2/19/24 - Update on My Husband

@LindaOHio (155843)
United States
February 19, 2024 7:36am CST
My husband's 2nd cousin and I went to the rehab facility yesterday. The place was clean; but the beds were horrible. They were like a rundown Army cot. All of the staff in the dining room was lax. That's where we found my husband. He was fast asleep with his head hung down and a full plate of food in front of him. None of the staff seemed to care. He looks like he's aged 20 years. It took us about 10 minutes to wake him up. This scared me. He tried to pick up a cup of juice and was unable to. His cousin fed him. He drank the juice and ate about 6 bites of food. His cousin spoke to one of the nurses and said that he must be fed. When she took him back to his room, it was almost time for his rehab evaluation. It turns out that hubs has fallen several times...not just one. We left shortly after. Later that evening, his cousin brought me a spaghetti meal. His cousin washed a load of his clothes and will be taking everything to the rehab facility today. She's a gem. I broke down a couple of time at the rehab place yesterday. If you could see him, you would think that he's never coming home. If I would have gone out on the porch and retrieved that package that night, this would have never happened. Your continued prayers, thoughts and friendship are greatly appreciated. Photo Credit: Pixabay
32 people like this
32 responses
• Cloverdale, Indiana
19 Feb
Sugs I can only imagine what your going through right now. it's not your fault, it's hard to deal with what your going through my husband was at his wits end with me in rehab & the hosp. When I was in rehab I made sure they did their jobs & kept on top of things, when I went to the dinning room to eat I seen people there that weren't looked after or cared for & it just broke my heart in a million pieces, that's why I ate in my room.
6 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
He definitely belongs somewhere else where they get more care.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (85406)
• United States
19 Feb
Oh, Linda. Bless you both. I’ll keep praying.
5 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
Thank you. He needs to go somewhere where there's more care.
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (169808)
• United States
19 Feb
I am so sorry Linda.. I think I would ask to speak to the rehab director to voice your concerns..in an appropriate way of course. You can't make them care, but the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (169808)
• United States
19 Feb
@LindaOHio You may have to keep calling. I doubt they are going to be in any rush to get back to you unfortunately.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
20 Feb
@snowy22315 The admissions woman gave me a whole page full of contacts. I guess I will be using it.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
They are supposed to be calling me. I think he belongs at a place with more care.
3 people like this
@FourWalls (62056)
• United States
19 Feb
I’m so sorry. I’m weeping because I see my aunt and my great-grandfather in everything you say. You know you have my prayers.
4 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
Thank you so much for your prayers and friendship.
2 people like this
@FourWalls (62056)
• United States
19 Feb
@LindaOHio — I’m so heartbroken. I wish there was something I could do.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
20 Feb
@FourWalls I wish you could too. I'm going to call the woman who placed him there and see if she has any suggestions.
2 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (94970)
• Marion, Ohio
19 Feb
So sorry Linda. Hope things improve. It's no ones fault. The fall could have happened inside.
4 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (94970)
• Marion, Ohio
19 Feb
@LindaOHio You got him help. That's what matters
3 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
Thank you. I still blame myself.
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
19 Feb
I know it is hard to see him like that but please don't blame yourself for what happened. It was not your fault. I am sorry that the place he is staying arent giving him the care and attention that he needs and deserves. Sadly a lot of rehab facilities are like that. I am glad his cousin is there for both of you. I am praying for your hubby and for you. You are always in my thoughts. If you ever need a friend to talk to you can message me on here anytime.
3 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
Thank you so much, Laurel. I think he needs to be in a different type of facility. This is rehab.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
21 Feb
@Happy2BeMe I hope so too.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
20 Feb
@LindaOHio I hope they find the right one for him so he can get the care and attention that he needs to start getting stronger.
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (45472)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
19 Feb
Sad to read that but it's not your fault, so stop thinking that. He could have had the stroke just lying in bed. Since he's fallen out of bed more than once, perhaps he is continuing to have ministrokes.
3 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (45472)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
20 Feb
@LindaOHio Neither of which are good news.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
They tested him for strokes -- he didn't have one. This is either hospital delirium or dementia.
