To delete or not delete, that is THE question....  

I don't really like people who are spamming about ptc and money making schemes either, but I think it is more civil just to ignore most of it rather than go about reporting people all the time. I don't like 'civilian police' because it just seems like too many generals trying to decide how the war is going to go.

Honestly, the WORST of it will be caught fairly early by admin anyway - like people in direct violation of ToS posting about money over and over, but even that is more acceptable than people who go around reporting other users just because they don't like what someone said. I posted this because it seems like THAT REASON is being used more by people as a reason to complain, and it's not a valid reason.

BTW, Mylot has been going along just fine for 3 years and I hope it remains user friendly - meaning it doesn't cause new users to get fed up and leave because of trolls and people who use petty reasons to start crap. I have referred friends here who no longer post because they feel they aren't really accomplishing anything, but I have also seen friends leave because of negativity and the poor actions of a few folks determined to be jerks. It's sad to lose good, longterm, contributing members because of people who are spoilsports.

Excellent response, Sandra. I'm wondering if some of it didn't happen due to the double earnings day. I'd seen some members caution that they were concerned there might be a lot of 'worthless' and 'inane' discussions started that day by people who were trying to take advantage, and perhaps that's partly what happened. I'm not sure. I posted some on the 22nd, but I don't think it was more than normal, and I still only answered what looked interesting to me, commented back on things I had started in the last day or so, etc.

I had posted in response to a discussion about bugs that I feel if it takes 100 positive rates from users to bump your rating up one number, it should also take at LEAST 100 negative ratings from users to bump your rating down one number. I do not feel it is at all decent or fair to have negative ratings affect one much more harshly than positives bring you back up. I also thought it was odd that there was a cap for positive ratings, when in fact there ought to only be a cap for negative ratings. Why punish people who 99% of the time rate positively the way it was designed to be used? I'd rather just not rate at ALL instead of rate negatively - unless the discussion or response was REALLY not productive, made NO sense, and the poster got abusive if those things were pointed out.

One thing though, I do not take well to posters who come here and act like they are God or king of the world, and on occasion I have said something directly to those posters, causing them to cry and whine that I am being abusive. I don't think telling someone they are way too big for their britches and they need to deflate their swollen ego is being abusive, it's taking them down a notch because they need it lol.

As long as steps are taken to make it much harder for real trolls or people who try to act like victims whenever possible, this site will stay friendly for those of us who like the interaction and fun.

I'm with you on that. There are several people on here who are so condescending, and sometimes just totally out of their tree, that you just can't walk on by. But I always take them down politely, then find I get abused back, as they throw their rattle out of the pram. THEN I'll report, especially if my friends are on the receiving end. I start of slightly sarcastic and work my way up to full rottweiller mode in stages. It usually works.

Hello there Rottie, I've just replied to you in the wrong box. Now question my dear, with you, Lamby and the rabbit around all standing up as you do, why am I labelled the scarey one?

I have to agree with both of you ladies about the rating system. It definitely does not seem fair that a person can drop thirteen points overnight from being negatively rated and yet it takes months of people positively rating them to get back up to the rating that they were at in the first place. If you can drop that much in so short a time from negative ratings, then you should be able to regain the rating fairly quickly, too. Not only would that be more fair, in my opinion, but it also seems like it would do more to stop the "trolls" than limiting the amount of times that they can negatively rate you, especially if the negative ratings are more heavily weighted than the positive ones.

Purple, it doesn't work my dear, I knew instinctively one time when I had been negged and reported it immediately, it made no difference. It is more or less predictable when it happens and it is usually by someone who disagrees, as I never shout and insult. I did report it when someone laughed about negging me, their comment went but my rating was still down.

Thea, it's because you have an army at your command that you're scary!
Purple, the rating system is not fair, and now that admin are on the case, let's hope we can get something done about it. What goes down quick should come back up just as quickly. Let's hope Alice puts up a ratings discussion, if she does, follow me in, ladies!

