Taking love for granted.
By marguicha
@marguicha (230365)
Chile
May 3, 2026 8:16pm CST
Hello friends.
When we get old and live alone there are many thoughts that come and go as birds fly on a spring day.
And lately I am trying to understand the difference between my relation with friends and my relation with my own blood family.
My grandchildren offer visits, I prepare special food and dress up for special visits and they message me at the last minute that they will not be able to come. My friends, on the other hand, ask me what they can bring and they prepare for the visit as I do.
And I wonder whether it is just too naive to keep on thinking about what is their favorite food and thawing a bid amount of meat.
Do you have such problems?
16 people like this
14 responses
@GardenGerty (170051)
• United States
4 May
No, I have no family nearby. I have one or two friends I make a point to visit with, but we go out. Is it perhaps a generational thing? Your grandkids are acting like the relaxed social standards that are current. Doing special things for visitors is old fashioned. It is our fashion, though.
4 people like this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
4 May
I´m afraid that with 80 years of age I must be old fashioned
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (175584)
• United States
4 May
No. While we have family close by, none of them come to visit except my brother and his wife. They'd rather take us out to eat than let us take them out. Which is fine but we don't really want to eat out. We'd rather buy something in the restaurants and bring it home to eat.
We still don't trust other people to stay home if they have Covid or the flu and not pass it on to perfect strangers in a restaurant.
3 people like this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
4 May
I don´t worry about Covid or flu. Everyone has had vaccinations for both.
3 people like this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
4 May
@DaddyEvil It seems that in your country there are less people vaccinated so it is easier to catch covid in public places. I caught the covid years ago after I had all my vaccines, but I did not even have fever. My only problem was one week of heavy bronchitis but I blamed it on the decades of heavy smoking.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (175584)
• United States
4 May
@marguicha Yes and yet, people can still get both of them and I can still catch them even though I've been vaccinated. I'd rather not take the chance of dying from them.
2 people like this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
4 May
It is a shame. Although I know that it is our relatives´ loss if they don´t care for us.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (504497)
• Italy
4 May
@marguicha - It's their loss, they know we will always be there for them if they need.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
4 May
I think that the next time I´ll just boil some pasta and make an easy sauce for it.
2 people like this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
10 May
@JudyEv If they can live on fast food when they are in their homes, they can live on pasta at my house. Maybe I should cook a huge amount of any sort of tomato and meat sauce for pasta and freeze it in 2 people´s servings to thaw when Diego comes. It will still be a lot better than his usual food.
Maybe I should cook a huge amount of any sort of tomato and meat sauce for pasta and freeze it in 2 people´s servings to thaw when Diego comes. It will still be a lot better than his usual food.1 person likes this
@JudyEv (384654)
• Rockingham, Australia
5 May
@marguicha That sounds a very good idea to me. They don't deserve the trouble you go to.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (60388)
•
4 May
If the grandchildren call and want to visit, don't cook for them. Tell them IF they come, they can take you out to eat...or I suppose you could take them out, depending on finances or what you want to do. That's not fair of them at all, you deserve better treatment than that.
2 people like this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
4 May
I think that the next time I´ll just cook some pasta and make something easy.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
5 May
@MarieCoyle Yes. I always have ice cream in my freezer to make ice coffee. They can have some and I don´t have to work.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (60388)
•
5 May
@marguicha
Just slap some meat,cheese,and bread out there maybe. Make a dessert. Then if they cancel you can have it all! Just kidding, but be kind to yourself, Marga. 
1 person likes this
@Ineeddentures (38237)
•
4 May
No such problems here Marga
We don't invite family to come and see us
And we really only have one regular visitor who likes my cooking
Yay for us, life is simple
I think it's quite bad manners for you to get a last minute message saying someone can't make it after you have gone to a lot of trouble
3 people like this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
5 May
@Ineeddentures It pisses me off too. But it is in part my fault. I should stop cooking special food for them. I should just receive them with a smile and a kiss and that´s all. And eat whatever I have that day.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (122811)
• United States
4 May
Younger people will someday experience what you do, and they will regret the way they behaved with their grandmother. I always looked forward to visits with my grandparents, and hopefully your grandchildren will start to appreciate you more too.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (191362)
• Boise, Idaho
4 May
Isn't it funny how different people are. Is that just a young thing or what?
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (191362)
• Boise, Idaho
9 May
@marguicha ........I so agree. Life used to be so family oriented. Not so today.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
5 May
I think that the young generation is less attached to family than what we were years ago.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (137360)
• Marion, Ohio
4 May
It's the way the younger ones are. I don't do anything special when I am expecting visitors except over Christmas
1 person likes this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
4 May
I like to cook something special for my relatives or friends when they come.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
4 May
I tell everybody I know to tell me beforehand if they are coming so that I can cook something special. My grandchildren though change their plans with me at the last minute.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
5 May
@rakski It is in part my fault. I should not prepare wonderful meals for them. I should just give them a kiss when and if they come.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (99021)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
4 May
I am completely alone and have absolutely no one; I have lived like a recluse in my apartment sine about two years ago. I wish your grandchildren took more notice of you.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
5 May
Don´t you have any club for seniors where you can go where you live? Mylot is wonderful for people like us but we need the contact with people with whom we can talk while looking at their eyes.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (99021)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
5 May
@marguicha I do not do well among strangers.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
10 May
@RasmaSandra It is not easy at first. That´s part of why onlinr friendship is less demanding.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (28510)
• Singapore
4 May
I am retired for about ten years now.
The young "seem" to be busy and I leave them to their own devices.
It is not easy to prepare meals and then they just nibble saying they had something before visiting us.
Now I go with the times - happy with a few old friends.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
5 May
I am nearer to my few old friends than to my younger blood relatives.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (223711)
• United States
4 May
Cousin #3 keeps saying she is coming over to help; but she rarely makes it.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
10 May
@LindaOHio That´s exactly how my grandchildren behave.
1 person likes this
