This morning I feel like the world's worst mother ....
By GreenMoo
@GreenMoo (11834)
August 6, 2011 3:19am CST
I was carrying my youngest yesterday afternoon when my ankle gave way stepping down a bank and we both fell. I dislocated it last year, and it just didn't take my weight. He fell flat on his back, smacking his head on the road from my shoulder height plus the height of the bank. He had a sort of convulsion thing when I picked him up, but wasn't knocked out. A huge lump appeared, but he was lucid and coordinated. When he started to vomit and complain of neck pain later on we took him to the medical centre where they said he was OK but wanted to do Xrays. Our nearest Xray machine is in a hospital miles away. We didn't have enough fuel in the truck to get there and there's no fuel stations in the area open in the evening so they stuck us in an emergency ambulance. It still took 1.5 hours with blue lights flashing.
He's been given the OK, but they wanted to admit him for observation and we decided to take him home instead. They have a ridiculous system where an ambulance will wait for you for 2 hours and after than you're on your own. We didn't want to get stuck there with our elder son home alone and no public transport till 3pm today, and our truck not even at home for someone to pick us up in. So we got back around 5am this morning and OH has already gone back off, not due back home till Monday.
On doctor's advice, I'm currently waking little one hourly to check he's with it, but how on earth do you tell the difference between a disorientated small child because he's sick, and a disorientated small child because he wasn't allowed to sleep until a couple of hours ago and some meanie keeps waking him up?
I'm so grateful he's OK, but I feel absolutely terrible as it was my fall which caused his accident. Tiredness is talking here, but I feel like the world's worst mother. Firstly for falling in the first place and secondly for taking him away from the hospital (which I'm now a good couple of hours away from, with no car handy).
Has something that you've done ever caused one of your kids to be injured?
Am I being over emotional because I haven't slept?
Would you have remained at the hospital, leaving other children alone at home?
6 people like this
17 responses
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
6 Aug 11
I understand how you must be feeling about all these but I must suggest that you remain calm and strong at least until everything is one hundred percent okay. I have to compliment you and all good mothers around the world for having such caring hearts and strong will to love and care. It was a terrible accident and you are not to blame here, the conditions were not in your hands and definitely not an option you chose. No caring mother would leave a child alone at home so you just did what you should. I just hope all gets well as soon as possible. Best wishes!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Aug 11
hi greenmoo for ten minutes,senior minutes, trying to remember why a child must be kept for obervation after a fall. concussion of
course but although he did sound like he had a slight concussion hes okay now so no harm done and of course you could not leave your other children at home along either.so its not up to us to say you should have stayed at the hospital with your son as we would not have had the same circumstances to face that you had. You did the best you co uld and it was good enough too.
@GreenMoo (11834)
•
7 Aug 11
Well if he's not allowed to go to sleep I guess you don't have to worry about whether he wakes? .....!
Actually a UK based myLotter told me that procedure is now to allow them to sleep, but just watch for trouble, their breathing etc. Whether its right or not, allowing him to sleep would have reduced the stress he was suffering. Keeping a small child from sleeping int he small hours of the morning isnt easy.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
7 Aug 11
Wow, what an overwhelming thing to happen to a kid, and to the kid's parents!!
Something similar happened to me when I was a child, but it did not turn out to be as severe as your case. Mom, Dad, my sister and I were at Niagara Falls, and my mother was carrying me (I'd had surgery on my legs and was in a wheelchair most of the time) across some old railroad tracks, which the wheelchair would not go over, of course. She tripped on a broken tie, and we both went down. Boy did that hurt, but we were OK. Unfortunately Dad screamed his head off for the rest of the day. Come on, as if my head didn't already hurt enough? LOL Mom also felt bad enough, and it was an accident, for crying out loud. Reacting emotionally like he did is not the way to deal with such a situation.