Sandra, if she does not put up a discussion about ratings, then I hope that she at least does a discussion where we can ask questions or offer suggestions regarding things that were not covered in her other discussions. I think that would make a great final discussion in the series, because then we could address these issues once and for all. Hopefully, our suggestions and questions will help myLot to make some positive changes on the site, and I think the ratings issue is one that definitely needs to be addressed, especially since it affects our earning potential. I am right there with you on that discussion.

Sandra, have you checked out GoAskAlice's discussion about discussions, interest categories, notifications and leaderboards? I am not sure whether or not the rating system problems belong in that discussion, but it was brought up there, so several of us have addressed it in that discussion. Perhaps you would like to go there and chime in on the subject, too? I am sure that if more of us that address the issue and give our suggestions for improvements, then they will take it more seriously than if they think it is just an issue for one or two users - at least I am hoping that is how it will work anyways.

I'll probably mosey over there and add my two cents about the problem with the rating system, and maybe Alice will answer me. Not sure, but I'm glad other people see the same problem I see with the system and a ratings cap. We just need to make sure trolls have NO power at al, that's all. LOL!

You like to argue.... I like to argue... hey, did we meet in court somewhere? LOL! As opposing attorneys? I think you're right, I noticed it increasing sharply on that day, as I was here posting. Unfortunately it was a lot of friends' discussions, I'd get a notification that so and so started a new discussion and I'd try to go to it after I was done answering something else, sometimes it 'didn't exist' or it did so I'd respond, but later when I went to my 'responded to' tab, it was gone.

The avatar thing.... that is why I have had this particular one for so long. Some troll came in here and stole two of them, since they were pictures of my daughter I wasn't pleased.

I'm glad to see that you aren't petty with your reasons, but I already knew that about you. I sure hope you don't plan on leaving.

Yes, I recall the incident with the troll stealing the pictures of your daughter...I think many of us were hitting report that day.

I will say this about myLot...those of us that are friends do tend to stick up and watch out for each other...and I think that is how it should be in a good friendship.

You're right, Lamb. We've both ridden to the rescue when needed, and also received help. As you say, it's what friends do for each other. BTW, and nothing to do with the subject - loved 'The Devil Went Down to Georgia' on your profile page!

I have to agree with you, Lamb. I noticed that myLot was very quick to delete posts that were against guidelines on the double-earnings day, and it was actually a very pleasant surprise, because it helped to keep the interests from being clogged with tons of repeated posts. There were a couple discussions that I noticed were deleted and I was not sure what the reason for the deletion was, but I assumed that they were posts that were too similar to other discussions. I haven't really been on much in the past few days, but I would think that it would be a good thing that myLot now has a visible presence in the Admin "GoAskAlice" and that they are more actively cleaning up the site.

It is for the benefit of THOSE people which I wrote this discussion. I am not sure what possesses or convinces those people that they have the right to decide how others use mylot, or how it should be run, or how to perceive or interpret tos, etc but I gladly leave that up to the admin, and the ADMIN only. If they haven't come down on people, or specifically stated something in so many words, then personal interpretations are personal interpretations only and not for people to share with others as 'fact' or 'truth' lol.

While I do believe people have the right to free speech, free speech doesn't mean people can act like admin and that it is acceptable lol. Censorship (and filters) are against my personal beliefs - SELF censorship - or controlling what enters your life is fine, but censoring other people is jacked up.

Actually thinking about it mommyboo, you were trying to censor Jennys discussion when she was rather discreetly trying to say that a newbie was targetting women to send dodgy pms to by adding them as friends. She was very upset over what you said to her as you shouted at her. At least I think it was you. Then her discussion got deleted.

