I can't do coffee but...

United States
July 24, 2012 1:04pm CST
I had gotten asked to coffee by one of the girls. However, I had suggested could we go to McDonalds w/ a playland as I don't like coffee and I usually have my lil guy with so that would keep him occupied. The person wasn't happy with that idea because I almost always have atleast him with me. Funny thing is she has a kid in the age group of mine but hers is in school. So what's so wrong about hanging out at McD's? It's cheaper and to me a better place to have conversation at than a StarBucks.
2 people like this
21 responses
@GardenGerty (79316)
• Marion, Kansas
24 Jul 12
It has better coffee as well for those who drink it. It sounds as if your friend wanted a "grown up" visit, though, and I can understand that. She should understand, though, that baby sitters are not that easy to find or to afford.
• United States
24 Jul 12
Yes but if he's in playland 95% if the time what's the big deal? And as I mentioned in a previous response of spending actually more than one time talking for a good hour or more in the middle of a store we bumped into each other at. It's too much hassel to get the kids to the IL's for a cup of coffee and chatting.
@AmbiePam (42010)
• United States
24 Jul 12
Maybe this person is a bit of a name brand snob? Can't be seen at McDonalds? If one gets poor enough they'll learn to love McDonalds. lol Not to say she's a bad person, it's just odd that they would be so opposed.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 12
I didn't see what the opposition was about either. I've seen plenty of parents who go there to study while their kids are in playland or get other small tasks done online ect. I live in a world where I'm just thankful to afford to splurge at McD's nontheless get picky about the company.
• United States
24 Jul 12
Most adults want to be out without the kids. if herchild isin school why would she want to be with another child. THat is what she may be thinking as well.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 12
Yes but if you want to hang out with someone it shouldn't matter if they have their kids with. I had a friend for a long time we went out and about with her kids all the time and that was before I had my own. It was no big deal.
@cher913 (25899)
• Canada
24 Jul 12
i think that Starbucks is all about status. my nephews go there every morning for whatever they drink which i think personally is crazy. think of all the money they are wasting? i agree with you!
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36609)
• United States
26 Jul 12
Well, I suppose there are some people that are like me that just don't like McDonalds (however I will visit occasionally as my niece's birthday parties are always at the McDonalds with a playland and my kids do enjoy McDonalds occasionally.) With that said, the person that asked you out to coffee is probably thinking about the place that would be more condusive to conversation. In my experience it does have a tendency to get quite loud at McDonalds while at Starbucks or a coffee shop, it tends to be quieter. If she cannot agree with you and your need for your little guy to be occupied, then I don't think this date would be something that would be able to be worked out.
@Thoroughrob (11771)
• United States
25 Jul 12
I think that she likes being more with adults, having adult conversation. It is a time of being without children and going to McD's is not doing that.
@Suggar (3612)
• Bulgaria
25 Jul 12
Hello friend, I don't want to insult you with the story I will share here. I have a friend from my home town who was very close to me time ago. We worked together for like an year and our friendship was very food, I can say that we could understand each other without even speaking to each other. To be able to tell the story in a shorter way I will just say that she got married and has a child now, around 2-3 years old, I am not sure, because we are not that close anymore. Right now I live in another city since probably 3 years. I am not visiting my hometown very often and when I go there I spend like 2-3 days, not longer. So I was trying to see all of my friends while I am there, but mostly my attention was focused on my family. I was calling my friend few times when I was visiting my hometown, invited her on a coffee or somewhere in a pizza restaurant and I was little disappointed to see her coming with her kid. It is all good, I don't mind it, but if I visit my hometown once in like 2-3 months, and I have an hour or two for each of my friends, do I want to see a friend with a kid who is messing around all the time and my friend running behind her kid trying to control it in every minute? Probably if the kid is little older and doesn't need mom's care all of the time, it would be good. But still I think she would leave it to her parents or someone if it happens so rare to see me. At one time she started being insult because I stopped calling her, when I am there. The reason about that was not her kid, I had health problems and all my visitations to mom was connected with visiting a doc and medical procedures. Well she stopped showing interest of seeing me, because I had no time for her. At her hand it was all good to come with the kid and run after it all of the time we had for a coffee cup or a pizza.
• United States
25 Jul 12
Where would it matter where you were meeting up? The point is is that your together and hanging out, as for your child if she can't handle that your child is going to be there than I don't think I would want to have coffee with her that often or at all really. Your child is your child and shouldn't need to be a sitter just so you can have coffee at Starbucks over McDonalds? I think that she just wants to go to Starbucks for a chance to be seen or something?
@jesssp (2743)
• Canada
24 Jul 12
Personally, I love McDonald's coffee! It does seem silly to me; if she really wanted to visit with you then it shouldn't matter where you go. And if going to McD's makes it more convenient then I don't see what the problem is.
