Do you ever feel like you are being tested?

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Do you ever wonder, why? Why is this happening, what did I do to cause this, did I cause this, how can I fix this...over and over and over again? I realize thinking like this isn't logical and some things are out of our control. I also realize I have a tendency to blame myself for things that I can't control as well. Does it make me feel better? No. Does it make the problem go away? No. I do it anyway...a habit I need to work through. Due to a medical condition, one of my legs just doesn't function like it should. Extreme neuropathy for years is taking its toll on this dumb old leg. Most of the time, I am so used to it that I just crip around and function the best I can. At this point, I don't really remember how it felt to have two completely functioning legs. Anyway....two days ago it got suddenly worse. I felt like my body was dragging around a weight tied to a log chain. Stabbing pains or no feeling at all, it alternated until I was ready to grab the nearest sharp object and chop off the offending leg. Sheesh...don't worry, I didn't try it. I hiked myself off to the doc. After a few tests, some injections, and an IV, my leg, such as it was, is back. He thinks I did too much and was on it too much...I couldn't argue as he was right. I know it will always be the way it was, but the extreme pain kicking in was more than I could manage. I am going back tomorrow, he seems to think at some point I may need a procedure or two, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it. All said and done, I'm just glad that round of ridiculousness is pretty much over. I don't like to be sick, I don't like to be in pain, and I completely hate taking pain medications. I will take the over-the-counter ones, but I have to really be in dire straits to take the heavy type of pain meds. We all have our issues at times with health...this was just a hurdle. A friend came over to help with my son while I was busy with this mess....what a lifesaver. She took time off from work to do this, I felt guilty about that. But she said she has days she rarely ever uses and she came to help out. She even went to the pharmacy to stand in the long line for the son's medication, bless her heart. It feels so good not to have that stabbing pain! Ugh. Hope you are all having a great day! Pinterest picture.