Realized that some expressions can be taken really wrong.

@Hatley (151962)
Garden Grove, California
April 3, 2012 3:01pm CST
I can not mention user names here but I reread a discussion and realized that a lot of my friends or some I thought were my friends took the expression "Its NOt B rain surgery" to mean'I thought they were dumb or stu pid.I never said that,I never implied that or so I thought. anyway that was how people took it and I am making a formal apology to all my friends. The one I hurt the most I wanted to send a private message to giving my apology but either we were never friends,which I thought we were,or she unfriended me.So this is my apology for being thoughtless in not realizing that the expression could be taken to mean I thought my friends were dumb or stupid.I did not know any other way to contact all so wrote this for what its worth.I owed you a big fat apology and so here it is. this is very hard for me as I am close to tears here.
15 people like this
28 responses
@sishy7 (24675)
• Australia
3 Apr 12
What did you actually try to imply when you say that? I'd interpret that as telling me that it's not something too complicated to do. I can understand why people took it as being told that they are dumb for not understanding something that is simple. Still, realizing what you did and doing something to mend that is quite commendable.
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 12
hisishy I was trying to imply that picking out a best response should not be a stressful unpleasant task and that they should trust themselves to pick the best respnse according to their perception now I feel badly for having hurt others feelings.
5 people like this
@GardenGerty (87554)
• Marion, Kansas
3 Apr 12
Hi, Hatley!!! Maybe we should all resort to saying things the long way. It still may not make everything clear, but we would earn more, right?
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
3 Apr 12
She was not so much struggling to give a BR but she had a specific question that she was looking for an answer for.
4 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32273)
• United States
3 Apr 12
Context is everything. In most situations "it's not brain surgery" would make me feel as if the person was trying to say I was stupid. However if they were commenting on something specific, that didn't so much deal with me then I'd take it in the latter context. I am sure they will forgive you, after all it's hard to see facial expressions over the internet and we are all bad at misinterpreting.
4 people like this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 12
hi somecowgirl yes nobody couuld see I was smiling and lau ghing as in our o wn family this was ju st a joke thing meaning don't fret over the problem as you did your best so just lighten up. we never took it as meaning you are dumb or stupid. live and learn.I just meant do not fret so over it just give it your best shot.I hope they will forgive me as one was hurt and I think she either unfriended me or was not on my friends list although I really did respond to her a lot.I had wanted to send her a private message and was told she had to be my friend first. so now have asked to be her friend.I do not know if she will accept me but I so wanted to privately ask her forgiveness for having hurt her most intentionally. I fell so badly about the whole thing.
3 people like this
@bunnybon7 (30960)
• Holiday, Florida
4 Apr 12
so asorry Hatley. it got all out of proportion. please accept my apology also. im so ashamed not knowing it was all a joke
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (30960)
• Holiday, Florida
4 Apr 12
btw, you can stop talking about me now
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31183)
• United States
3 Apr 12
Hatley, that was your opinion and you're entitled to it. So many people are actively looking for ways to be offended these days that if you say good morning to them they file a lawsuit. I've had people say that to me and worse. I don't take offense because they have a right to say anything they want and I was the one that made statements that inspired them to say such things. In a couple of cases it was well deserved because I wrote in haste or without all the facts. In many cases I deserve to be called dumb but I'm not. When people imply I'm dumb or say other hurtful things I either consider the source or accept it as the price of being part of the faceless internet where no one can hear voice inflections or read your face. Don't cry and don't feel bad! It's just part of internet life and that person evidently has not taken the time to truly know the kind of person you are or they never would have assumed you meant they were stupid.
4 people like this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Apr 12
hi dragon I never meant that that I thought they were dumb or stupid. I just thought to lighten up things by saying its not that hard to do and you should not stress over picking out a best response.But I am told that "its not brain surgery" is taken to mean the person is dumb or stupid. it was used as a joke in my family meaning only don't stress so much as you will do fine in picking out a best response.So I decided to apologize and be oh so careful from now on and assume people will take offense easily.
3 people like this
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
3 Apr 12
I think part of the misunderstanding came because she was asking a question about the best response and was not stressing over it and a lot of people, myself included did not answer the question she asked. It was just a big fat misunderstanding.
