When someone offends your friend, does that result in them offending you too? / myLot

United States

October 19, 2025 10:24am CST

I have wondered about this, and I guess people differ greatly. If someone does something seriously wrong to your friend, and they don’t apologize, but revel in it, do you cut them off? Say you both know them, but you’re not nearly as close to them as you are to your friend. Do you think, hey, they didn’t do that terrible thing to me! I’ll still act like nothing happened. Or, do you recognize how bad it was, and cut that offending person out of your life too?

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8 responses

Jenaisle

@Jenaisle (16544)

• Philippines

If someone seriously wrongs my friend and shows no remorse, especially if they revel in it, I can't ignore that. Even if the harm wasn't done to me directly, it reflects who that person is. Loyalty matters, and so does integrity. I wouldn’t continue a relationship with someone capable of that kind of behavior. It’s not about taking sides blindly, but about standing up for what's right. If they hurt someone I care about and feel no guilt, I have no reason to keep them in my life. How people treat others says a lot about how they’ll treat you eventually.

2 people like this

Amber

@AmbiePam (104423)

• United States

That’s a great response!

1 person likes this

Jenaisle

@Jenaisle (16544)

• Philippines

@AmbiePam Thank you. Have a great week.

1 person likes this

Lenore Plassman

@sallypup (66352)

• Centralia, Washington

That is exactly the situation but it involves one of my sisters and a niece. Sister won't apologize to niece. I've written off sister. She is not allowed on my property or in my house now.

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Amber

@AmbiePam (104423)

• United States

That must have been very serious. I really hope she comes to her senses and apologizes.

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Amber

@AmbiePam (104423)

• United States

@sallypup Absolutely, and it seems like a simple thing to ask.

Lenore Plassman

@sallypup (66352)

• Centralia, Washington

@AmbiePam For sure serious. She says that my other sister's daughter was lying about things to do with her Mom. Bologna. So sister took the daughter's Mom and placed her in a Memory Care place. Good idea but the sister that did it needed to speak decently to the daughter and not treat her like dirt.

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snowy

@snowy22315 (197577)

• United States

Hmm, I guess it might depend on the circumstances If they seemed happy about how they acted toward the other person..I probably cut them off, or at least find out the reasoning behind it, and see if it made any sense at all

1 person likes this

Stacey

@xstitcher (36059)

• Petaluma, California

Not sure how to answer that. The Bible says to forgive--I would ask my friend if they at least wanted me to talk to the person.

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Amber

@AmbiePam (104423)

• United States

Oh, forgiveness is key, but I wouldn’t interact with a continually awful person, even if I forgave them. That’s a good idea though, to ask the friend.

Anna

@LadyDuck (485263)

• Italy

If my friend who was offended cut with them, I would also do.

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LooeyVille

@LooeyVille (63)

• United States

I don't like it when somebody offends my friend. I am "on guard" around the offender.

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Marie

@Tampa_girl7 (53545)

• United States

Someone reveling in hurting another would be a turnoff for me.

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APARAJITA BHATTACHARJEE

@mytunemagic (167)

•

Probably not. Will wait and listen to them, then see how my friend reacts. If it feels wrong on their part, make an attempt to make them understand where they are wrong in my friend's defense, then take a decision.

1 person likes this