When are you going to have kids?
By Amber
@AmbiePam (116381)
United States
March 30, 2026 4:05pm CST
My cousin on my mom’s side (the youngest daughter of my terrible awful uncle) posted on Facebook yesterday something that caught my eye. She got the sickly genes from her dad like I got the sickly genes of my mom. Although, and she would never say it, I think she is sicker than me. Anyway, she has to have a big (non malignant) tumor removed, and while they are “in the area” they are removing her tubes. She very nicely said she’d like to take the opportunity to ask people to refrain from asking young couples when they are going to have children. In her case, getting pregnant would be dangerous, but even more than that, she doesn’t want to have a baby and pass on these awful genetics. She concluded you just never know what someone is going through. I wish you could read it because she wrote it better than I’m relating it.
I get the when are you getting married question. That doesn’t bother me, but it is rude. I remember, and I know they thought they were being nice, someone told me I was so smart and so pretty they didn’t understand why I wasn’t married. I really don’t know what they expected me to say to that.
Do you guys ask questions like that?
12 people like this
14 responses
@DaddyEvil (170833)
• United States
4h
Pretty always said she didn't want to pass on our genes to kids. She hates people asking when she'll get married and will go off on them if they ask. I cheered her on! She doesn't have to be anyone's anything if she doesn't want to be. Her boyfriend told her he was fine with them just being friends and no children if she ever moves to Georgia to live with him.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (170833)
• United States
Just now
@AmbiePam True, I agree. I didn't know I'd inherited so many genetic problems when I had Pretty.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (168319)
• United States
1h
I hold in the back of my mind the answer Ann Landers suggested for those rude and personal questions--"Now why would you ever ask a question like that?" or something similar. Like "Who gives you the right to be so rude and and nosey?" I try not to ask rude questions like that.
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (84472)
• United States
Just now
In the first place, it's nobody's friggin' business when someone is "going to have kids."
In the second place, anyone who'd asked me that when I was young would have been asked for $100,000 to raise said kid.
In the third place, it's nobody's friggin' business when someone is "going to have kids."
I had an ovarian tumor (non-malignant, thank God) when I was in my 30s, so that eliminated any snarky questions (although I did tell people I decided to have a tumor instead of a baby 
).
).1 person likes this
@noni1959 (12838)
• United States
2h
It is rude to ask those questions. I have two friends who had emergency surgeries in their early 20's so it took away their chance of children. One went on to foster for awhile and the other decided children wasn't mean to be. When someone asks those questions, the best answer would be, "that's a pretty personal question."
1 person likes this
@thislittlepennyearns (67437)
• Defuniak Springs, Florida
1h
I am done having kids. You know the situation that if we "got" another kid.
I had a stillbirth at 15, and then Harper at almost 24.
And then the bonus babies.
So I'm done with the baby makin.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (56588)
•
2h
It's wrong to ask someone why they don't have children, or when are they going to have them. It's also wrong to ask why you aren't married. Those are extremely personal questions. I was taught old school, you never, ever asked people these type of questions. You could listen and discuss things like this with them if they initiated the conversation and wanted your opinion, but that was the only reason you could discuss things that were deeply personal.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (131990)
• Marion, Ohio
5h
Not doing that again 
But she is right. Everybody has to make their own choices.
But she is right. Everybody has to make their own choices.1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (50560)
• Staten Island, New York
6h
When my husband was still living with me we’d get asked about kids plenty of times. Some even thought we didn’t have kids because we had issues getting pregnant. 
The nerve of some people.
The nerve of some people.1 person likes this
@MommyOfEli2013 (87573)
• Rupert, Idaho
3h
Guess it's just normal things that people expect everyone to go through, but they aren't necessarily for everyone. My mom never got married. But I don't pry into people's business with questions like that
1 person likes this