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 12
yes sid I realize that now and I feel really bad that she deleted me as a friend and I wrote an apology to her and lo and behold I was told she had t o be my friend first. so either I was mistaken and she was never on my friends list.i just always responded to her posts as I liked her so much. I am so sorry that it all got misunderstood and she got hurt as you are right Inever intended to hurt anyone. thanks Sid for telling me about all this. I feel bad that I was so misunderstood. all I can do is apologize.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (44524)
• United States
3 Apr 12
I'm sorry this has resulted in something bad for you Hatley. I would have taken it the same way though. Anyone who said that to me I would have thought was calling me dumb. Or sometimes people say it in a self-depracating way which is totally different. Maybe that is what you meant.
4 people like this
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
3 Apr 12
I would have taken it that way too, Ambie and mainly because whenever I've heard the saying used, it has been meant that way. Hearing Hatley's explanation, I understand her view also. Perception is all about personal experience.
5 people like this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 12
ambiepam an sid now I am wondering lol no my son loves me and when he says that to me I know he is not thinking I am dumb or stupid,lest I hope not?, so that expression will stay in the family and not be used out here where all think it means something entirely different. Perception is indeed all about personal experience and I must be more careful not to use old expressions that while okay in my own family are not good in the pub lic at all. so ambiepam and sid just please accept my heartfelt apology and let us go on peaceably again.
1 person likes this
@jjzone44 (917)
• United States
3 Apr 12
Hi Hatley, I don't know what conversation you are referring to, but if you said that it did not offend me one bit. Like the one respondent said, some people are just looking for a reason to be upset. Discussions always involve different opinions to some degree, or we would not have discussions. You expressed something that maybe wasn't correct and you stepped up and apologized, and that's all you can do. That's a difficulty with words on pages; words cannot convey emotion too well. One can use "strong words" but you can't see the emotion on the writers face, nor can you gauge their temperament at the time.
3 people like this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 12
hi jjzone44 well I made the error of using a family teasing term that we used to show we felt the other person was stressing out unnecessarily over something that was easily done.but here it was misunderstood and people thought I was calling them stupid or dumb and that never ever entered my mind at all. right we cannot see the users face or we would better understand what he or she really meant.so now all I c an say is I am sorry and i do apologize to all of you and ask for forgiveness.
@jjzone44 (917)
• United States
4 Apr 12
Hi Hatley, You're right that's all you can do. I'm certain that you did not mean anything negative by it. Anyone who knows you would know that for sure. Be well my friend!
2 people like this
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
4 Apr 12
These old sayings can be dangerous. The one I described above about "sight for sore eyes"? Well When i was a kid, I remember walking in the house after a hard day's play and I'd be covered in dirt and my pants torn, skunned up knees and my mom would " Oh my girl, aren't you just a sight for sore eyes!! Why can't you be like those other girls?" I really found that saying quite insulting . My mom was in no way sayin I was pretty.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (87554)
• Marion, Kansas
3 Apr 12
You are not in the wrong here, but this just shows how communication online goes sometimes. It is good to apologize if we realize someone is hurt. . . not because you meant to be hurtful, but you are sorry that it hurt, anyway. In addition to not being able to hear tone of voice or see faces or read other meanings, if we are having a bad time in our life anyway, we may be more sensitive. There is a saying somewhere about not knowing what burden someone is carrying that day.
3 people like this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 12
hi gardengerty the fact is I should have realize after all bunnybon has been through that she would be super sensitive to a lot but I hope she realizes I did not ever mean to hurt her at all and that I had always thought my expression was just teasing not meant to say anyone was stupid or dumb. I thought it wou ld be taken as a teasing lighthearted way of saying relax youo will do just fineand I d ont think I ever really singled her out at all. but anyway I am sorry for the misunderstanding.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (30960)
• Holiday, Florida
4 Apr 12
thanks GG for letting me know about this discussion and fixing up our online friendship. its appreciated. hugs, bon
3 people like this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 12
hi bunnybon only four weeks late sorry folks.hugs from hatley
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (59910)
• United States
4 Apr 12
I can see why it could be taken that way. Generally speaking the term means that the thing to be accomplished isn't that hard, but some people use it to mean that the task it so simple even a dumb person could do it. When I say it I generally mean that the person isn't doing the task for some other reason than it is hard but lying to themselves that they aren't doing it because it is. I suspect that this person isn't doing whatever for that reason, and taking insult because they KNOW its true. Nothing upsets a person more than to be caught lying, especially to themselves...
