A better place? Do you say this?

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Imagine this scenario~ Your child dies by his/her own hand. Someone you love dies in a horrific accident Someone you love dies from a long, drawn out, very painful death Someone you love dies. They just die, and you have to convince yourself to go on. This happens every single day, to many of us, all over the world. Then, when you want to retreat, reflect, think, and mourn, you are usually faced with a funeral, a lot of people you don't really know, and the people who are grieving for your loved one just as much as you are. So, why does this saying bother me so much? ''He's in a better place.'' When you are in fresh, deep grief, whether or not you are a Christian or whatever your beliefs are, this isn't something that offers any comfort whatsoever. You feel the ''better place'' is with YOU. YOU want them back. You are grieving, and you don't want to hear that at ALL. Whether it's your child, a family member, a friend...you don't want to hear that. I recently attended a memorial service for a young man who died by suicide. He came home on an unannounced leave from army service to surprise his young wife. He found his wife with another man...he left and that was it. He left parents, and siblings, friends, endless relatives...I had observed a lady talking to his mother before the service. She evidently just had to say that tired saying, ''he's in a better place'' and the mother just ran out the door. The memorial service was delayed for an hour, and that particular lady retreated. Is that one of your sayings, or someone you know says that when someone dies? I know one lady that does this. I avoid her whenever possible....I understand the person is referring to heaven as the destination. Not everyone believes in heaven, or isn't sure--the entire world is different on this. It honestly sounds like the person is promoting death when this is said under certain circumstances--a suicide, a death due to horrific violence, shooting, harsh disease, abuse... To me, there is no better place for my loved one(s) to be than close by me. If we all were so eager to get to the better place, why do we fight to stay alive, or even defend our country? We do those things because we think life is worth it. We want to be here, with our people. I won't ever hate someone who says it or hold it against them for it. I just think it could be said in a different way. If it's a child or a young person, don't say ''be thankful that you have other children'' or ''you can have another child''...one person cannot take the place of another. Not ever, it's just not possible. Say you're sorry. Say something nice about the person, to the grieving people. I have discovered that most people truly do not like ''better place'' condolences.