just more loving.. i mean don't get me wrong, there is nothing better than going out for a meal with your loved on.. but there is something so romantic and loving about me and my fiancee, sitting down to a meal we have worked and cooked together :)
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar 12
hi chicksdigscars lost my entire comment a nice long one grrrrrrr. no way t o get it back tried refresh did not work grr. well copy paste. I remember how tired I was one afternoon coming home from wo k at the library to find hot steaming beef stew my favorite waiting for me. my hubby had fixed dinner knowing I had worked extra hours as he was home bound after cancer surgery. Now I remembered that watching the mom and dad with their kids talking and joking and laughing with their dad and granddad as he smiled and ate the home cooked Mexican favorite . this was so loving and the whole family there after mom and dad and the elder daughter had worked a full day but still came home fixed him his favorites and brought it to him. love that family kids and mom and dad.
@jdyrj777 (6556)
• United States
30 Mar 12
Oh that is sweet. My daughter and kids came over to my place tuesday. We bought broasted chicken and some chips and had a picinc on the patio. When i sat down. My grandaughter laughed and said, "Grandma i love the noise you make when you sit dwon.Why do you do that?" Then she immitated me. I had just gotten done with my cleaning job and was in a little pain. Lol!!! Love those kids.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar 12
hi jdyrj777 Thats great and oh I love broasted chicken.Grandkids evidently can be so sweet and so f unny too.I have a brace that squeaks when I walk and one of t he residents who left to be with his love in an apt of their own used to tell me he loved to hear my squeak as it reminded him of his grandmother who used to make the same squeaking noise with the brace on her leg. I love watching this family and the love they show with their homemade food. I know that they all work as rents are very v ery high here and two paychecks are needed to s t ay in an apt here so they wo uld have had nobody to care for Grandad at home. here in this retirement center we have care givers for assisted living. we are not a nursing home, no doctors and nurses and hospital beds,.just caregivers for those who need assistance. s