2 people like this
@rebelann (111117)
• El Paso, Texas
19 Feb
I'm so sorry, I pray that the rehab gets their stuff together to actually help him. Also, if you'd gone out to get the package the you'd be in rehab instead, that wouldn't be good either.
2 people like this
@rebelann (111117)
• El Paso, Texas
19 Feb
Probably not, you've kept your mind sharp just by chatting online with all us cyberfriends, I've read that it's good for the brain when older people do that.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
20 Feb
@rebelann I have no idea why he got so bad so quickly.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
Thank you. If I would have fallen, I doubt I would have hospital delirium or dementia.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (48359)
• Canada
19 Feb
Don't blame yourself for the porch fall, you do not know for certain that is what brought this on, it may have occured anyways. I remember my days working in a long term care facility. There were never enough pairs of hands come meal time, and sometimes residents were taken out first as they were not able to be in that community type of setting, others were left in the hopes that they would nibble on some of the food left to eat. Having the room and the residents all cleaned up and sitting in their rooms or lying in their beds was not living. They need to be up to build their strength and improve their circulation. Have faith in the system.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (48359)
• Canada
19 Feb
@LindaOHio You are probably correct in the fact that he needs more assistance after the hospital stay. Is it a possibility to get him placed in such a facility?
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
He needs to be in a different setting entirely.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
20 Feb
@Juliaacv I am going to start with the person who placed him there. She would know about places that deal more with a one-on-one situation.
1 person likes this
@NJChicaa (115946)
• United States
19 Feb
You can't blame yourself for what happened
3 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
If he hadn't gone to the hospital, he might still be OK.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (74466)
• East Tawas, Michigan
19 Feb
If you'd gone out to get that package, your husband might have fallen indoors. You can't blame yourself for anything that happened! You have been a good wife and terrible things happen to other families, too. Your husband needs to be fed, nurses-aides are suppose to make sure this is done. Facilities around here are the same way. People act like they couldn't care less, about performing quality healthcare. Yet God can perform a miracle! xoxo
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (74466)
• East Tawas, Michigan
20 Feb
@LindaOHio Still, they should understand that he needs to have someone help him with his meals!
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
20 Feb
@kobesbuddy Today I'm going to call the woman who placed him there and see what her thoughts are.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
I think he needs to be in a facility that gives more one-on-one care. This place is for rehab.
1 person likes this
@porwest (78761)
• United States
19 Feb
You can't blame yourself. As awful as the situation is, in some ways, his falling on the porch might have actually saved his life. Always a silver lining, even if it is sometimes hard to find in the moment. I wish things were better though. Hang in there.
3 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
Thanks, Jim. I may have to start looking for a place that gives more one-on-one care.
2 people like this
@porwest (78761)
• United States
20 Feb
@LindaOHio It seems so based on your other posts. I hope you can find the help he needs.
1 person likes this
• Rupert, Idaho
19 Feb
I am so sorry to hear about how he is doing...glad the place is clean but that sounds about the only good thing. Hopefully they'll start being more helpful and things will improve. Sounds very scary, I am so sorry....
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
Thank you, Courtney. He needs to be somewhere else.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
20 Feb
@MommyOfEli2013 I think I will call the woman that placed him there and see if she can help.
• Rupert, Idaho
19 Feb
@LindaOHio I am sorry that this place hasn't been the best for him...
2 people like this
@Beestring (13298)
• Hong Kong
19 Feb
Please don't blame yourself. It's not your fault. Take care. Will continue to pray for both of you.
3 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
Thank you very much.
