Facebook woes

@GreenMoo (11842)
May 24, 2012 9:15am CST
A comment I made on Facebook this morning has been taken out of context and blown out of proportion. Someone has as good as accused me of animal abuse, after I made a tongue in cheek remark about how one of my goats makes me feel when I'm struggling to milk her. How I *feel* and what I actually *do* are two totally different things of course, and I'm quite astonished that someone doesn't realise that. It's reminded me that you must watch every word you say on the internet as there are people out there without a jot of common sense who are just waiting to jump down your throat, twist your words around and accuse you of all sorts you had no intention of implying. Has this ever happened to you? How did you deal with it? Are you the sort of person who will flame back in anger? Or do you step back and realise that the people who actually know and love you will recognise a pile of bull when they see it?
5 people like this
13 responses
• United States
24 May 12
I think you should continue to express yourself as you normally do, and ignore the judgmental people. The fact is that person was probably looking for someone to say the wrong thing so they could pounce. I would not acknowledge their comment, and probably delete it.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (104423)
• United States
24 May 12
You know this is really good advice. Do not give them the satisfaction of knowing that they "got your goat" (pun intended). People who know you know how you are, people who do not know you who believe some nut on FaceBook really need to see your grace under pressure.
• United States
24 May 12
As a writer I have to stick by my words, whether people want to hear them or not. If I felt I had done something or said something wrong I would admit it, but if I'm right I always stand by my words.
@GreenMoo (11842)
25 May 12
It IS good advice, but I feel that if I do not respond in denial, some other idiot will think that it's true! I've responded with a brief line saying that what I say I *feel* like doing and what I actually *do* are two very different things, and left it at that. There's a right sh*t storm going on over there now, as various people come out in support of one or the other of us. I have no intention of getting involved further, I'll leave them to their fun!
@laydee (12813)
• Philippines
24 May 12
OH YES! I could remember that time when I was just posting something that made me wonder here in MyLot a few years back. A few minutes before I posted, my dad and I were just talking in a good mood about how it seems that a lot of men are turning out gay. It was an honest question then I thought I would like to know what others thought about it. So I went to MyLot and types "There's an alarming increase on men becoming 'gay' these days, why is this so?" posted and slept. When I woke up, there was a huge commotion of people trying to murder me with their words. I didn't know where to start (I was a newbie then) and the comments just made me cry to bits. They were all asking "WHY IS IT ALARMING!?" "WHAT'S ALARMING ABOUT BEING GAY!?" Because of that phrase or words the whole MyLot community shot at me. There were even more harsh words given (though no swearing since it isn't allowed here THANK GOODNESS!) when I came to defend and said that I was merely wondering why... Then they'd say I was too naive to think that it's only these days.. it has been there since time-a-memorial blah blah blah... Well, aren't more of them coming out these days than before?!?! Whew! I was honestly taken a back by the comments and it was really overwhelming. I thought right-then-and-there that it would be better if I just quit MyLot!!! I didn't go to the site for a number of days, until I decided to write MyLot admin to delete that topic. When they did, I was glad. Whew!!!! Truly people go crazy even with innocent statements. It's really a jungle out there! Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11842)
24 May 12
I must admit that I'm guilty of getting irate with another myLot poster recently when I found their questions so naive to be insulting, but I do try not to make any comments that I make personal. I'm glad you didn't decide to quit myLot after that experience. I think many people would have.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (104423)
• United States
24 May 12
When I was relatively new here, I posted a comment basically saying that I did not believe that ALL people from any given country or countries were scammers, in response to someone who was saying that basically if you were not US, Canada, UK or Western Europe you were just sitting out there waiting to scam someone on the internet. Boy the OP of that discussion made my ears burn and my face red because I was so "ignorant". Well we see who is ignorant, and who has friends all over the world, and who is still here after six years, it is I. It did make me reluctant at times to give an honest opinion. Just last month I told someone I did not like the tone of voice they were using, and got the same kind of accusation of being ignorant and unwilling to learn. I took it much better as I am more experienced now. Glad you stayed Laydee
1 person likes this
@laydee (12813)
• Philippines
25 May 12
@GreenMoo - Indeed it's a good advise not to make comments that are too personal. Well, I just thought that if I left, they'd win. hehehe.. @GardenGerty - Oh yeah! That's the word they usually use "Ignorant" and "unwilling to learn" or "close-minded!" hahahaha.. Indeed! Who's here after several years?! IT IS US! hahahaha.. But still I must admit, comments like these makes my ears burn as well! hahahaha.. That's why I steer clear of topics that I don't really know about. Just to avoid the word-lashing. Thanks both for the responses!
@inertia4 (27784)
• United States
29 May 12
It seems that FaceBook being so popular, has become a playground of sorts. It also has become a place where the authorities spend lots of time on to look for predators. So given that information, it makes sense that every word is looked at as something. I don't get involved with anything like that on FaceBook. Who needs the aggravation. That has never happened to me in real life or on the internet. Just stop posting anything on FaceBook. Come here to MyLot instead.
@GreenMoo (11842)
30 May 12
I was actually posting on a specialist interest group, looking for information on a specific animal care related question.That's why I was so surprised to get such a negative response. Never mind, I shall learn from the experience.
