Are Inappropriate Toys For Children Funny?  

oh gosh what she said

WHAT you have to pee too? Ok.....POTTY PATROL!!!!!!! Coming through...make way!!!!!! Girls gone potty!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, that really would cause a commotion now, wouldn't it? I love that idea! The worst part is that it doesn't just stop at toys. They ask what size clothes she wears and what kinds of clothes she needs, and then they turn around and say, "Well, I know that you said she needed jeans in a size 12 months, but I decided to get her tops in size 3T." That might sound like I am exaggerating, but the sad truth is that it really happened.

I guess we will just add to that stereo-type of girls having to go to the bathroom together, because I was laughing so hard that now I have to pee, too!

For the too big clothes, "Thank you soo much. I have a suitcase in which I put back clothes that are too big for her! I'll put this in there straight away. Won't you be tickled to see her wear it in 2 yrs? I love having stuff on hand!"

Hit me again. I'm on a zinger roll for stupid inlaw day!!! heeee...;irish things sarcastic thoughts as she walks with her gal friends to the potty; Look y'all is that SEAN CONNERY!!! ;irish disappears;

That makes 3 of us needing to pee. I've held mine in ages while typing out a letter of complaint... anyway..
sell them on ebay, great idea! I might buy them if they're cheap enough

And that's the great thing, YOU didn't pay for them, so anything you get is gravy! heeeee Then you can tell them, "oh you know that kitchen you got her? We got $20 for it, isn't that great?" While you watch them gulp...knowing they paid WAY more for it! heeee...... see Irish can be vicious when it comes to her kid! ...just sayin..............

Unfortunately, my quick wit generally fails me during these times, and I am left wondering what people are thinking. Then, I get angry and decide that it is better to hold my tongue than start a feud, as it seems that is what these people are trying to do. My husband would rather avoid that side of the family altogether anyways. I was trying to keep the peace, but I think this year I am throwing in the towel and saying "Forget it, because this is too much work!"

Once, I did say that I hoped that by the time the little one was able to wear an outfit it would be the right time of year for it, because it would be a shame if she was never able to wear such a cute outfit. They responded by saying that the other babies in the family that were born a month before her and a month after her were already wearing thus-and-such size, so what was wrong with my child that she wasn't keeping up?

Ok, if they are THAT dopey...then..yea......why does family act so crazy anyway?

Oh, I can see their eyes popping out and their jaws dropping on the comment about the kitchen set, especially since I know they paid a pretty penny for it. A member of my family wanted to get that exact playhouse and kitchen set for her little girl (who is about four years older than mine, by the way, so the present was also age-inappropriate for my little one), because it was one of the things that the little girl really wanted. Unfortunately, she could not afford to buy it. You will never guess what Santa ended up bringing the little girl. She was SO happy!

I would not mind so much if my little one really wanted something like that, but she has shown no interest in those types of things thus far, even when they have been presented to her by his side of the family.

I have meetings from 9 - 10, 10 - 11, 11 - 11:30, 11:30 - 1, 1 - 2, 2 - 3 today. Not time to eat, much less pee. Crossing legs...

;hands Dawn mason jar;

Yea, PA...hee...wouldn't they just crap their pants. heeeee

shhhhh I sneaked away and nobody noticed...

;sneaks up behind Dawn and hollers, "POTTY PATROL!!" and runs;

I was wondering why your eyes had a yellowish tint today, Dawn.

It's her color, huh? Oh..wait, that's MY color...........

I really like the idea of selling the gifts she wont use or you feel are inappropriate for her on ebay and using that as a tool to start teaching her about money and how she can sell things she doesn't need and be able to use the money she receives for something she would enjoy more I know she is still kinda young but its always good to start teaching! And also in my opinion they should really be respecting your wishes when you tell them what kinds of things she is in need of or wanting when it is time for her to receive gifts. Maybe next time you can try flipping it on them when its time for a gift for them ask them what they need or want and try to figure out what they feel would be an inappropriate gift for the specific occasion and see how they react when you give them one. Then you can explain to them after they hopefully have gotten the same feelings you always get when they do it to you. Maybe they are just having a hard time realizing and accepting your feelings about the gift situation. If that does not work then I would say just keep on selling their gifts on ebay! Hopefully if you keep at it at some point they will get the message and start to respect your wishes about the gifts they get for your daughter.

Jen aka Kittykat7983

KittyKat, I have never sold anything on eBay, but it seems like I am going to have to start. I think that really is a good idea, because then my little one doesn't lose out on getting gifts. I am all for giving the gifts to charity, because it is a really good cause. Unfortunately, we don't have the money to replace the gifts that we give away, so it would be better for her if we could just get money and exchange them for something that will be more appropriate for her.

