Are you dependant on a man?

@SomeCowgirl (32271)
United States
September 12, 2011 11:11am CST
Okay first off, let met start off by saying I am going to try to make this discussion as... uhm.. friendly as possible. I know my point of view on it will be friendly, but what I mean is I am going to try to make it nearly IMPOSSIBLE for people to trash others and their opinions on this matter. We all should respect our opinions on the matter. Females, are you dependant on your man or on a man? Do you feel like you are because they want you to be? Are you because you want to be? Is it just part of your culture or upbringing? I am dependant in a way. I guess you could call me a bit of a... old fashioned person / fifties idealist (the era). I feel like a woman should be dependant on a man in certain situations and ways. I also believe that men are generally right about a lot of things, where women are wrong.. OKAY this is where It gets to be NO FLAMING. DON'T FLAME ME because of my beliefs. I am the type of person who feels comfortable relying on a man, in certain ways that is. In other ways I am independant, but in reality I have to say I value the opinion of a man more then I do of a woman.. WHY? I don't know, it's hard to tell. I can't really explain it, and I realize this might cause a lot of flaming / assumptions. Let me point out, that assumptions make a donkey out of you and me, so let's not be donkey's okay? also, if you want to be a donkey you can count on your response to my discussion being deleted. Now I have to begin to wonder how many men are falling in love with me because I basically just said I trust them more then women... Give me your POV BUT BE RESPECTUL OF MINE, AND OTHERS. If you so much as spit in anyone's general direction, I will report your donkey!
3 people like this
19 responses
@GardenGerty (96670)
• Marion, Kansas
13 Sep 11
I believe that couples should be co dependent, and not in a bad way. Each member of a relationship needs to bring their best to the relationship If the woman is good at managing the money, she should do it, or if she is good at electrical wiring. If hubby is good at cooking, enjoy it. Am I dependent on a man, probably only financially, actually we share in that too, and we would each be sunk without the other. I do depend on him to do the things he does well that I do not do so well. He depends on me the same way. We try to bring our best to the marriage.
@ElicBxn (60763)
• United States
13 Sep 11
I am nearly 58 yrs old. I have never been married or in a serious relationship. Since I moved out from my folks at 22 I have never had a "man in the house" so to speak... However, I certainly understand that other people don't feel this way and if it makes you happy to have one, that's fine - but don't discount MY opinion just because I'm female. I have a college education. I know my limitations, I couldn't do construction, but most of the guys I know doing construction couldn't do some of the things I can. I won't mess with electricity, but I can make a lot of repairs around the house. I refuse to be a helpless female, heck, I can beat up a 1000 horse, I can beat off 2 guys who were trying to drag me away to rape me, I can take care of myself.
2 people like this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
12 Sep 11
Financially right now I am because I recovering from fighting cancer and the Docs don't want me to work. But for many years a I made a good income and was not. I hope to not be again. I enjoy talking to most men more than most women. I think because I only had Mom as a female and she was always angry about something. I had 3 brothers and a Dad. My Mom had 4 brothers, a Mom and a Dad. Also when I was a teenager, I had about 3 female friends. The others saw themselves as in competition with me. I could talk easily with guys and get their attention. Some girls couldn't. So they were always trying to show me up. Since I've gotten married, I have more female friends. Also females who are mostly married or have given up looking.
2 people like this
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
18 Sep 11
Yes. I have to depend on a man for some things but not a whole lot. I am pretty independent and like to do things myself if possible.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (117235)
• Boise, Idaho
14 Sep 11
I don't think I have ever been that dependant on a man. Back when I first left home and got married I got pregnant right away and was dependant financially on my husband until he mistreated me and I left him. I have never been since. I have held down a full time job except for about a year when my mother was sick and dying and took a part time job so I could spend time with her. Now I am retired and get SS and live with my daughter. I had old-fashioned views too and still do.