I wasn't trying to censor her discussion, but I am glad it's gone. She was sitting there stating what mylot is and isn't, and that was VERY VERY offensive to me, and I'm sure it was offensive to others if they saw it that way. I'm sorry she was getting rude messages from a guy but that is a personal matter, not something in which to get on a platform and spout what a site is here or not here for. This discussion didn't actually have anything to do with that one, but since you brought it up, there ya go. I told her I did not appreciate her acting like she was God, and it's not personal, I'd say the same to ANY user, even if they were my friend. She didn't get it, and she tried to say she wasn't acting like she was God... but when you say 'this site is only for this' and 'this site is NOT for that' blah blah, if you don't own the site, you have no right to say irritating and nonproductive things like that. YES I was irritated. I make no excuses nor do I pretend it was warm and fuzzy and nice.

Hello, Thea guilty of stalking, but not trolling. It took me about 2 days to go down, and 3 months to get back again, so something's wrong somewhere. And have you noticed, a lot of those who start the 'breakfast, coffee, pizza, ice cream' discussions have an 8 or 9 star? WTF?

Did you see that rubbish last night with a newbie accusing members of being antagonistic because someone had just been so rude to her on one of the other 20 discussions she'd started that day? Went in to see and it was complete Bol*ocks, but there were others jumping on the bandwagon without reading the original harmless comment. Actually that's the sort of rubbish which should be deleted as it causes trouble and is just made up for attention.

Well, stalking friends is a different animal than a 'stalker' in general. Stalkers are creepy, unwanted paparazzi type followers who serve no purpose but to annoy, frustrate, and scare a normal individual. They profess undying love and/or devotion, ply the individual with gifts, take incriminating photos, and send creepy letters, emails, texts, or phone calls detailing what they will do when they get the person alone. They are rarely dissuaded by threats of police, security officers, or restraining orders....

One thing about those repeat discussions - there are times when I attempt to search for a discussion or topic to see if there are already discussions about it,and when I find no such thing, I will start one. Sometimes AFTERwards, underneath my new discussion are a slew of 'relateds' which NOW show up! I think these discussions should show up as 'related' BEFORE I post a discussion. I think the search function is not working up to speed.

I agree that if someone gets a negative rating, I think it should show the name of the user who rated it down... that would definitely put it right out there in the open for all to see! No more schneaky deaky trollish negative ratings! If you do it, you get to shine for all of mylot to see!

Thea, I proudly admit to comment stalking my friends, although I haven't really been doing it much lately, since I haven't really been about much. I also love it when my friends comment stalk me. I agree with Mommyboo about the other kind of stalkers, though - they are creepy and can be very dangerous. I know that you are not one of those kind of stalkers, Thea, and I just love it when you stalk me.

Mommyboo, I agree that there is a flaw in the search function for discussions, and that is one of the things that I really want to address in the "GoAskAlice" series of discussions. People are allowed to tag other people's discussions, and that can create irrelevant tags on discussions. The search function is based on these tags, so if people change the tags to nonsense (which I have seen happen), then it makes it more difficult not only to find discussions that might be similar to the one that you want to start but also to find discussions related to your interests. If you do not use the "proper" tag when searching for similar discussions (and by "proper" I do not mean right or wrong but rather the same tag that other people used for their discussions on similar topics), then you will not find those discussions. However, once you have posted your discussion, then other people can come along and add tags. If they add tags that other people used, then you will see those discussions listed in the "similar discussions" area. If they add irrelevant tags, on the other hand, then it makes it much more difficult to find discussions on related topics.

I have combatted the tagging thing one of two ways - usually when I start a discussion, I give it at least 5 tags. Only 5 will show up at any given time but I always give it at least 5 because that's how it can be found initially. It also shows up at the top of the list and within 'friends' tab. Anyway, I have seen people add weird tags to discussions, like their names, where they live, a common word they say all the time, or the title of an interest or something - but you're right, these things often have nothing to do with the the discussion.

Does anybody know how many tags you can REALLY give a discussion? How does it 'decide' which ones to show upon search? Is it the ones who have been typed in the most often? Some people don't tag at all. When I respond I rarely tag unless there's only one or two tags listed or I feel the listed tags are nonsense and cause the discussion not to be seen. I don't, however, type in MOMMYBOO so my name is in a tag. lol! Some days I think that'd do more harm than good.