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
24 Aug 11
It's not your fault that you fell. No your not being over emotional, your a mom, that's how we are suppose to be, 
. I can't say I ever did anything like that with my kids where I had to take them to the hospital. When I fell while holding kids, I was the only one that took the full impact. Except once, I was holding my niece and walking on my parents property, we didn't see the electric fence that my dad put up to keep the horses in. Well, to make story short, my niece flew out of my arms, and I was knocked out. When I came to, she was standing over me asking me if I was ok and saying that was a fun ride. I took the wire directly to my forehead, ouch.
The 2nd time I was holding my youngest and I hit a slick patch of mud and went flying forward. My daughter landed on her feet, while I took the full impact of my stone porch to my knees, again ouch.
. I can't say I ever did anything like that with my kids where I had to take them to the hospital. When I fell while holding kids, I was the only one that took the full impact. Except once, I was holding my niece and walking on my parents property, we didn't see the electric fence that my dad put up to keep the horses in. Well, to make story short, my niece flew out of my arms, and I was knocked out. When I came to, she was standing over me asking me if I was ok and saying that was a fun ride. I took the wire directly to my forehead, ouch.
The 2nd time I was holding my youngest and I hit a slick patch of mud and went flying forward. My daughter landed on her feet, while I took the full impact of my stone porch to my knees, again ouch.
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
6 Aug 11
This is exactly the type of thing I'm neurotic about.
I'm sure he is fine though.
What I remember hearing after someone had a concussion is to make sure they are rousable.. like not passed out.
My youngest got a concussion last summer, he was only 2. It happened at the pool when a teenager knocked him over. I knew he had a concussion immediately because he was disoriented and threw up. I brought him to the ER.. but they made us wait hours upon hours. After awhile my son was acting normal and even eating snacks that another young patient waiting to be seen had decided to share with him. I debated for a long while what to do.. because I don't believe they do anything for concussions and since my child was acting normal he obviously was not seriously damaged.. so I brought him home without being seen. I kept a close eye on him and tried to rouse him a few times.. but he was so tired I could not wake him.. but everything turned out fine.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
10 Aug 11
I think it was an accident, and you shouldn't be too hard on yourself.
As a parent, I think it is but natural that you are feeling that way. Being guilty, because we always feel guilty when something happens to our kids.
You did what you had to do, and I do hope he's feeling better now.
@34momma (13882)
• United States
7 Aug 11
oh girl it's was an accident. you can't blame yourself for that. you fell down. it's not like you pushed him. you can't beat yourself up about this. it's not good to you and it's not good for him to have his mommy so upset. hug and kiss him and let him know you love it. you are a great mother who took her child to get medical attention after an accident to make sure he was ok...
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
7 Aug 11
Hi Greenmoo,
accidents happen so stop kicking yourself for it and be grateful that your son is doing well. I have four girls that are now grown but I remember those days. They take so many knocks that we feel we should have prevented. you had no control over the situation. Your leg gave out. You aren't a bad mom because of that. I vote that you are NOT a bad mom and you need to stop worrying about this. My brother tossed his daughter in the air playing with her as he had a zillion times and this one time, he dropped her and it resulted in not only a broken arem but ooe that needed surgery and pins. He was devastated. He did not mean to hurt her. To this day, he feels bad and she is 27 and fine.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Aug 11
hi greenmoo no no you are not a bad mom at all, accidents happen just like the one where I fell and broke my nose, and twisted my knee,there was a spill of water on the floor and I slipped in it and fell.You could not help that your leg gave way, and I am only glad you were not badly hurt. While I do think as an ex nurses aide it wo uld have been best to leave him in the hospital over night for observation seeing he had vomited and had a slight convulsion and too its hard for non medical persons to know just how to check a child that way.oh my its hard to say as you cannot leave the other children alone. I would have called a family member to watch my kids but that also depended on your personal circumstances as only you know if you could have done that. but I am really glad hes now okay and tiredness causes a lot of stuff like me not looking at the floor and taking a bad fall.Get some sleep and forget about the blame game, you were overly tired and you did the best you could. lol hugsfrom 
hatley
hatley@GreenMoo (11834)
•
7 Aug 11
Thanks for the kind words Hatley. Unfortunately we are very much alone here without relatives etc to call on, but if the doctor had been insistent we would have stayed at the hospital for as long as was needed. When we said we wanted to head home she had no problem with it so I really think it was just a precaution. Certainly little one is now up and about and seems absolutely fine after a very long sleep. I am so grateful!