3 people like this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 12
hi ElicBxn yes I can too now but when my son teased me with that he even said"mom you can do this as its not brain surgery meaning he felt I was much smarter than I thought I was. so naturally I thought other people would grasp that meaning but instead I was woefully misunderstood and by people whom I never wanted to hurt at all, I feel they were very intelligent really.So all I can do is apologize and strive to communicate in my own words without dumb expressions that can be misunderstood. after all I have a good enough vocabulary for that.sorry everyone and I will strive to explain things in my own words.and be more careful from now on too.
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (59910)
• United States
4 Apr 12
I remember meeting a writer who's parents were a rocket scientist and a brain surgeon, so, if she said "it's not rocket science" or "it's not brain surgery" well, she knew of what she spoke... In fact, she had followed in her father's shoes and was well on her way to being a rocket scientist and that was after she had finished medical school... Never did figure out WHY she was writing fan fic instead of the real stuff...
3 people like this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 12
hi elicbxn wow they really would know .I know a number of real doctors who wrote novels too.So she was an MD and also going to be a rocket scientist. what brainy people wow.Maybe it was to get away from her real work that she wrote fan fiction.
2 people like this
@carmelanirel (21108)
• United States
4 Apr 12
Oh no, I'm sorry Hatley, that you lost a friend..:( I think I remember that post, though I can't recall if I replied, but it was more than likely that I had nothing to say rather than being offended. But I also don't think you meant it that way either, so this friend took it wrong, which is easy to do online..
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 12
hi carm yes and too this friend has been through a lot offline with cancer surgery so she might be feeling uptight too. I did not mean that to suggest that anyone was dumb or st upid, I never used thos e words, and my whole emphasis was on why stress picking out a best response, I did not suggest it was not important but at my age I have seen a lot of more much more important things like losing a job,like being evicted, like being homeless so to me picking a best response should have been something more fun to do , more relaxing than stressing. I am so sorry I have offended my friend s and I am apologizing the only way I know how. It was simply a misunderstanding and I never meant anyone to thinkI f felt anyone was stupid or dumb.
2 people like this
@jujunme (2316)
• United States
4 Apr 12
Hi Friend:When we hurt someones feelings unintentionally, all we can do is apologize and hope the other person accepts it in good faith. Knowing you for quite awhile now,i'm sure you weren't calling anyone dumb or stupid,but i do understand how the comment may have been taken the wrong way as some people are overly sensitive and it may take time for them to realize just what you meant by the comment. it takes a big person to apologize in an open forum as you have done so,try to let it go and please don't shed anymore tears over this.
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 12
i am feeling better as I always apologize if I have hurt anyone unintentionally.I hope they all take it the way its given. I am truly sorry that anyone got the idea I thought they were dumb or stupid.it was not meant that way,I was just trying to say picking out a best [response should not be unpleasant or stressful but just fun and part of mylotting.I was misunderstood and for this I am truly sorry and ask forgiveness. that is all I can do really. u
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
4 Apr 12
Hatley, I do know how you feel about feeling bad about hurting others and especially when you totally did not mean to. This really hits home for me because last night on a different forum...a local one. People were remembering things about growing up in this town. Someone mentioned something about a place that triggered a very vivid memory that I had shared with my friend in that place. We were about 16 and at the time it was not funny at all but one of those things that I look back on and giggle over. Well it didn't take her but a few minutes to see it and I got a couple of fairly harsh e-mails. I felt horrible. We just looked at the same incident differently. While I thought it was funny, she said it was a memory she just soon forget and was quite upset that I posted it publicly. Luckily I was able to get it removed and I don't think too many if any saw it. I am still feeling bad though.
2 people like this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 12
hi sis yes I really do understand and I had not gone back to that discussion so I did not realize I had hurt bunnybon and I do know she had been through so much anyway in her offline life. I really totally did n ot mean too as it never occured to me how people would take that expression.I do feel horrible as I had no idea how that was taken at all.so now all I can do is apologize.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
4 Apr 12
I think she understands. It looked to me like she took a break from the discussion and came back in better spirits. I think she thought about it and realized that it was probably just what it was ...a misunderstanding. She knows you and knows that you would never deliberatly hurt her and so do I. Even if you said something that I took wrong, I think I'd quickly realize that you could not have meant it how I took it and it'd be all ok. You apologized and now you have to take your own advice and stop worrying so. I know...easy for me to say and I'm still feeling bad about my friend and she has told me she isn't mad anymore.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (55218)
• India
5 Apr 12
I now know why things went out of hand...presence of blonds is always like adding water to sulphuric acid, righto blondie?