It will hold ten but they get pushed aside by new ones. I just put up a discussion and the 2 which first came up alongside it related to the word 'irritating' which was the first tag I put on. I will see if more discussions come alongside related to other tags there or if they will all remain irritating.

I also leave responses if I think that a member has violated the guidelines or TOS, but I do not always report them, especially if it is a newer user. I always report people that have plagiarized material either off the Internet or this site specifically, but I do not leave a response when I do, because they obviously know that they copied and pasted the material from another source. That is stealing, and it is illegal. Benny, you are right that not only does myLot ask us to report things that we think are violations but also they are the ones that decide whether or not it really is a violation not us.

yeah its mylot that ultimately decides so there is no harm in reporting discussions that you think are againist the terms and conditions as if they aren't mylot won't delete it

if they are then mylot will delete it

so no real issue to be honest and I will never rate negatively just like to adhere to mylot and they ask us to be vigilant it also means if discussions which are not appropiate get deleted people will think twice about posting things which go againist the rules,

Where as if they never get deleted people will continue to post them as they know nothing will be done about them.

You know, I have never even thought about negatively rating the ones that I report for plagiarizing, although I do think that those are the ones that deserve to be negatively rated, especially when I can provide the link to the original article (which is the only time that I will ever report for plagiarizing, by the way). I guess that I just figured that myLot would suspend or delete their account if they continued to steal other people's work, so I never felt the need to negatively rate them.

I really don't feel the point of me being here is to report people. Unless something is really and absolutely wrong (like a troll) or something similar, I leave policing to the admin. We have the right to 'bear arms' but we don't have to fire them lol.

Ok, I DO agree with reporting for plaigarizing because it hurts the owner of the original content. Oddly enough though, I have not SEEN much of this around mylot. I have heard from friends whose information GOT copied and pasted. I suppose people taking avatars or photos are just as bad....I guess I just want to make sure there are steps in place to prevent spite from being a reason people report or rate down. I think there needs to be a warning put out there that if your intentions are bad, YOU will be the one reported, or suspended for your spiteful actions.

That might cut down the reports that are not actually 'legitimate'.

thats cool, but with thousands of posts everyday here on mylot the admins have asked every member to help police it.

Am sure you will agree we don't want the site becoming full of spammers ??

we can report someone but again the power is not ours, if their is something wrong in our eyes and you report it the admins may or may not deem it to be in violation.

I never report out of spite as thats pointless and I never rate negatively just for the sake of it though there are a lot that do.

Its upto every member whether they help maintain the site a spam free zone or whether they leave it to someone else to do it.

The point I am making is whatever we do report or not the final decision is left to the admins to delete or not to delete so if people adhere to the rules then they won't get a post deleted.

This is a quote made by GoAskAlice in her discussion about discussions, interest categories, leaderboards and notifications: "Not everything that is reported gets deleted. Every report is reviewed by a real person.

Finally, discussions, responses, comments, photos, tasks, etc. do not have to be reported to be deleted. Just because something was removed doesn't mean it was reported. We do keep an eye on things just as you said."

That is proof from an official myLot representative that not everything that gets reported gets deleted and at the same time not everything that gets deleted has been reported by members. Therefore, there is no reason why someone should not report something that they think is a violation, especially if it is a more serious violation.

I just don't like people who engage in tattle type behavior, and this really goes back to the spite thing. It doesn't seem like you're like that but this discussion is really pointing towards the people who are. There ARE some here, and some of them have probably even viewed this discussion. I doubt any of them have answered it.