I think they understand our feelings about the gift situation, but I think they just don't care. Otherwise, why would they laugh and tell us that we are going to hate what they got her even before she opens the present? Once, one of his family members did buy her some puzzles and blocks. We really went out of our way to praise this person's gift and say how great it was. In fact, the little one even started playing with it right away. That was the first time she played with anything from that side of the family. Then, they turned right around and gave her a frilly pink ballet costume and fake jewelry and tiara, which was SO age-inappropriate, even if the rest had been fine! It just left us shaking our heads.

Yes, it really annoys me when I see a little girl and the only color in her wardrobe is pink. I am not sure why, but it doesn't usually work the same way for boys, as they seem to have a far wider color selection, like red, gray, green, black, etc. In fact, the only color that I don't usually see on little boys is pink.

Hmmm, perhaps I should get their little precious a tool set - or perhaps Spanish lessons. Oh yeah, by the way, they were horrified when we got the little one bi-lingual books and toys. My oldest is very into languages, and she is fluent in several. This has presented her with opportunities that she might otherwise not have had, and I think that it is wonderful. They feel, however, that English is the only language of any value, or perhaps they just have something against Spanish.

I would really have liked to see the shocked and horrified look over the blue dress, Alice. That sounds like to was a Kodak moment.

I feel the need to defend my dislike of pink, although I am sure that you understand without clarification. I do not like the color, but I am not against it being an accessory in my little one's wardrobe. In fact, there were a couple really cute pink outfits that looked adorable on her (that his family obviously bought for her), when she grew enough to fit into them. I just don't think it should be the predominant color in her wardrobe.

I am not trying to push my color choices on her, either, and neither is my husband. She obviously has quite a few purple things, because I like purple. She has black things, too, because that is his favorite color. When she gets to pick the color, though, she likes blue. In fact, everything would be blue if she had her way, but we don't want to box her in to just one color, even if it is the one that she chooses. I would rather her to have a variety, especially because different colors are supposed to spark creativity.

I think it is wonderful how your sister handled the situation and made the little boy feel better. It seems that she is a lot smarter and more mature than the teenage cashier. I know guys that like unicorns, and I also know guys that like the color purple. I even know guys that like the color pink. I do not think that colors have any gender attached to them, which is why I get annoyed when people shove pink down girls throats and blue down boys throats. There is nothing wrong with either color, but why do people insist on forcing children into a stereo-type? That is what I dislike the most. I am not particularly fond of the color pink, but I do own things that are pink. There is nothing intrinsically evil about the color, but I just don't really care for it, especially since people want to force me into accepting it as the "appropriate color" for girls.

I have not been to Build-A-Bear in a long time, so I had no idea that they now have purple unicorns. I would love one of them! I think that little boy has great taste. I also wonder if he had chosen a purple horse or a brown unicorn if the cashier would have had the same reaction. It should not make a difference either way, though, in my opinion.

Thank you so much for your response, Putgull. I think you have hit the proverbial nail right on the head. They do not respect us, because they have more money than we do. They think that money entitles them to do and say whatever they want without any consequences.

I like the idea of returning the gifts, because then maybe they will finally get the idea that just because they buy the stuff for her does not mean that she is going to play with it. However, I think that donating the items to charity would be a better use of the presents. They are expensive gifts, and I am sure that there is a little girl out there somewhere that would just love the presents, even though her parents might not be able to afford them. That would at least be a lose-win situation, because it seems like my little one loses out no matter what. Actually, they are the ones losing out, not my little one, because they are denying themselves the opportunity to get to know a beautiful, sweet and imaginative little girl.

Ooops, I'm sorry. I just realized that earlier when I addressed you I mistyped your name. I am so sorry, Pitgull. My fingers sometimes slip and hit the wrong key, and I don't always notice it, although I do try to proofread my responses before I post them.

Those are good suggestions, Thea. I could stand the gaudy pink wrapping paper if it contained a suitable present, especially since she will just rip the wrapping paper to pieces anyway.

She is still too young to say what books she wants, but she does like a wide variety of books. Even when they get her books, however, they stick with the Barbie theme. Just recently, she got a book as a present, but it was a Barbie "adventure" book. First, the book was way too old for her, since she is still a toddler. Second, they said that there was also a "Cars" book they were looking at, but Barbie is for little girls and "Cars" are for little boys. "Cars" is an animated movie, and the book was based on the movie. That is like saying that she shouldn't read "Thomas the Train" books, because trains are for boys. Now, I might be wrong, but it seems like the cars book would have been more age-appropriate, since it is a movie made for little ones. The Barbie book included mindless, self-esteem bashing quizzes, like "Are you popular?" and "How romantic are you?". Those are not appropriate for an older girl let alone a two-year old.

