Don't You Hate The "It's All About Me"

Friendship is all about give and take, not a friend giving and the other friend doing all the taking. I hate it when supposed friends use you as a sounding off board, you know someone to offload to, but when you need someone to offload to they ain't interested, or haven't got the time for you. You are only there to serve them and listen to them, it's a one way street as far as they are concerned. Oh I have had those friends, the poor me's, woe is me, life is unfair. You feel like turning round and saying hey I have every reason to say this because you know you've had it hard. Life is tough, life is unfair, get used to it and stop bleating about it.

I have to wonder about this issue a lot and I actually struggle with it sometimes. I do not ask for help often, but when i do many times they present all these situations.. like I am supposed to pity them enough to not ask for their help. It's happened often enough I have started paying an aid to work on their off hours to help me out. My struggle is on the other end too... Am I only worried about myself and my own situation? Am I not compassionate about what those with a "real" life are going through? It's a crazy rat race if you let it be huh?

Ah, I know the kind of people you mean. I am in a situation with a friend who wants to see me, when I get to NYC. She's saying she'll be there unless someone comes up. There are all kinds of reasons why she might not show up. I'm going to "take her or leave her." If she comes she comes, if not, OK. Mind you, I'm going to give her an RSVP date. If I don't hear from her by a certain date, I'm making other plans, and if she doesn't like it, tough crap!! If I see her in NYC, it's only because I'm already half way to Pennsylvania, where she lives. I'm not going to plan my trip around her, but if she's available, fine. Know what I mean?

I used to be "friends" with people like that. I had to stop because when our situations became reversed and I was the one in need, they abandoned me. I always tried to stay upbeat like I normally was, but hearing someone constantly whine about their "poor me" attitude would drive anyone nutty! I learned from an early age that no one wanted to hear about my problems, so I just always pretended to be happy. But I've also had to distance myself from these types of people because they sucked what little happiness I had away! And that made it easier for me to just disappear-they didn't seem to notice or care, which just further demonstrates how self-absorbed they were. And you can't really help them because they don't want to help themselves. As bad as my life has been the last four years, I've never given up. I can't even begin to tell you how many tears I have shed, but I tend to do it alone. I remember how much better my life WAS, and I'll do anything to get back to it, but I'll do it because of ME.

"It's all about me" is not a healthy tagline to carry around. It have a negative impact on oneself and to the people around them. They will never improve in their lives, and it will also be a burden to others. They should focus on what can make a better living for them so that they can financially free too. You are absolutely right.

I am lucky not to have a friend as such. I think all of my friends are really good person and never once have I experienced from any one of them who might be in that situation. But I think if there is anybody I know who can be "me, myself and I" attitude, then I would certainly not waste my time on them. Not that I am not a good person, but sometimes, that could be tiring to be always doing something for them and yet when you need a shoulder to cry on,they would just ignore you.

That's my sister.

Of course! Relationships should have a give-&-take arrangement if they are to work. I simply can't imagine friendships continuing if it's completely 1-sided all the time. That said, I find the needy party pitiful if they're unable to hash out their complaints without giving the same courtesy in the least to their 'friend.'

Maybe you need a few new friends.

I find that is I make discussions about my life and how I handle it I get many more responses from others. Some how if I talk about what I am facing or what is going on with me others identify with this and they then add their own spin on the subject. I also notice that I answer others more often if I can identify with what is going on in their lives. It's not a pity party, it's more a collection of how to live one's everyday life challenges. I find it interesting no matter what the culture is people all over the world are facing many of the same things.

I have met people like that too Tina and it is aggravating when it seems that they are blind to the issues of others and the world. I think that everyone needs to vent sometimes, but when it is all about them all the time..it can become tough to handle.

Yes!!! I know exactly what you are talking about!!I hate that and I feel the same way every time when a so called friend that has always been there for you but at the same times always complaing about their life but never really took the time to really understand what is going on in yours and they are supposed to be listening as a friend would do? Yeah right! I feel ya!

This "It's All About Me" attitude is selfish and insensitive to others. I do have such friend and colleague. I tend to not associate with them much. They only want people to put them first, consider them in all aspect. But when we need their input, they have all kind of justification and excuses. I do not expect much from these kind of people.

I do volunteer work and that is where I find most of my friends. Among those who help others. I am kind to those who are centered around themselves but I don't have time for them. It may sound selfish but my attention is focused on helping those in the greatest needs and who are truly unable to help themselves. And I have found some deep and meaningful relationships and friendships with others who help those in need. If people are self centered but can indeed help themselves, I allow them lots of space and time to get themselves back on their feet. They really don't need my help.

Yes I think we all know at least one or two people like this.. It's kind of funny when it's not annoying, or downright insulting.. We can listen no end to all their woes and daily troubles, but as soon we start to try to get something off our chest, their attention wanders, and quite obviously, as they are looking all around and not listening at all.. just waiting to get to their one topic.. their self!

right on and that people like to be negitive ALL the time

hilost my response copy grrrr. last day blu es I guess. I have \known people like that and they will go on and on. Mrs., Merritt was one of them and my hubby and I both worked with her at ?St L ukes hospital.So he wou ld suggest something she could do for her ailments and I then suggested something she could do to save more money. But our suggestions when in and out of her ears. so she would ome back with more ailments and more money problems.We got so we just avoided her when we were not actually working with her. WE team worked there. two aides to a patient and boy was it great and even the patients liked the added attention.Mrs. Merritt even talked some of them to sleep with all her own complaints.,I started at first to feel sorry for her as she was newly widowed but she never took our advice on anythingtbut still came back to us for help.My husband joked that I got pregnant when I did to avoid having to talk to her all the time but I fooled him as I worked up til a week or ten days before I finally had my baby. so I still had to endure her litany of problems and just nodded and said oh thats too bad.

Why not Tina? Why can't you say goodbye to these types? Some people will never learn to help themselves because they've learnt that it's less effort to rely on others. If they bring you down by draining your emotional energy, and you know in your heart that you've tried to help, then give them up.

Hello my friend KrauseHome Ji, Well, I am very much hopefu;l that one day your all problems will come to end. Till them solve them and have patience. Just do, what you are supposed to do. May God bless You and have a great time

I know what you mean. There are people in my life who are always busy complaining. But when you ask them to try something, they would always find excuses NOT to do it. So, I say, OK why not think about a solution on your own and then try it out. Do what you think will work for you. Then they say, I don't know what to do. I don't think there is anything I can do. You tell me what I should do. That's when you feel like telling them, I JUST DID TELL YOU. And you shot down my idea. But then I never do say that. I usually just hear them out, that's all. If they don't want to help themselves, there is really nothing that you can do really except listen them out.