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Apr 12
Hi Hatley, Honestly, whenever I hear that particular statement I roll my eyes. Of course something other than brain surgery is not brain surgery, that's like saying something is not rocket science. I never take offense to something like that, but then again, in the past years it's gotten pretty hard to offend me. I always get a little curious as to why people get so offended by that statement. After reading your response as to what you were talking about, I'm kind of side eying the person who got so offended they defriended you...sensitive much? It was just a misunderstanding, and really I personally don't see you having any reason to apologize for a statement that people say all the time and doesn't really mean anything. If someone took that as meaning you were thinking they were stupid or dumb, that's on them.
2 people like this
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
3 Apr 12
I don't think she de-friended Hatley at all. I don't even think she was that upset by the end of the conversation. I think they probably just were not officially friends anyway. That happens to me all the time.
3 people like this
@wittynet (4113)
• Philippines
4 Apr 12
Hatley said she cannot send a message, and there's a need to add her as a friend first. She thought they were already friends. I also had the same discussion wherein Hatley also emphasized that I should not take so much time thinking whose response is the best. Let me take a look again if she mentioned brain surgery. I can't recall any. This discussion was posted so many months ago. It's definitely not my discussion for I sent Hatley a friend request I think two weeks ago.
2 people like this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 12
hi wittynet I think perhaps I just thought we were friends as we did respond back and forth a lot and so I just assumed she was on my friends list. I know sid someone else asked to be my friend and told me they had just assumed I was on their friends list so yes that probably what happened but I just wanted everyone to know I never ever intended to imply that I thought any of you were stupid or dumb?so am sorry for how it turned out. I do not berate anyone for taking a long time to pick a best response as its such a personal thing all I said was I just thought we should not stress over it.anyway please can I be forgiven for misunderstanding and being misunderstood? sorry
1 person likes this
• China
4 Apr 12
I have no idea why you had a guilty conscience about that word.Even though I am not sure if "Its not brain surgery" means what one is doing isn't the most difficult thing in the world,but I don't know why some understood it to mean that "they are dumb or stupid".
2 people like this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 12
hi chang I had the same feeling as you but so many tell me people use that to put someone down,. In my family it was used as a loving joke meaning do not stress the small stuff like making a best response as its not as hard as say looking for a job. but since nobody has a sense of humor and just looks for intended hurts I do apologize as I did not intend to make anyone think I felt they were stupid or dumb at all.
• China
5 Apr 12
Not every idiom can be construe in a number of different ways.I think some surely distorted what you said,so there is no need for you to take it to your heart.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 12
hi chang again i have missed some responses. sorry but am now catching up. I am over it now and have moved on.
• Pamplona, Spain
4 Apr 12
Hiya Hatley, I was reading what dragon said and I have to agree with her. I have not seen your discussion about that and I would not have taken one bit of notice. Life is way too short for silly things don´t you think. Like dragon I have been called much far worse things than that in personal life (grin) so what am I going to think of something on the Internet? In fact I had not heard of this expression or its meaning well now I know if I hear it around. Don´t worry so I will try to read that discussion afterwards Hats if I can and I have to get off here yet again. I just do not have the time for me on here why don´t I go on strike.xxx
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 12
hi lovinganges instead21 I am just not going to use that expression as everyone but me thinks its mean and derogatory when I meant it as teasing but nobody else took it that wa y.I apologize for making anyone think I thought they were stupid. from now I will use my own words and make sure people get the meaning.