Oh don't look at books that go with films, start her off on the classics and definitely bin the barbie book with no apology at all. I'd recommend Beatrice Potter, the Thomas ones, Postman Pat. I instilled a love of books into my son very early and taught him to read just past his third birthday. Ask the inlaws to get Dr Suess books,they can't object to those surely. I believe a child should not be discouraged from reading anything but the wrong sort of book will put them off, and the classics have survived because they are timeless reads and will enhance a childs vocabulary.

oh thea and Purplealbaster please dont forget Alice In wonderland and Behind The Looking Glass classics indeed
for Kids and Baum's Wizard of Oz series too.

Yes, she has Dr. Seuss books, as well as a ton of other different books. She is not quite ready for some of the classics, but I am slowly introducing them into our reading repertoire. We have condensed versions of some of the larger books that are more for her age. We have a bunch of factual books, too, that tell about different animals, dinosaurs, etc. that are for different age ranges, which are from when my oldest was younger. We also have books about colors, senses, shapes, etc. that we read together. She likes all of these, and we read for close to an hour at a time, which is wonderful.

I remember mine went through an obsession of books about trucks and cars which are both neurtal gender of course. Oh don't forget 'There was an old lady who swallowed a fly' and the 'owl and the pussycat'.

Oh, I had totally forgotten about the lady that swallowed the fly, but I will have to try to find that book now. We just read a Beatrix Potter book last night, and I thought of you. We read The Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies. We also read Winnie the Pooh and Dr. Seuss and Disney Babies (I love Disney Babies, because they are so cute!).

May I add also if you let a few things slide it won't be as much fun to tick you off. A little pink in either a girl or boy's life won't kill them and when it comes to toys like Barbie they can be made to do what ever you like such as camping hiking cooking fishing whatever. Change her clothes and use her as an example of what kind of person you want your kid to grow up to be. Once you deflate the in laws a bit it will go smoother.

Yeah, I wouldn't care so much if it was something that she liked, but even when they buy these things for her, she shows no interest in them. We have returned a couple of things, but that is difficult when you don't have a receipt and do not know what store it came from. Some of the clothes still had tags on them, though, so we did return some of those for ones that actually fit her.

I can relate to the T.V. issue, too. I think you handled the situation well, and obviously your father-in-law finally got your point. I am glad that he came to his senses. Unfortunately, I do not see this happening with my husband's family, though. We are at the point where we do not think that we are going to have any contact with them over the holidays, with the exception of his mom and dad. I come from a family that values family relationships, whether they are blood relations or just really good friends that you accept as family, which is why I have tried so hard to make this situation with his family better. Obviously they do not have the same values that I do, though, so I guess it is time to do what my husband has been saying for a while and cut all ties with them. It is sad, really, that he was ready to give up on his family way before I was. I guess that should have been the first clue that it was going to be a losing battle, but I guess I am an optimist.

We do not ban all pink in her wardrobe. In fact, I think that she should have a variety of colors, including but not limited to pink. We put a ban on Barbie for several reasons (one of which is that she is only two and Barbies are not age-appropriate), but we do allow Cabbage Patch dolls, although we prefer stuffed animals, especially since she loves animals.

Most of the restrictions we put on things are for her own good, especially since she is so young. I have seen his family put fingernail polish and toenail polish on their one year old. First, no one year old needs to be taught that they have to enhance their beauty by using these products. Second, and most important, little ones always put their fingers and toes in their mouths, and these products are dangerous for them to ingest. They have even already gone as far as buying her play make-up!

Well nail polish on someone that young is just stupid. If the age on the box is older then your child by all means get rid of it, or just hand it back to them and tell them to look at the box first before buying. Those Barbies lose their heads easily and a two year old would definitely put that in their mouths. Don't let them beat you down, she's your kid and it's what you want not them, just hold your own, calmly but firmly and if it means walking out do it.

Thanks OpinionatedLady. I totally agree that nailpolish and make-up on a child that young is completely ridiculous, but that is how they teach their girls to be. They have young children getting chemical procedures on their hair, too, like highlights and perms. It is not healthy for young children to be exposed to these chemicals not to mention what it is teaching them about themselves and physical appearance. My husband and I definitely do not want our children to be raised in the same environment. We want our children to have good values and not judge or be judged by outward appearances.