@blue65packer (11835)
• United States
13 Sep 11
No I am not. I am dependent on myself. With my most serious relationship I was totally dependent on my boyfriend! I didn't know any better! I had been so dependent on my parents growing up they never let me be independent so I would be ready for the real world! Thanks to my lack of nurturing,I didn't know what I was doing! I get in a relationship with a man I loved,planned to marry and had moved in with. I wanted to be taken care of! I never had lived on my own before I moved in my first love! Six months later I was told to move out! Biggest reason was because I had gottan so dependent on him! I moved out and I am a better person because of it! I did alot of growing up and maturing when I did this! I did come close agian of livng with another boyfriend. I am glad it never happened and it will never happen again! I am happy being single and having no boyfriend! I never will have one again! I learnt awhile go I am not one to be in a relationship and I am happy I am not! Men are to much work and I don't need one! Period!
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
uhm.. no! never is.. never was and never will be! i am dependent on my own. and i think that i will always be this way. I think it is not good to be always dependent on others. when we can be independent, we can always do things our way, and not always wait for others, especially on man.
1 person likes this
@maezee (31573)
• United States
12 Sep 11
LOL. I have the opposite opinion as you. Well, I don't think there's anything WRONG with depending on anyone, but speaking realistically - you should have a back up plan just in case things don't work out and you're left to support yourself. I'm speaking mainly financially. My parents were together for almost 20 years and once they separated and went their separate ways - both of them have been struggling (but mainly my mother). She was so used to only having to work part-time and housekeeping that once she had to 'make it' on her own, without a man helping her foot the bills - well, it's just been a disaster. So, I guess from my own experiences I would say sure, depend on people but make sure you have a back up plan for when it doesn't work out.
1 person likes this
@NoWayRo (1062)
• Romania
12 Sep 11
I'm not dependent on anyone, mostly because I'm a control freak. When my former boyfriend left the country, he asked me to go with him... the idea of depending on his salary before I found a job in a foreign place, and the idea of depending on his friends and co-workers for social contact until I made new friends... it all freaked me out, so I decided to stay put. I don't regret that decision one bit, I think I'd go mad without control. For all it matters, I'd like sometimes to learn to relax and trust other people, maybe then things will change for me... it's on my to do list for the next 50 years or so I think it's only natural to depend on your life partner, that's what a good relationship is all about. Just the same, I think it's natural for a woman to rely more on a man, because they compliment each other's abilities better.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Sep 11
I will never be dependent on a man. It is something i find out of my control.. I like doing for myself and anything he does for me is extra. Right now I am in a bit of a situation because i am so dependent on myself. So I will see what happens. I don't think I could ever sit home and wait on a man to pay my rent or buy me food. never. but it may be good for some and I am fine with it. if that person would die then where are they left then? I like your post..
1 person likes this
@GemmaR (8526)
12 Sep 11
I am not dependant on a man at this moment in time, and I would hope that I will never have to be. The only time that I think I might have to be is when I have children and will be unable to work as much as usual. Because I am self employed, I will not be entitled to any form of maternity pay, and this means that I will really have to think hard about how I am going to save up for the period of time that I will not be able to work online for. I imagine that I will want to take at least two entire months off work, meaning that I would have to rely on my partner for this amount of time. However, it wouldn't be for long, so I can't see a reason that either of us should have a problem with it.
1 person likes this
@saundyl (9690)
• Canada
5 Feb 12
I will start off saying..I'm aware this is an older discussion but i'm now curious. What sorts of things in general do you consider a man right on where women are generally wrong. I consider myself very independent. I'm not married...my boyfriend currently lives in another province...I support myself and i'm perfectly capable of doing things like getting my oil changed or the rest of the car maintained...sure i have to pay a shop to do it but i know to get it done. I'm perfectly capable of using the quad to plow my driveway...and shovel off my deck. I will admit that things like what i just mentioned i used to depend on my dad to take care of...and ive learnt in the last few years to do it myself...or call a professional to take care of it rather than running to my daddy or a boyfriend to help me. I support myself financially. I pay my own bills, order my own propane and do my own housework. I value both men and women's opinions...And that being said if im talking to a woman who is a professional in a typically all male field of work if she is knowledgeable i will respect her opinion just as much as any man's opinion on that subject. I was raised by my parents to believe that a woman can do anything a man can do and do it just as well if not better than a man. And there are things such as child birth that women can do that men just cant do.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
13 Sep 11
Too be honest...I haven't had the chance to be dependent on a man. I wouldn't even now how to start doing it now...lol. I once had a lady in her eighties question me about marriage, men, work...etc. I knew it was because she was from a different era and really just wanted to know what made me tick...LOL. I haven't been able to depend on anyone else. I haven't had family in years and not the best track record with men. For me...it was because I wasn't willing to settle for the environment I would have lived in if I had stayed. So...I made my own environment. If I had depended on anyone else...I would have been putting myself in a bad place where I couldn't control my surroundings. I couldn't afford that. As far as opinions...I don't have a preference as to where they come from..lol..I guess it depends on the one that makes the most sense to me and what the opinion is on.