@earthpanther (148)
• United States
6 Aug 11
First, you are not the worst parent in the world. It is obvious that you care about your child. I do have some ideas for you to prevent or at least ease the worry if situations occur in the future. You may want to wear an ankle brace on your bad ankle, especially if you are going to be carrying your child.
Also, I am not sure where you live that no gas stations are available at night; around here you can usually get gas even if they are closed by paying at the pump with a debit or credit card. Perhaps you should make sure you fill up the truck when the tank gets to a certain level, say half or quarter full depending on how much gas it would take to get to the hospital. That way you know you can always make it there if you have to.
If possible I would have stayed at the hospital. Since you had already left the other child at home, it would depend on how old that child is. Do you have any close friends or relatives you could have called to go watch your other child while you stayed at the hospital?
I think some rest would do you good. I am sure everything will be fine and you are doing the best job you can of being a parent.
@GreenMoo (11834)
•
6 Aug 11
Thanks for your kind words earthpanther. Both of us do feel a lot better after a sleep.
Unfortunately all our local petrol stations close completely at a certain point in the evening. We asked at the medical centre, and they couldn't think of a single one which open on the route. We always keep a 5 litre tank in the truck for emergencies, but it wouldn't have been enough for a 3 hours round trip.
1 person likes this
@changjiangzhibin89 (16543)
• China
6 Aug 11
Fortunately your youngest son is nothing serious.Judging by what you said, he likely suffered from slight Concussion.There is no need for you to reprove yourself.Who would have thought it?much less,you dislocated your ankle last year.However I think after it was all over,you became really scared.
@icantthinkofaname (135)
•
6 Aug 11
You poor thing. It was an accident. It's not like you threw him down on purpose!! Give yourself a break.
The advice here with a bump to the head is now to let them sleep. Just check on them to make sure their breathing is regular etc.
You have had to juggle things to accomodate your other son. Kids are resiliant and can take alot more than we think. Try to get some sleep and things won't seem as bad :)
Hugs
@enigma13 (372)
• Philippines
7 Aug 11
Glad your son is feeling okay now green! Fortunately nothing like this has happened to me before. I don't think you are being overly emotional though as I know that would be a mother's natural reaction. Like what a lot of our fellow Lotters said though, it clearly is not your fault. It was an accident that you had no control of. I would have been as torn as you are with regard to the matter of going home or staying in the hospital. That was such a huge dilemma and I admire you for handling it well.
@allknowing (130092)
• India
6 Aug 11
You did not plan that fall that you should feel guilty about it. You are in a situation where there are no facilities that could make everything easy and yet you did your best. Getting back without the ambulance would certainly put you to a lot of inconvenience. And what if you also fall ill. So relax. You have done your best.
@nurseclare (2209)
• Philippines
6 Aug 11
Hi greenmoo,
I hope you can send your child at a hospital with all the facilities you need.
I know how hard it is for you just slow down you did NOT mean to do it. I don't have a child yet. I hope and pray that you'll have a god rest for it will cause stress in you. Just make sure you have a maid/nanny to take care for your child or a stroller. So you wont have the same problem again. Godbless and be strong..
@voracious (624)
• Philippines
6 Aug 11
It's not your fault when your ankle fall because like you said it was an accident and you don't have control in the situation that time. I suggest that your youngest must undergo a CT scan for further observation.
