How can I forgive & forget?

Hi Norfolk_Jim, Forgiving in never easy but it is very necessary. Forgetting seems to be even harder. The fact that it still bothers you means that it is hurting you. Forgiving always helps the one who forgives. If you can't work it out and it continues to bother you, seek professional help. Blessings.

Wow, not sure what to say about that. Thats pretty extreme and if I was in your position I would feel the same way. My husband did something that I have never forgiven him for either. Maybe I am wrong but I can't help how I feel. When my daughter was born, he didn't bother visiting me until the evening of the second day of her birth in the hospital. Nor did I even get a call from him. He had been sick, I guess the whole event overwhelmed him and it was BAD enough that he whined about how sick he was and whined how he had no sleep because of it considering I was the one who went through the trauma AND I was the one who NEEDED sleep and didn't get it... but he also lied about staying home and resting that day. I found out that he went to his mother's (who I despise) to set up a fund for our daughter.. mom in law is superficial and materialistic. Hubby also at that time (he is more educated now) cared only about that. This was almost 6 years ago.. but I still have a hard time truly forgiving him for this. Now listen, I have done plenty of not so nice things behind his back too, like somethings I pulled that I wasn't honest about... and I know 2 wrongs don't make a right but what he did was worse. And as far as forgiving, I have a hard time doing that to begin with. Logically I know, if you don't move on it hurts you in the end but... sometimes how can you get rid of that feeling and truly move on? I am with you on wondering how to do it too.

Wow, not sure what to say about that. Thats pretty extreme and if I was in your position I would feel the same way. My husband did something that I have never forgiven him for either. Maybe I am wrong but I can't help how I feel. When my daughter was born, he didn't bother visiting me until the evening of the second day of her birth in the hospital. Nor did I even get a call from him. He had been sick, I guess the whole event overwhelmed him and it was BAD enough that he whined about how sick he was and whined how he had no sleep because of it considering I was the one who went through the trauma AND I was the one who NEEDED sleep and didn't get it... but he also lied about staying home and resting that day. I found out that he went to his mother's (who I despise) to set up a fund for our daughter.. mom in law is superficial and materialistic. Hubby also at that time (he is more educated now) cared only about that. This was almost 6 years ago.. but I still have a hard time truly forgiving him for this. Now listen, I have done plenty of not so nice things behind his back too, like somethings I pulled that I wasn't honest about... and I know 2 wrongs don't make a right but what he did was worse. And as far as forgiving, I have a hard time doing that to begin with. Logically I know, if you don't move on it hurts you in the end but... sometimes how can you get rid of that feeling and truly move on? I am with you on wondering how to do it too.

Wow, not sure what to say about that. Thats pretty extreme and if I was in your position I would feel the same way. My husband did something that I have never forgiven him for either. Maybe I am wrong but I can't help how I feel. When my daughter was born, he didn't bother visiting me until the evening of the second day of her birth in the hospital. Nor did I even get a call from him. He had been sick, I guess the whole event overwhelmed him and it was BAD enough that he whined about how sick he was and whined how he had no sleep because of it considering I was the one who went through the trauma AND I was the one who NEEDED sleep and didn't get it... but he also lied about staying home and resting that day. I found out that he went to his mother's (who I despise) to set up a fund for our daughter.. mom in law is superficial and materialistic. Hubby also at that time (he is more educated now) cared only about that. This was almost 6 years ago.. but I still have a hard time truly forgiving him for this. Now listen, I have done plenty of not so nice things behind his back too, like somethings I pulled that I wasn't honest about... and I know 2 wrongs don't make a right but what he did was worse. And as far as forgiving, I have a hard time doing that to begin with. Logically I know, if you don't move on it hurts you in the end but... sometimes how can you get rid of that feeling and truly move on? I am with you on wondering how to do it too.

Wow, not sure what to say about that. Thats pretty extreme and if I was in your position I would feel the same way. My husband did something that I have never forgiven him for either. Maybe I am wrong but I can't help how I feel. When my daughter was born, he didn't bother visiting me until the evening of the second day of her birth in the hospital. Nor did I even get a call from him. He had been sick, I guess the whole event overwhelmed him and it was BAD enough that he whined about how sick he was and whined how he had no sleep because of it considering I was the one who went through the trauma AND I was the one who NEEDED sleep and didn't get it... but he also lied about staying home and resting that day. I found out that he went to his mother's (who I despise) to set up a fund for our daughter.. mom in law is superficial and materialistic. Hubby also at that time (he is more educated now) cared only about that. This was almost 6 years ago.. but I still have a hard time truly forgiving him for this. Now listen, I have done plenty of not so nice things behind his back too, like somethings I pulled that I wasn't honest about... and I know 2 wrongs don't make a right but what he did was worse. And as far as forgiving, I have a hard time doing that to begin with. Logically I know, if you don't move on it hurts you in the end but... sometimes how can you get rid of that feeling and truly move on? I am with you on wondering how to do it too.

Wow, not sure what to say about that. Thats pretty extreme and if I was in your position I would feel the same way. My husband did something that I have never forgiven him for either. Maybe I am wrong but I can't help how I feel. When my daughter was born, he didn't bother visiting me until the evening of the second day of her birth in the hospital. Nor did I even get a call from him. He had been sick, I guess the whole event overwhelmed him and it was BAD enough that he whined about how sick he was and whined how he had no sleep because of it considering I was the one who went through the trauma AND I was the one who NEEDED sleep and didn't get it... but he also lied about staying home and resting that day. I found out that he went to his mother's (who I despise) to set up a fund for our daughter.. mom in law is superficial and materialistic. Hubby also at that time (he is more educated now) cared only about that. This was almost 6 years ago.. but I still have a hard time truly forgiving him for this. Now listen, I have done plenty of not so nice things behind his back too, like somethings I pulled that I wasn't honest about... and I know 2 wrongs don't make a right but what he did was worse. And as far as forgiving, I have a hard time doing that to begin with. Logically I know, if you don't move on it hurts you in the end but... sometimes how can you get rid of that feeling and truly move on? I am with you on wondering how to do it too.

I'm sorry that must stink. Staying angry and carrying the resentment only hurts you though. This sounds really hokey but write on a piece of paper and burn it. There's no way to make up for it.

what she did must have really hurt you. basically because though you still live with her and are happily married to this day with her you still have not forgotten what she did.

i guess you will never forget that.. but for you to move on and wanted to have the ring that was blessed... the ideas shared previously of renewal of vows is the best and it will too help you start over with her.

i am sure she does regret doing it and loves you deeply. its just sometimes, we are only people and we do silly things and hurt those that we love unintentionally. i hope you can find in your heart to put it at the back of your mind so as not to affect your decisions and feelings for her and for your family.

i understand you on how you felt about it, it is true that wedding ring is not just a ring because it is bless by God, representing everlasting love. thats why i still keep me wedding ring. and my husband too. but maybe you dont know how your wife felt about when her wedding ring lost in the toilet, coz if im am her even though you brought me a new ring, i still cry and wish to bless again in the church the new ring you bought for me.

It is easy to forget but hard to forget.. but that is the words telling us "Move on" because if we dont and we keep on thinking about it then nothing will happen to our lives.. you might think of revenge sometimes but it will never do you any good.