I also am not a big fan of spam, but I just don't go about reporting things or telling people 'don't talk about money' or whatever just because I can. I still don't think that's the gist of why I'm here. I also prefer to let people hang themselves - for instance, if you want to ride a dirtbike without a helmet, I say do it. I would never do it but I don't think it's worth the hassle of arguing and fighting with and fining or attempting to prosecute or arrest someone who is intent on maybe busting their head open. I say let them. I have this approach towards most things - with any legal adult. What is the point of protecting people from themselves? Isn't life full of natural consequences? If you make a bad choice, you get to live with it. Not be beaten over the head by well intentioned people who are aiming to make your life better lol.

totally agree with you there mr owl,

The duplicate post thing needs to be addressed. I believe this is NOT intentional, and unless I see some post duplicated multiple times in the same thread, or a post comment that seems identical to one I saw in another thread, I think it's due to webpage error. If your post doesn't POST so you refresh the screen, sometimes it double posts. That isn't a user's fault and to report such a user is rotten.

One thing I DONT like here are all the discussions about PTC or making money, and personal messages in my inbox about PTC or making money but I figure I can just NOT go in those discussion interests, you know?

It's not so much a personal gripe as it is a general notice that it's not necessarily the obnoxious postings which have been disappearing, but just LOTS OF POSTINGS in general without any reason being given to anybody about why they are disappearing. I hardly have time to view more than maybe 50 discussions in a day, most times it is many fewer than that, so it's just kind of frustrating if a quarter of the discussions you answered (which seem like average everday discussions) are missing when you log in again. How am I supposed to realize it was a duplicate or had the same key words as another discussion - I chose to answer THAT ONE and I didn't even SEE the other one..... (if that's one of the reasons for deletion). I check the top for the day, the hot, and the friends started. Sometimes I go off the friends started section FIRST.

I'm just not vindictive and into drama - I don't need to ruin somebody's day just because I CAN. I always think - just because you CAN, should you? There are lots of things that push the envelope of decency that people do without thinking about whether they should or whether they just do it because - by golly - if I wasn't supposed to do it, then it wouldn't be able to be done... blah blah blah. Wrong.

Bad intentions are like the beginning of a natural disaster - you don't see it coming until it's too late to run.

It just seemed that recently, somebody was targetted because of an assumption and not because they actually posted anything that was against the ToS. That is what led to me being suspicious that either there were spiteful users reporting the person, or someone in admin who 'had it out' for that person. I have no actual proof of either thing happening, but cirumstances led me to believe it could only be one of those two things. I don't know why, to make a long story short there was a discussion - with nothing bad in it - and then it was gone, the person posted responses in a few discussion, THOSE discussions disappeared, and shortly after that the person couldn't post any more.

We all know that actual TROLLS will continue to come back and keep being nasty as many times as they can. If a user runs into trouble and then comes back and wants to post, I believe they have every right to be treated as everybody else - UNTIL such time as they post something bad. Just to 'evict' them again without any burden of proof is harsh and I do not believe 'in the spirit of mylot'.....

I've actually seen or heard of this happening more than once, I don't know why, but MORE than once is a yellow flag. Doesn't this bother anybody else?

I don't think it would be happening as often if users minded their own business. I'm not talking about NOT reporting things like troll behavior, stalking (the bad kind), or total spam and discussions that don't make any sense and aren't readable, but aside from that, why worry about it? I see discussions related to earnings all the time, and I hardly ever see any of them deleted. I answer some of them occasionally. I also think that while admin deletes some things on their own, they DO count on reports from users, so with the trickle down effect, some things ARE only getting deleted because users are 'tattling' on other users. I don't even tolerate tattling from my kids - or OTHER kids. I think it is pretty low for kids to tattle on each other and lower than that for ADULTS to tattle on each other. As far as kids, that means they ALL get punished, and usually they learn just NOT to do it at all. Then there is peace....

I mean, even the average nasty troll takes awhile to be stopped, and that's after multiple reports from the users they are attacking. It's fishy when someone who isn't a troll has things deleted and there's nothing in the posts that raises any flags.

In response #4 on the Admin For A Day discussion regarding discussions, interest categories, leaderboards and notifications, GoAskAlice says (and I quote): "What's your favorite color" or "I'll start a story and you keep it going" or "Do you buy socks" type discussions "should be reported and deleted. They qualify as poll or game discussions and they add no value to our community."