• United States
13 Sep 11
No, men are not automatically right about certain things just because they are men. That is on par with saying that all women are maternal, warm, and nurturing. In our household, my boyfriend does bring in more money. However, I do not consider myself dependent on him. Yes, I do cook and do most of the cleaning, since he keeps full-time hours, and I don't have a position here. Due to the job situation, we have ended up with a somewhat gendered breakdown of responsibilities; however, that doesn't make me dependent on him. If you are putting your faith into men knowing certain things just because they're men, you are likely in for a very disappointing future. In my relationship, I'm the one who knows more about autos, more about legal stuff, more about animals (including livestock). I'm the one checking out the classic cars and eying the big autos. I'm the one who would love to get my CDL--just to do it.
@cupkitties (6945)
• United States
13 Sep 11
Yes, but not completely. I've spoken before about being in an abusive relationship. Well, in that relationship he made sure I was completely dependent on him. That led to much trouble in the end, so I'll make sure I can do as much for myself as possible. There are plenty of things I can do for myself, but there are also many things that can be done better by men. Even if we could do all those things on our own though we will still need men.
@legrande (68)
• India
13 Sep 11
there goes a saying that, In a gal's life, here childhood is dependent on her dad, and then her brothers, teenage in the hands of boy frens, next, she is dependent on her hubby, after that her son... and it goes on and on!!!! is this nature's gift for gals or power for the guys!!!!
@shanemae (1025)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
i may be dependent in a way but not all the time because i can do things on my own. i am independent before this man came so i am not totally dependent on him. i think for a good relationship hmm.. both must be co dependent.
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
13 Sep 11
HI SomeCowgirl, Well, I am a woman and I am very independent in a lot of ways. I've always believed that no one owes us anything and if we get some help along the way, we should appreciate it. I don't depend on any man or woman for that matter for anything. If I need help in something however, I will ask for it from whomever I feel is the most reliable whether it be male or female. My mechanic does happen to be a male and so yes, I guess i do rely on him when I need work done to my car. There was a time years ago that I had a friend that was a whiz at working on autos. it's ot a gender thing but truthfully, most mechanics are men. I pay for that so I don't know as it would be considered "depending" on. I'm single and I've raised my kids on my own and I don't depend on help for that thankfully or we'd be hurting more than we are. I depend on my boss to pay me each week and he's a man. There are some things that if I needed help with that I would ask a man. Like really soon, I'll need to be removing my really heavy airconditioner. I'll probably enlist the help of my son-in-law. Men do help me at times..so do women but I don't feel that I depend on them.
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
12 Sep 11
No I am not dependant on a man but I do notice that men (still) like women who are the most. They need the feeling someone is needing them. It is not only part of the culture, it's still normal in every culture/society. The only thing that seems to be changed is that many men don't care if they don't need to pay for the bill or love it if they can keep their money to themselves and also are consuming your money. I don't think men are right about a lot of things, I do believe men see the world different as women do. They don't live in the same kind of world, which is fine with me. I feel comfortable relying on a man too, but also on a woman. I don't value the opinion of men more since they are not able to see the world from a woman's point of view. I value each person's opinion the same, no matter yound, old, male, female, kid or handicaped since they are all helping me to see the world and her problems see out of different point of views.