Wow I am all for self expression ( my kids have dyed their hair but only with kool aid) but brainwashing them is another story. Just use them as an example of how the world judges people.

Hatley, thank you for your response. It is not my parents that are doing this. It is my husband's family. We have tried talking to them, but they refuse to listen. It is not even his parents that are the major culprits, although we have had to speak with them a time or two. Mostly, it is the rest of his family that will not respect our decisions as parents. Then, they get all upset when we do not want to spend the holidays with them, and they even have the nerve to say that they do not have any idea why we would feel the way we do. Mind you that all of this comes after they laughingly tell us that we are going to hate what they bought the little one, but they got it anyway and we just have to deal with it.

I like different colors, too. In fact, having many different colors is supposed to stimulate creativity, which is a good thing.

I do think that we are trying to do the right thing for our child by allowing her to decide what she will like and dislike on her own without forcing her into a stereo-type. She is exposed to a lot of different things, and I think that is very important for any child. We would be doing the same if we had a boy, but I don't think we would be getting such hassles. That is really funny, too, because most of the other children are girls, so I would think that they could play dress-up with the other little ones and be neutral with ours.

I also think that you are right about them messing with us, but I don't think they are doing it in a fun and playful manner. I think their intention is to be mean, which is why I was trying not to let them see that it bothered us, although we have spoken to them plenty of times about the issue. At this point, I am not sure what else we could possibly say that might get through to them. In fact, we have decided to avoid the whole thing this year and not go to any family events that they will be attending. Perhaps that will get the message across better than our words have thus far.

Yes, I think that parents not only have the right but also the responsibility to make these kinds of decisions for their children, especially when the children are very young. As the children grow, I think that the children should have more input in the decisions, but parents should talk with the children about why some things are appropriate and why some things are not appropriate. I think that will help the children make the right kind of choices as they grow.

In the long run, if our little one chooses to like pink frilly things and play with dolls, then we will be fine with her choice, because she made it on her own. We do not want her to think that she has to like pink and play with dolls just because she is a girl, though. If she wants to like blue or orange or red and be a mechanic or a carpenter or a computer programmer, then those choices are fine with us, too. We just want her to have as many options as she can, which we feel is the best thing that we can do for her.

Also, she has already made some decisions on her own by the toys that she chooses to play with. She likes puzzles, books, cars, and interactive learning toys. She has Cabbage Patch dolls that his family has bought her, but she does not play with them, even though they are among her other toys in the toybox. That is her choice not ours, so buying her these types of things is not only disrespecting us as parents but it is also disrespecting her choices. I think that is the saddest part of all - that his family does not understand the last part.

Yes, it is difficult to force children to do what they do not want to do. Making them wear things that they do not want to wear is especially difficult, because after you fight to get it on them, they can just rip it off or ruin it.

We are not trying to force our little one to do anything, though. On the contrary, it is my husband's family that is trying to force her to like pink, frilly things and play with "girl toys". We think that gender neutral toys are best for her at this age, because they are about learning rather than stereo-typing. We want her to be exposed to as many different things as possible, and then she can make her own choices about what she does and does not like.

When I was little, my parents tried to get me to be more "girlie". I did not want to play with dolls or do that kind of stuff. Fortunately, my parents decided that it was better for me to be happy and learn different things than to fit into a stereo-type. That is the way that we intend to raise our children, also.

Fortunately, it is not really my in-laws that are the biggest culprits. They have gotten her a couple of things that are totally inappropriate, but for the most part they try to find things that we will approve of. It is the rest of my husband's family that is the problem. We have tried talking to them numerous times, but it does not do any good. They have the attitude that they can buy whatever they want for her, and we just have to deal with it. That is partly true, because it is their money and they can buy whatever they want with it. On the other hand, she is our child, and we do not just have to deal with it.

I agree that I think they are doing it just to be cruel. I have refrained from putting a large part of the story on here, because it is too painful for me to tell. Let me just say that they have outright stated their dislike of me, and they have been extremely cruel to me with their words. I think they might be doing this to drive a wedge between my husband and I. Unfortunately, they are using a young child as their weapon, which is really disgusting! The thing that they do not understand is that we are both in agreement on the way we want to raise our children, which is totally different than the way that he was raised. He is the biggest supporter of this, and he would be far more cruel in telling them if I hadn't been trying to keep some sort of peace all these years. I am at the point where I don't care any more, though, and he is free to say whatever he likes to them this year.