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
5 Apr 12
Hiya Hatley, Hatley we can all make mistakes and no one is free from them. Actually I could not find that discussion in particular so I left it at that. I did try to find it in discussion I have started page but after wading through a few I decided it might have a different title to what I imagine. Very busy you see Hats. I have just finished feeding the Dog after having come back from a really long walk and he was so tired. I had to wake him up to eat lol now he has eaten the whole lot but only because I insist this is one special Dog I have I can tell you. Hope you feel much better and calmer now I am going to relax nows Hats as "Quo Vadis" is on with Peter Ustinov as you know in the Holiday times they usually put a lot of rubbish Films on but this is a real classic and one of the very few worth watching don´t you think. Hugstya Hats cheer up now.xxx
1 person likes this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 12
hi lovinangelsinstead21 oh yes after all this time I am fine but feel sad that i did not get back to all the responses after all. I do try but still miss home. Oh I loved QuoVadis a real classic.Your dog sounds like fun lol lol.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (111378)
• Boise, Idaho
4 Apr 12
As usual I didn't know any of this was going on. I hope you got it all straightened out. I would not think you would ever say anything to anyone to hurt them. But that is just my opinion of who you are. Again, I hope this all gets straightened out.
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 12
hi celticeagle I used the term is isnt brain surgery meaning we sho uld not get tied in knots trying to decide the best responsebut this one person thought I mean they were stupid to be so upset over trying to pickout best responses. I apologized and finally the perso who I least of all wanted t o hurt accepted my apology and all is well now.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (111378)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Apr 12
It does take all kinds to make a Mylot site doesn't it? Some seem to be looking for something to come unglued about. While others don't get it anyway.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
10 May 12
I know but as my mom u sed to say the world would be really boring if we were all just alike and of course she was' right as could be.Yes some even here do not get it like the one user who asked me what my discussions was about when it was titled something like making discussions is a great way of earning more if you remember to also comment back on all the responses as I tried to explain to him what I meant. lol
1 person likes this
@offkey (313)
• United States
4 Apr 12
A sarcasm font needs to be created for some situations, I just wanted to say I wasn't part of that decussion, but depending on my mood, like if I were feeling down at that moment it would have upset me. Because I have always taken that comment "it's not brain surgery" to be demeaning, like you feel the person is making it out harder then it has to be, sometimes things dont come as fast or as clearly to others. You know that though, it is very big of you to "publicly" apologize to the people/person.
2 people like this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 12
hi pffkey all I was tr ying to do was suggest p eople make the task of picking a best response into something stressing and monstrous and I was suggesting its not that hard to do.but my use of brain surgery was done in more a teasing way but most people here evidently have no sense of humor at all. I apologize and will use my own words, to make best responses is not as hard as trying to find job for example.I never intended anyone to feel I thought they were stupid or dumb.Each of us has our own way of doing anything here in mylot so I guess if one wants to take a month to figure out a best response then go to it.But I do apologize as I did not intend to call anyone stupid or dumb so forgive me so I cam put this behind me.
@offkey (313)
• United States
8 Apr 12
Things get "lost in translation" online, perhaps adding a smiley or lol would have been a good thing to do. Sorry to say but you are still coming off as rude by suggesting that "people here evidently have no sense of humor" just because they didn't catch on that you were joking. Why do you care so much about others choosing or not choosing a best response? I do not need to forgive you as I was not the one you offended, it's over you apologized move on.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 12
hi offkey If I gave youthat opinoopn that I cared so m uch one wa y or another over choosing best responses then you misunderstood me completely. I did not make a discussion on how easy or h ard it was t o make a br , I merely answered one and now I wish I had never done so at all. I honestly could care less how people do or do not make best responses. I just responded and am sorry I did now.' I did move on and somehow you are being a bit rude to me.I never said you were the one I offended.
@se7enthbird (8328)
• Philippines
4 Apr 12
there is a big misunderstanding here. if a friend tell you something like that and you treat that person a real friend then you should not react badly. take in as an adult. now if you did not get it then dont react too much. now hatley if she unfriend you then it is not your lost, it is her lost. i know you feel bad and a person who is as good and as gentle as you will really feel bad when a person you treat as a friend did this to you. hugs my dear... smile... there are a lot of people here who is worthy of your friendship.
2 people like this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
10 May 12
thanks se7enthbird thats so sweetof you and I feel so m uch better now that I have got things all cleared up again. I wish we all would do that as its awful to see friends fall out over some misunderstanding when it could be talked out and fixed instaead.
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 12
hi se7enthbird I did finally make contact with her and she forgave me as I did not ever want to hurt her, I knew she has been there an awf ul lot off line and did not need someone she thought was calling her stupid. I sure never meant to imply that at all. so allis well now.
