Why are little boys taught not to cry?
By Marie Coyle
@MarieCoyle (47930)
September 1, 2025 5:31pm CST
I was at the pharmacy yesterday (again!) and as usual, there was a wait. Nothing new in the service department, it's slow as ever.
A little boy was there with his parents; he must have been about 4-5 years old. When they were walking inside, he tripped over his shoelace and fell. The floor in that area has carpeting, he didn't really scrape his knee, but it was very red and irritated from falling.
He sat on the floor, put his head on his knee, and his shoulders shook as he silently cried. His Dad leaned over and shook his shoulder-hard. He said in a VERY firm voice ''I told you, no crying when you're hurt! Only babies cry! REAL men don't cry!''
Oh, I had to walk away...I couldn't stand it.
Why is society still like this? Crying is a normal emotion, it can indicate many things, such as pain, sadness, frustration, fear, empathy...it goes on and on. Little boys are still being taught like this, not to feel things? ''Crying isn't manly''--we've all heard that.
I didn't teach my sons not to cry. I told them if they were sad, it was a normal emotion. Of course, they were not crybabies and never have been. I have seen them cry as adults a few times--when my Dad passed away, and a grandmother, and several very loved aunts. I think that's normal--they loved those people dearly. But in the eyes of many parents, little boys should learn not to cry.
Do you believe like this? I just can't. Emotions are normal, not just for girls and women, but for everyone.
Pinterest picture of a book cover.
14 people like this
14 responses
@snowy22315 (195352)
• United States
15h
I can't believe these poor ideas are still being perpetuated. I never told my son he couldn't cry .but he was never a crybaby either. Sis used to get frustrated with my nephew though .because he would still cry from frustration when he was about 8. She told him he sounded like a little baby.
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (195352)
• United States
14h
@MarieCoyle Believe me she has always bent over backwards for him. I would agree he was a bit old to be doing that Parents are human
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (47930)
•
14h
My boys weren’t crybabies, either. I’m sorry your sister told your nephew that. 
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (47930)
•
14h
@snowy22315
Yes, parents are human, you are right. I’ve made many mistakes without even knowing it.
2 people like this
@NJChicaa (124501)
• United States
14h
I wouldn't have been able to keep my mouth shut. I straight up would have flipped out on that a-hole. 4 or 5 years old?!?!?!?! Cry all you want or need to. "real men?" what does that even mean? Let's go idiot and whip it out so we can measure it. (yours not your son's)
Insecure males who can't handle their children having genuine feelings. Disgusting.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (47930)
•
13h
Oh, I had to step away or I would have opened my big mouth for sure!! I’ve seen these things escalate and I would have been no match for him. The mother did nothing but she appeared very hostile. The Dad, well he is a huge boil on the butt of humanity!
2 people like this
@celticeagle (179185)
• Boise, Idaho
14h
Men are still this way. It's ego I think. I think it causes trauma when a youngster isn't allowed to show their emotions. It could even cause some psychological issues.
3 people like this
@MarieCoyle (47930)
•
14h
Oh, I can truthfully say that here in the US, it’s been that way for years. It’s not as bad as it once was, but the “man up and stop crying “ is still a real thing.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (54812)
• Canada
14h
@MarieCoyle I am really surprised that it is that way across all classes, you would naturally think that the better educated parents, would not feel nor act in that manner.
It probably did the cavemen good but today's society is much more advanced.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (47930)
•
14h
@Juliaacv
It’s not a good thing. All parents don’t teach their kids this, but a good many still do. I am sure it stems from what they learned from their parents.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (47930)
•
12h
All that emotion gets channeled into the wrong path. Not good.
2 people like this
@allknowing (152777)
• India
12h
That is ridiculous. I know boys are told not to cry.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (47930)
•
12h
It's just wrong. Tears are to be expected by tiny children, it's just how they express whatever the problem is.
2 people like this
@wolfgirl569 (121742)
• Marion, Ohio
15h
I never taught my kids not to cry either. But I know their dad tried to. In my opinion many that feel that way are very insecure and trying not to show it.
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (47930)
•
14h
Yes,the ex was taught that men don’t cry. He tried to teach the boys that, but I put my foot down and completely squashed that idea.
2 people like this
@Traceyjayne (4785)
• United Kingdom
2h
It is very sad that situations like that are still happening these days. Unfortunately, it will always happen. There is a huge difference between crying if you are sad or hurt, either physically or emotionally and being a ‘cry baby’. There is sometimes ….not always ….something in the upbringing of people if they say that ‘real men don’t cry ‘.
@innertalks (23110)
• Australia
9h
Just as sad, for me, are those men who are too serious to laugh too.
They never smile, and are solemn faced all the time.
Perhaps this demeanour, in some men, stems from them not being allowed to cry either.
@innertalks (23110)
• Australia
5h
@MarieCoyle Yes, I know a few men like that, as they do not want to show their true self to others, but always remain a poker face, outer demeanour.
We all need to mature emotionally, at the same time as we grow mentally, and physically, and spiritually, too. We should not neglect growing more, in any part of ourselves.
@MarieCoyle (47930)
•
5h
There seems to be some men who were taught to be stoic and show no emotion at all. That’s just not normal to me.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (199582)
• United States
37m
I think that dad must be a hold-out because I don't think that's the common attitude today.
@LooeyVille (47)
• United States
2h
I didn't think there were dads out there like that anymore. That's old school.
