Relationship
By Judy Story
@jstory07 (147267)
Roseburg, Oregon
January 30, 2026 9:54pm CST
My twenty year old friend that used to live next door came over to ask me for advise on relationships.
This is what she told me. Her boyfriend asked her to marry him. Than he took her to the jewelry store to pick out a ring. When she picked out one he told her to pay for it. She did not pay for it. That seemed wrong to her.
When they left the jewelry store she asked him why he wanted her to pay for the ring. He told her it would be her ring why would he pay for it. She said that sent up red flags maybe she was with the wrong guy. So she told him she did not want to go out with him anymore.
So she asked me what makes a good relationship.
This is what I told he:
I told her both people in a relationship want to feel safe.
Both need to feel that the other one wants what they want and they both get along with each other.
Each one understands what the other wants and they both work together to have what they both want.
I did not know what to tell her. I hope I told her the right things.
9 people like this
8 responses
@DaddyEvil (166620)
• United States
7h
I'm glad she dumped him! He was a first class loser! Telling her to pay for the ring wasn't right. He should have helped pay for it, too.
I wouldn't have a problem if he had suggested they split the cost of the ring but a lot of people won't agree with that thinking, either. But, feeling safe in a relationship still means not spending money you don't have and expecting the other person to help pay for things you both want.
When my first wife wanted rings (one for each of us) I didn't see a problem with splitting the costs between us. They were our rings so she should pay half the cost. (My first wife had a good job, too.) Back when our parents were getting married, only the man worked so he had to pay for everything. Now, both work so the money should come from both of them for things they both want.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (166620)
• United States
6h
@jstory07 I've always paid for everything since Pretty was my kid... Now, she's paying for everything since she's my kid. 
(She earns her money by helping me when I can't see. Medicaid pays her.)
(She earns her money by helping me when I can't see. Medicaid pays her.)
@sallypup (67795)
• Centralia, Washington
6h
Deep respect and need to work as a team: that will help keep a couple together. If there is discord, the need to think of the other's feelings and way of seeing things will smooth the path. Can you laugh and share silly moments and can you pick up the other's pain if it comes to that? The attitude of the man bothers me more than who paid for the ring. He didn't discuss the money issue. He just popped it on her.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (202106)
• United States
7h
pay for her own ring..
.Loser glad she got rid of him.
.Loser glad she got rid of him.1 person likes this
@jstory07 (147267)
• Roseburg, Oregon
7h
I wanted to say that to her but I wanted to stay away from that and give her some advise.
@LindaOHio (212431)
• United States
3h
That was good advice. I would kick that guy to the curb as well. I would rather have him tell me that he couldn't afford the ring then tell me to pay for it!!!
1 person likes this
@crossbones27 (52077)
• Mojave, California
6h
Once it becomes about money , relationship is lossed, does not matter who is supposed to pay for it or how is supposed to be for the gentlemen or lady. You are neither if you make it about money and a set of rules. You should have not tried to get married in the first place if that is what all was to you in the first place.