MyLot not only asks us to report these type discussions but encourages and wants us to report them, because myLot feels that they are of no value to the site or this community. Therefore, Mommyboo, I am not sure why you would object to other users doing what myLot asks them to do. You do not have to do it, but surely you cannot condemn others for following the rules and doing what they are asked, especially since they are helping to make the site sustainable for all the users.

I haven't been reading all of those discussions, purple. I've been a member here going on 2 years now and I have NEVER been one of those people who constantly goes about looking to report anything. I have probably reported something a HANDFUL of times - I'm talking less fingers than I have on one hand. It takes too much effort to go about doing that unless it's a troll. I rarely even see some of those categories of discussions you named because like I mentioned elsewhere, I go off the top, hot, and friends started. Most of the people I interact with constantly are good writers, they start great discussions or give interestng thought provoking responses. I mean it when I say I don't see many 'what's your favorite ice cream flavor' discussions. I might SEE one but I don't click on it and read it....

Basically I don't worry about what I don't come across here. I have been here long enough and am comfortable enough with the site to know how to find what I enjoy and how to easily avoid what I don't, and it doesn't interfere with my enjoyment of the site. I don't think I need to start trying to have things removed when I never see them anyway and therefore they don't cause any friction or remove any functionality. I mean it would be NICE to not suddenly see a response from someone in one of your discussions written completely in a different language, but perhaps this site needs a language translator option for someone who is literally learning English from browsing online....

I'll just respectfully disagree with you - because I am neither admin nor am I police, and until such time as I actually hold either of those titles, I don't need to muck up my life or those of others by playing God. Once in awhile if a situation warrants it but not constantly. Again, that's not why I'm here.

Honestly, I do not go about looking for these discussions either. I like to respond to discussions in my "friends started" tab, but sometimes I am in the mood to respond to things from other users related to some of my interests. That is where I run into these types of discussions. If it were just one or two, then I am sure that I would not notice it just as you don't. However, when I open an interest category and almost the exact same discussion is repeated no less than three times in the first two pages, it is rather difficult to overlook.

I respect your point of view and your right to not report these things, especially since you do not encounter them very often. I also appreciate the fact that you have stated that you do not think that I am one of the ones that goes around reporting out of spite. That is true, and I would much rather engage in some playful banter or have an intelligent debate on an issue (such as the one we are having here) than report people for trivial things. I have fun with the first two but take no pleasure in the latter one. However, I do think that there are legitimate reasons to report discussions or responses, and not everyone that reports is doing it out of spite or just to be nasty. In fact, I really like the fact that you agree to respectfully disagree. I think that we have once again just proven that people can not only disagree in a respectful manner but also acknowledge the valid points in the other person's view.

Purple, you are one of the people here whom I love talking with in discussions =) This site is more than anything - a place to write and express things. I ramble a lot so it makes sense that I'd enjoy talking to someone else who writes a lot too. I also don't think disagreements are reasons to not enjoy someone, everybody has different opinions about things but that's okay. People are from all different countries here too, and often different cultures. There are things I've learned about here that I'd never learn otherwise. I don't always like what people do but big deal, it's not like they control what I do lol.

No, it's not necessarily about me. What CAN be and IS frustrating is if you post in various discussions and then you go back to 'discussions I've responded to' and sometimes you don't see some of them. You lose what you would have earned or earned - as well as the responses themselves - if any discussion you posted in went caput.

I oppose people all the time. Unlike SOME people, I do not believe that in itself is EVER grounds for someone to rate me negatively OR report me, OR try to get me to shut up or delete my discussion. If someone did something along those lines, I would think they were a very disrespectful, rude, and immature person who couldn't deal with a plain difference of opinion and were so insecure that they didn't want another view out there in case it 'converted' other people so they no longer agreed with them lol.

I have been attacked a couple of times but usually it's someone who has already come unglued on others, or plain and simple - a real troll whose main objective is just to piss off everybody, equal opportunity.