• United States
24 Jul 12
Well, I guess there is better coffee at Starbucks. I've had both and I prefer Starbucks better. Maybe your friend was just wanting grown up time with you. Having a child in tow everywhere you go may be normal for you but it's not normal for everyone else. I loved my daughter more than my own life but I couldn't take her e erywhere with me. I had nursing school and I was only able to bring her with me once. I took my daughter to my best friend's house when I could, but it wasn't every time.
@jillhill (37358)
• United States
24 Jul 12
I think that would be a better alternative! I think having something to do for your little one makes more sense then sitting at a Starbucks!
• United States
24 Jul 12
When someone wants to go out for coffee with a friend, they don't want to go to a noisy fast food joint with the friend and her kid. A lot of people want adult-only time--a break from children and the places where they generally hang out. Kids are cute, and I eventually want a couple of my own. However, I know that I will want kids-free time, too. The same is true when it comes to girls-only time. When you want to go out with your friends, you don't want them to bring along their boyfriends or hubbies--or spend the time with their guys texting or calling them.
• United States
24 Jul 12
She might just be craving some adult time or just all of your attention. Maybe the two of you can schedule something kid free another time when you both have someone to watch your little ones?
@katsmeow1213 (25978)
• United States
24 Jul 12
My guess is she wants some 1 on 1 chatting and with a kid around you will get distracted. I used to set up play dates with friends, but found that we spent half the time interrupting our conversations because a kid fell or got hurt, or they were running up to tell us something or yelling "Mom, look at me". It's very hard to carry on an adult conversation with little ones around. Plus some kids are beyond rude and try to butt themselves into an adult conversation which I personally find offensive. Speaking of which.. you know that certain friend of mine I used to hang out with all the time but was stood up last 2 times we planned something so I stopped calling her? Well she texted me last week to see about setting up a playdate. We planned something for Friday night. The weather didn't look so good so I skipped it and went grocery shopping instead and didn't bother to call since she didn't have the courtesy to last time either. Well when I finally did call her later to see if she'd been there waiting she said she never bothered to go either.. but of course didn't call to let me know.. big surprise. In fact she wasn't even in the area at the time.. she was a good 20 minutes away from home. She told me to let her know the next time I'd be available so we could set something up then.. but I have not bothered to get back to her. She also invited us to the baby's birthday party on Saturday but we're not planning on going as her baby shower was beyond boring for us since she was the only one there we knew and she was too busy yapping with everyone else and didn't speak with us at all.
@nyssa102 (750)
• United States
24 Jul 12
I don't know, that's a tough one. It could be the atmosphere. Perhaps that person had something more serious to discuss, but could not let on at the time of the asking? Perhaps they are a person who needs your full attention. If the person asking you out needed your full attention, then it is possible that the did not like the idea of having to share you with your child. not only that, the entire environment of a mcdonalds is a little distracting, especiall one that has a play area. Thus, I do believe it would be because you would not be able to give them all the attention that then thought they deserved. Either that, or it was something pressing and serious that required a somewhat more quiet environment. Lastly, they must might not like hanging out in Fast Food places.
@winterose (39916)
• Canada
24 Jul 12
that is odd, but maybe she wanted to just have a ladies day out without any kids
@patgalca (13255)
• Orangeville, Ontario
24 Jul 12
I don't think there is anything wrong with meeting at McDonalds. They serve coffee too. It is more convenient for you because you have a child. I honestly don't care where I meet with someone in my town. If I don't want whatever they serve there if it be the food/drinks or financially, I just won't have anything but my own water. It's about socializing with good friends, not location or, God forbid, image.
@peavey (14932)
• United States
24 Jul 12
There's nothing wrong with having your child with you. When my kids were young they went nearly everywhere I did. McD's is a great place for kids, but maybe she needed some kind of conversation that would seem out of place in a place like that? Maybe you should ask her why she wanted to go out to "coffee" since you don't drink coffee? Maybe I'm in a bad mood today! But it seems to me that mature people aren't always looking for "me time." (Without the kids.)
@arpazia (191)
• United States
24 Jul 12
I would not waste my time with this person. I dont think theres anything wrong with it. It is what it is,personally I would find a new friend.
• United States
24 Jul 12
I have found that often times people will have a set idea of how things are going to go and then when someone says "I don't drink coffee, what about doing this instead?" they don't want to go along. Maybe she was hoping for some one on one adult time with no kids along. Personally, I don't like McD's, and if I wanted some time without kids, I'd definitely avoid that place like the plague. I don't see how Starbucks is much better though. Is there a park where you could meet and bring your own drinks? Or somewhere very local that is unique to your home town? I'd think that would be a better afternoon than some chain place.