2 people like this
@inertia4 (27784)
• United States
4 Jun 12
I think you would be better off with other sites. There are some good things being done on FaceBook, but it is so saturated that hardly anyone can find anything anyway. They are going to have to make some big changes to make FaceBook more functional.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
26 May 12
I received harsh words from my partner in that social media but I am not retracted on what she said to me. Even if those are make my name in turmoil I let it past. Facebook really some sort of misunderstood...
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11842)
26 May 12
It's very easy to be misunderstood without the benefit of body language to guide us.
1 person likes this
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
26 May 12
Yup! My friend, but I think we need to leave those people around that misunderstood something what we do...which is not actually wrong
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (29044)
• United States
25 May 12
Things like that have happened to me in the past, so I've learned to be extra careful about what I say on public websites. More often than not it happens to me here on Mylot. People can be so judgemental.
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11842)
25 May 12
I think that sometimes people just jump down your throat without actually reading what you've said fully. If they read it and disagreed I wouldn't mind nearly so much as when they go off on half a picture.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31638)
• United States
24 May 12
I would shrug it off but the problem with that is, here at least, you're liable to hear a knock on your door and a cop's there with an arrest warrant because you're mistreating your animals. I avoid social media except for myLot and a couple of private forums where I've known the people for over 10 years. I do have a Facebook account but my only "friends" are my family and a few people I've known for years and years. I'm not really into posting to the world--I'm a very private person, believe it or not, and don't need the expressive outlet. I think you have to be very careful what you post because people are sitting on pins and needles, just waiting to jump at a chance to judge others and pounce on anything they can manage to feel offended by.
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11842)
24 May 12
What really p***es me off is that I was originally posing a question on a dedicated group looking for advice! The fact that I was looking for help surely shows that I care for what's best for my animals? I suspect that this person has never been closer to a real animal than a TV screen personally.
@Absinto (2398)
• Portugal
25 May 12
People on facebook seriously are retards. Facebook is just a place where everybody posts theirs lives and others criticize them. Not to mention that people for get that what you say on a computer is hard to interpertate especially when you cant actually see if their reactions as they say it. Nobody ever sees the real context in what we write.
@GreenMoo (11842)
25 May 12
This was on a specialist group within Facebook, so I don't know this person. I really can't work out why she feels a need to comment on something if she doesn't know anything about it.
25 May 12
Don't stress yourself about it. People take Facebook way too seriously. People take the internet in general too seriously at times, so don't worry.
@GreenMoo (11842)
25 May 12
You're absolutely right!
@ElicBxn (60894)
• United States
24 May 12
I think so, but I sure do know people like that - and you just want to slap some sense into them... but they'd take that wrong too...
@GreenMoo (11842)
25 May 12
Beautifully put! I'm sure if this particular individual had read your comment she would be accusing you of ABH around now though .....
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60894)
• United States
25 May 12
Its why I mostly play games on FB...
• Canada
31 May 12
Whether I'm expressing myself in writing, or verbally, whether I'm speaking to someone face to face, or talking on the phone, whether I'm in a good mood, or angry with someone, I make it a point to watch every single word that I express. Once someone else has heard it or read it, it's out of my mouth, and outof my hands. Everyone would do well to take yours and my advice on that one.
@GreenMoo (11842)
31 May 12
It would be good practice. At least face to face there is the opportunity of also reading tone. On the internet one must take what's written at face value, and people's interpretation can vary.
@cher913 (25890)
• Canada
24 May 12
this is why i hardly ever post anything of facebook! you could, of course, post another post which said what you really meant or perhaps 'unfriend' the person, but short of that, i am not sure what your recourse would be. i hardly ever go on facebook. i take a while to reach my boiling point but then i get really angry.
@GreenMoo (11842)
25 May 12
This was on a specialist group within Facebook, so this person doesn't know me at all.
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
24 May 12
You are so right....you really need to watch what you post.. things you say or photos' you put up.....I haven't had anyone take anything I have posted and turned it around...I hardly post on Facebook though....just check things out mostly.
@GreenMoo (11842)
25 May 12
It was on a dedicated discussion group, which makes me doubly cross as this silly mare doesn't know the slightest thing about me.
@GardenGerty (104423)
• United States
24 May 12
It is too easy to misinterpret what is on the internet. I try not to post stuff that can be taken wrong, as you can never take it back once it is out there. Yes, there are people out there who just want to jump on someone else. That is one reason I do not do FB, though I have an account. I have been taken wrong here, just a little and wrong on another site, again, just a little. Nothing major like what you are experiencing.
@GreenMoo (11842)
25 May 12
If you removed some of the words, the sentence concerned would have been easy to misinterpret, but read as a whole it could mean nothing but what it did. Maybe she couldn't read.
@patgalca (14650)
• Orangeville, Ontario
24 May 12
This is one of the disadvantages of technology in communication, you cannot 'hear' one's tone of voice when they are voicing an opinion. Sarcastic comments and jokes can be taken seriously. Sometimes I will text my daughters a reminder or something and get a "yelling" comment back. There are times when it is best to communicate verbally. In the case of forums like this the emoticons can be most helpful, but not always. What I like best about today's communication technology, especially emailing, you can communicate uninterrupted or not respond.
@GreenMoo (11842)
25 May 12
I find it very hard not to respond when I think something is out of order, but I'm trying hard!