• Philippines
7 May 12
that is good to hear that you made extra effort to make contact with her to explain your side. that is very sweet of you hatley. i wish every one in the world is like you. wouldnt it be wonderful? that every one who admits their mistakes will make extra effort to find that person and say sorry or atleast clear things that are cloudy? you are a good person hatley. God bless you
1 person likes this
@bagarad (7647)
• Paso Robles, California
4 Apr 12
Hatley, sometimes I think we take this more to heart and hurt more over it than the person we may have offended because we care so much. I hope she will see you apology and let you know that there are no remaining hard feelings. I hate to see you grieving over this so much, though I understand why you are. Hugs to you.
2 people like this
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
4 Apr 12
so perfect Bagarad! I think that is exactly what is going on here. I alerted Hatley to the misunderstanding when it first happened. As an outsider, I could see what was going on...total misunderstanding. I KNEW Hatley didn't mean it the way it was being taken although I could also see why it was being taken that way. In the meantime, this person seemed to have come to understand it the same way and I feel that she also KNEW that Hatley didn't mean it how she first took it. I think everyone is ok with it but Hatley at this point. And like you said, it is because she cares so much.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (30960)
• Holiday, Florida
4 Apr 12
3 of our mutual friends alerted me today about this discussion. yes id taken a break from my discussion after going back a couple times and seeing no response about my hurt feelings. i really think i take online friendship to seriously maybe.
2 people like this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 12
hi bunnybon and sid and bagarad sorry to be so late respnding here but I somehow missed this.no b unny you do not , but please remember I am a human being so like all of you i can and do make mistakes. I used an expression that was just meant jokinly in my family but it was not taken that way here so I will ne v er use that one again. as my intent was not t o hurt anyone or to imply I thought any of my friends here are stupid, not in my foggiest dreams would I have thought that. to me my mylot friends do mean a lot, they mean real friendship. thats all I knnow how to say. sorry do forgive me.
• Australia
4 Apr 12
I have to admit that I would generally tend to take it as saying someone is either not very bright or not thinking, although there are also contexts where I would see it your way. But unless it was said in the context of a heated disagreement I would hope I am secure enough in myself to either reconsider what I was saying, or just shrug it off. So although it was clearly a misunderstanding, your "friend" was probably at least half to blame by reacting so badly. Lash
2 people like this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Apr 12
hi grandpa lash I feel really badly as she is a person who in her off line life has had cancer and been ill so she is perhaps strained at times bu t I sure really never meant to suggest my friends are stupid or dumb nor did I think they were either. I think my friend is right now pretty sensitive and too we all misunderstood the question she kept asking which did not help things.thanks Grandpa lash glad to see you back here.
1 person likes this
@RitterSport (2452)
• Germany
14 Apr 12
Dearest Hatley sorry for the late reply with all the commuting to and from work..... please dont worry about this. As we come from different countries sometimes there is a difference in expressions too and you are such a great and good hearted person that I cant understand how anyone could have taken serious offense to what you said. huuuuuuuuugs to you (lots of them for sure)
1 person likes this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Apr 12
hi rittersport thanks but they did, the person I hurt is still reeling from having had cancer surgery and is tense any way and did not need anyone saying anything that could be taken as a rebuke. she took it that way and I felt so badly for her as she is one person, a friend, whom I never wanted to hurt at all.What I really meant was people should relax in making best responses and not feel all tied in knots doing it as while it gives a pat on the back nobody gets any pay for it.so just trust your good judgment, pick out the best in your eyes and be done with it. I did not mean to imply I thought anyone was stupid. sorry folks.
@RitterSport (2452)
• Germany
14 Apr 12
Dearest Hatley sorry for the late reply with all the commuting to and from work..... please dont worry about this. As we come from different countries sometimes there is a difference in expressions too and you are such a great and good hearted person that I cant understand how anyone could have taken serious offense to what you said. huuuuuuuuugs to you (lots of them for sure)
1 person likes this
@Hatley (151962)
• Garden Grove, California
10 May 12
hi rittersport the other person was still pretty fragile from aaving gone through cancer surgery lately so I felt badly upsetting her and it is all smoothed out now. we were good friends and are again thanks for your support.