The biggest thing that offends me is people who are equal to me trying to pull rank. That's all. I don't appreciate any user here telling another user how or how not to do something, or using their own interpretations of things to state as FACTS. It's not a fact, it's how THEY see things. That's all. As long as it is phrased 'this is only MY opinion', then it's fine. Saying 'this is fact' is a blatant lie and I will do whatever I can to blow anything like that wide open so that new people are not misled or told to believe someone who really knows nothing.

Mommyboo, I can understand your frustration if the information being given is incomplete or incorrect. If a more experienced user is trying to help a newer user understand the guidelines and TOS of the site, however, how would that be a bad thing? A lot of what you are speaking about is being addressed by GoAskAlice in her discussion regarding discussions, interest categories, leaderboards and notifications. This is another quote by her from response #4 in that discussion:

"I've also noticed that there are some wonderful members here who try to guide the users who might be going down the wrong path to the right path. Members helping members is probably the most productive way to tackle this."

If a representative from myLot is stating that users helping and guiding other users is a good thing and the right way to handle these types of situations, then who are we to judge them?

If the user really didn't know, I don't see a problem. What I have seen on occasion though is older experienced users more or less 'ganging up' on somebody and then they either disappear and never post again, or they get angry and say 'leave me alone, I'll post what I want'. My objective is never to chase someone away, and I really think that people ought to read the ToS instead of just posting and saying 'tell me what I can say here' because I've seen that too lol.

I have a friend here.... and he often warns new users of things. That's his cup of tea. It's not mine. I would have expected the user to have read all the site info and learned some of the functionality before beginning to post, and I also would have expected them to browse some discussions and perhaps answer some or comment before starting their own. Maybe I'm 'out there' and maybe people do not actually do any research before jumping right in. Of course that leaves more room for error...

I guess I just wanted to give a gentle warning that we shouldn't harrass newbies - and almost ANYTHING can be seen as harrassment from a newbie. If you're new to a site, wouldn't it bug you if you were posted to by various members who had been there a LONG time, telling you how to do things, or what things you were doing that you shouldn't? I've rarely met anybody who thinks that's just a 'kind welcome to the neighborhood'. I've been a newbie before, I can put myself right back in their shoes so I know I'm not speaking out my arse. Asking if someone read the ToS is decent but saying 'you know, you're not supposed to talk about x thing. If you do it again, I'll report you' is not very welcoming.

Mommyboo, just as you have not encountered the onslaught of repeat discussions in just one page of an interest, I have never encountered more experienced users ganging up on a newer user. I guess that proves that each person's experience on here is different. When viewed in that light, however, I can understand your frustration, especially if it chases away newer users - that is not beneficial to the site.

I was fortunately enough when I was a newer user to have encountered more experienced users that gave me a few pointers on how to improve my experience on the site and get more interaction in discussions - not necessarily more responses to my own discussions, although that did come over time, but more back and forth in discussions that I responded to, which made my interactions on here a lot more fun. They were not rude nor did they tell me that I had to do it any particular way. Instead, they just gave me a few suggestions on things that had worked for them in the past, so that I would have more options and hopefully a better understanding of the site. That is the kind of guidance that I am talking about, and that is what I try to give to newer users, since it helped me out when I was new to the site.

I'm glad a lot of this stuff is coming out now, it's all in writing for anybody who stumbles upon it later =) It's true that your experience and mine are different, it's likely the same (different) for every other user here. I help people if they ask for advice, but I am careful about not sticking my nose in where it doesn't belong if nobody asked. I occasionally have problems with people offering advice or help to me that I didn't ask for, and it is very tough to get such people to trust me that I don't want it lol. I guess it's my own experience and my own 'comfort' that I use to help me decide how to treat others when it comes to this. I have never enjoyed unwanted advice, so I try not to give it to others. Now if they ASKED for it and then complain because they don't like what I said - well that's par for the course. There's no dumb questions but if you ask a question, don't get mad when the answer isn't what you expected lol.