Was it an escape attempt?
@GardenGerty (170716)
United States
October 6, 2026 7:59pm CST
Actually they call it "elopement" at nursing homes, schools and residential settings.
Bob is in a closed, or locked wing. I wanted that for him. He was even getting lost in our house. There are 18 residents on his hall. Many of them are non verbal and a large percentage are not mobile but use wheelchairs.
However, one of the more functional gentlemen has always made a point to call me a "nice lady" He speaks very clearly. Is not always logical, but is very clearly understood. Often repeats himself.
I got ready to leave and come home yesterday. To exit the wing either an employee scans their badge for you OR there is a keypad with a code. I know the code. I was approaching the door when the nurses called out that gentleman's name. He said it was okay, he just wanted to tell the nice lady goodbye. "I know you don't want me to run away with her."he said. I gave him a handshake and a side hug, and left.
I wonder if he really was trying to leave the unit? What do you think?
17 people like this
18 responses
@Ineeddentures (30625)
•
20h
Well maybe he knows more what he is doing than they think Heather
Did he see you enter the code?
5 people like this
@GardenGerty (170716)
• United States
20h
No, they called out to him before that. I have been in facilities where the codes were so simple residents often learned them. I guard that key pad just like it is an ATM keypad. I do not want them to have to change it. I might not memorize it as easily.
5 people like this
@GardenGerty (170716)
• United States
20h
@Ineeddentures He reads, and converses, and tries to help people. He does, however, repeat himself, often. He will ask repeatedly for ice cream, which the kitchen stocks us with in little containers. If he was young I would say he had ADD. He will offer me his chair if he is sitting next to Bob, and then five minutes later offer again, then promise not to ask me again, but do it anyway. He listens in on other conversations and tries to add his own two cents worth, even if it is a nurse talking to someone.
3 people like this
@Ineeddentures (30625)
•
20h
@GardenGerty
That's not so bad then
When you say more functional , how functional do you think he is?
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (170716)
• United States
20h
He is just restless and always "busy" walking around. Getting things for other residents, asking them if they want snacks and telling the nurses to get them. He is a good hearted person.
3 people like this
@AmbiePam (129908)
• United States
20h
@GardenGerty He sounds like it. I’m glad there are other positive residents living there, not just sweet Bob.
3 people like this
@sallypup (69989)
• Centralia, Washington
3h
@GardenGerty Are there activities for the residents? I hate it when I go into a nursing home and see people lined up watching the TV. They could be engaged in simple games or other projects.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (194674)
• Boise, Idaho
15h
I think he was just wanting to tell you goodbye. It seems like he would have reacted differently otherwise.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (170716)
• United States
3h
I hope so. He is still with it enough to know that he would need the pass code.
1 person likes this
@Traceyjayne (14405)
• United Kingdom
20h
Sounds like he was probably trying to leave. Let’s hope he didn’t see the code ….
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (170716)
• United States
20h
I knew he was close behind and I was not going to enter it with him looking. I am not really sure it was an escape attempt so much as just trying to see if he could do it. He likes where he is, and for activities they do go out among the rest of the halls from time to time if they want. He is the type that seems to always need to be busy, pacing and such.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (170716)
• United States
3h
It is a hard choice. Yes, he is a nice man. I do not know if he has family that visits or not.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (170716)
• United States
3h
I would not be allowed, I am not his guardian. I could take my husband out though.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (170716)
• United States
3h
It would depend on what he had on the outside, I would think.My Bob would probably like to leave but knows that he has better care there.
@aninditasen (18408)
• Raurkela, India
7h
Somehow he might be fascinated by your personality.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (170716)
• United States
3h
He could have honestly just been walking me to the door, but I did not want him to see the pass code.
@MarieCoyle (63877)
•
19h
The ex's grandfather, the one we cared for at one time, had terrible dementia. It got so bad that he had to go to a memory care facility. For his first few months, he became an expert escape artist. His nickname one of the nurses gave him was Houdini Bob (he was a Robert, too) and he could be so sneaky to get out. But he never went far. He had no destination, he said. And yes, there is a good chance the fellow you are talking about was trying to leave. It happens.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (170716)
• United States
3h
That sounds like something my Bob would say. When they kept asking him what month and day it was in one hospital he told them "How should I know, there is no calendar or frame of reference here." I am not sure where my friend would go if he did leave, unless he did hope to go with me.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (63877)
•
2h
@GardenGerty
Grandpa Houdini Bob was a brilliant man in his time, his mind was always so active. I know how hard it was to see him that way, and I know it's hard for you, too. I wonder if your friend has any visitors, I sure hope so.
@GardenGerty (170716)
• United States
3h
It is hard to tell. He often is doing various things, but he does not often go out for activities.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (213667)
• United States
7h
Lets hope not, or you will have to be on your guard all the time when you are leaving.
@RasmaSandra (101373)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
Just now
He might not even realize what he is actually doing. How is Bob feeling?
