Is He My Roommate Or My Husband? Hmmm.

Yes. Quite a time ago, I lived with my fiance for 4 years. While we had some problems, I felt that they were things that could be worked out between us. When It was obvious that things were not going to work out, I told him that I felt it best that I move on. He really didn't argue with me. I began sleeping on the couch and packing my things and actively looking for a place to live.I think a part of me thought that he would talk to me, try to stop me. He didn't. I had 3 children and was still helping out at the house so it took me nearly a year to come up with the money to move. At first it was ok even if was a bit hurtful. We were civil enough. After a time, it got very ugly and more than a little hurtful. We had a child between us and the anger made it that much more difficult to work towards being "friendly & civil" for her sake. We did manage but I would not reccomend staying in this situation for too long. It was pretty messed up for sure. There were times when we actually got along so well that I got my hopes up and then the next day he'd be giving me the silent treatment again. If you really feel it is over, then I would say to move on as soon as you can.

Things can be made better. Try to have open talk. take help of counsellers. better go for small trip and can get closer. try to solve what is the gap.

Hi mira,

I think you both need to sit down and discuss each others feelings about it and decide where you go from there. Talking is the only way to move on. Sometimes it feels like an impossible situation but it's only because you are used to being married and no matter how miserable you might feel, it's still more comfortable than having to plan a whole new life. You just need somewhere to start. Once you figure out the first step, then you take it one step at a time from then on. It feels overwhelming but you can do it. Good luck and God Bless.
leenie

Hi there freebies
I am so sorry you are going through that.
Oh yes, been there done that for sure..my xspouse and I literally could not stand eachother, or even to be in the same room with one another..one thing being roommates, another being loathing all the time lol...we are here for you anytime..myLot friends will get you through this difficult time. Hugs xoxoxo

I have been in your situation too. But mine is a bit more complicated. The event just happen this year. I have discovered that my husband has been having an affair with another woman. I read their text messages and I am badly hurt because whenever I question him and I got angry he would hit me. I have a lot of bruises not just once but many times. I moved out for a week and my husband talked to me that he wanted me and my son back to our house. I was hopeful that things will be better. But even in our first day back home he wanted to go out. I asked him to respect me. He said he will do something on the internet. I was hoping and praying, but he keep on going at night, keep his cellphone away from me and he is texting either inside the cr or he would go out from our house. I still read messages from that woman. I text the woman but she won't answer my messages. My husband will just say he will work overtime almost every night . Many times he won't sleep in our house. I was crying every day, every night, even in my work because I can't help to think about what happened. And I don't want my family to be broken. I don't want my son to grow without a father and I know I still love him. I was like a crazy woman because every time my husband will go out I will follow him but my husband is so good that he will always caught me. I know the place where he always go. I have been doing that, crying, praying, hoping that everything will be okay but things were just the same as it is. After 6 months after the first time I moved out I finally decided to move into a different house. Atleast I got better a little. I still have the pains and crying but I was able to move on a little.

My husband still visits us and said we are still married. Yes, it's true because it is difficult to annul our marriage here in the Philippines. He said we will be a family still. But I know I am not hoping for that. I don't know what's his point why he said that. I don't know. But I know I am setting him free because I never see an effort for him to win us back. Why? After all the things he have done on me?

Everything will be better for both of us. Just hold on and keep praying for strength especially in your case. I think in you case it is really important to talk what should both of you do because you are not okay with that. If he won't discuss then I think it's up to you to decide.

well,he is a loser.i think you should get out.it is better than living a newborn life.all the best for your future.

I can remember the times that even feeling his pulse thru the bed made me want to just kill him, so, yes, I have been there! I gave up an awful lot of stuff, such as a brand new house, jet skis...all the money that I wanted to use...I practically just shopped for a living, but all of the money and play things in the world were not worth having to stay with him. I really had nowhere to go, but anything was better than living a life of lies! Good Luck to you, I know it is hard, it was one of the hardest things that I ever had to do! You need to think of YOU now & what makes YOU happy!

I'm sorry your situation is "messed up." I hope that you can be happy with how your relationship him with progress, even if that means a complete dissolution. I haven't dealt with a situation like this but I know you can have the inner strength to get through any situation you need to.

Is this the man you once loved? What went wrong? Have you ever tried to analyse where yo went wrong? Have yo ever tried to sit calmly and think why it has worked out so wrong? Havve you ever thought that instead of blaming him you have to blame yourself for the wrongs and the mistakes that you made? If he has faultered, have yo thought where he went wrong an dwhat he could hav e done to make ammends? Give a cool thoughts.Shed your ego and start to take up the fragments and work it out. I have been married for 27 years and have been through many trying times but one thing has been firm - we knew that we are made for each other and nothing can change that. It is we only who have to solve our problems. give a relationship time and it will work out.

Never stop communication with each other. Sit, discuss, talk, help each other and never give up.

Is he planning to stay or to leave? I think you should go to counseling and see if you can at least be civil to each other. These things do happen in marriage. Often times it is because someone has hurt the other person and does not realize it. I cannot tell you what to do, I am against divorce unless he cheats on you and then I do hope for reconciliation. You also have to ask can you survive on your own, and what about your child? I would say counseling is the best option. Sometimes it is better to love the other person then it is to fall in love with them. And sometimes people who fall in love never take it to the next step, that is love.