2 people like this
@marguicha (215305)
• Chile
19 Feb
I´m so very sorry! Sometimes nurses should go and get other jobs I´m always thinking of you two.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
Thank you so much.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98775)
• India
20 Feb
Very difficult to like post. Please don't blame yourself about that package retrieval. You did not know this would happen. Only if you knew of the possibility, and still went ahead with it, you would be guilty of it. As usual, I am going to advocate Ensure. My father was falling too in 2021 and 2022. Ensure, glynase, stamlo 5 mg, setbrain, ecosprin, Telma 40 1/2 tablet, vitamin D, are the medicines he is being administered. Prior to setbrain, I was giving him Syndopa (which is for Parkinsons ..it did not help much). I even took some help with Homeopathy and gastroenterologist. He is no longer falling. Prior to falling he was taking stamlo beta I think, and trental and glynase. I don't like to interfere with others medication. The doctor knows the best. But Ensure is a great thing I feel. Even Setbrain. I don't know if you all get setbrain. But Ensure will help. Is it allowed to bring him home Linda? A couple of weeks diaper changing is the tougher part. Rest of the time, sugar and blood pressure monitoring giving him medicines, ensure, soup, and prescribed diet - I took to teasing my father and thank god he has sense of humor so he laughs and somehow remains out of gloom. You'd do a better job than those lax nurses. Care giving is tough. But it is tougher to watch loved one being neglected in facility like that I feel. If it is allowed and possible, you might want to consider it. I truly am sorry and you are truly in my prayers. God knows such period can be tough on anyone. Love, hugs, tc. Don't forget yourself. Indulge yourself. Treats. Otherwise, self pity will overtake.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98775)
• India
21 Feb
@LindaOHio Aw...I am sorry. I did not know that you are partially disabled. Setbrain and Ensure both are vitamins based stuff, though Setbrain may have other medication. Whatever. Both worked for my father. I cannot pinpoint which one of the two. I am inclined to believe it is Ensure.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
21 Feb
Unfortunately I am partially disabled and unable to give him the care he needs. I suggested Boost or Ensure in the hospital; but I don't think he took it. I am going to suggest that again this afternoon when they call. Thank you so much for your concern and friendship.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
22 Feb
@vandana7 I need to mention that because I did not mention it in yesterday's call. They supposedly are going to try feeding him pureed food to make it easier for him to eat.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (36428)
• Toccoa, Georgia
19 Feb
I feel so sad, hugs
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
Thank you so much, Anne Marie.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (205494)
• Walnut Creek, California
19 Feb
I would have some cross words with the manager of the facility.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98775)
• India
20 Feb
Would that really help? I don't think so. People tend to defend their actions. Or inaction. In this case, inaction. Added to that maybe is the fact that staff may tend to become defiant. Laws at your end are also stringently applied. It makes the job of the facility mnager difficult.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (205494)
• Walnut Creek, California
20 Feb
@LindaOHio "Rehab" implies helping an individual with their cognitive, language, and physical skills.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
I think he belongs at a place that gives more care. This is rehab.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (325531)
• Rockingham, Australia
20 Feb
That must have been such a hard visit. My sister used to go every day to feed my mother but if she didn't, one of the nurses would feed her.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98775)
• India
20 Feb
Nursing is a tough profession. After going through the first four or five patients, indifference sets in. Very few retain that compassionate nature. Constant monitoring is also not possible.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325531)
• Rockingham, Australia
20 Feb
@LindaOHio It is awful that he is not closer. It will be hard for you to monitor his treatment if you're not close by.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
20 Feb
I wish he was closer.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (28363)
19 Feb
Linda, stop blaming yourself about that package. He would have fallen somewhere else; it was simply circumstantial. It is NOT your fault. His heart being so weak is no doubt the big reason that he fell. Heart controls a lot of things. He's suffered confusion and got lost, etc. You had no control over when and where he could fall. I am actually sort of surprised he was sent to a rehab. I've never known a rehab to actually feed someone, or to have the staff to sit with anyone to keep them safe. It's like they didn't know what to do with him, so he went there? I'm not trying to be critical of you in saying that. I asked my nurse practitioner friend about this, and she said, no, they shouldn't have sent him to a rehab. Hopefully, he can be moved somewhere better and get more attention and care than he is getting now.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
19 Feb
He's definitely not getting the care he needs; but the hospital sent him there because the requirements were that he not have a sitter for 24 hours and that he participated in PT.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (155843)
• United States
20 Feb
@MarieCoyle I'm going to call the woman who placed him there and see if she has suggestions for another better place for him.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (28363)
19 Feb
@LindaOHio I think the hospital needs to evaluate the patients individually rather than go by requirements. But I know they don’t do that, unfortunately.
2 people like this