"No juice?Glower, sour face

@Hatley (164485)
Garden Grove, California
April 23, 2013 12:37pm CST
What makes some people do that? I guess its common in good restaurants to be served the juice before the beverages and the breakfast.But is it common for a person to get so upset over his juice coming after the cereal is given us that he sits there with a sour look on his face and glowers at me and shrinks down into himself,.All that emotion over a glass of orange juice.? so suddenly it is getting to me.A grown man in his eighties and he gets in a snit over orange juice? What would he do were we to have a really hard earth tremor? Run screaming from the room yelling "I did not get my orange juice? Surely somewhere in his mind common sense should tell him that getting all steamed up and stressed out is not good for anyone's health. He has glaucoma and its bothering his eyesight but still getting so upset over little things is not going to help his health, Your take fellow mylotters. I do like Steve and he can be good company at times.
9 people like this
30 responses
• United States
23 Apr 13
Given how some of the people in your building are, I suppose that at least some behavior of that sort should be expected. It may be that the issues with the glaucoma is putting him in a foul mood, or it may be that he has some other issues developing that are affecting his mental state.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Apr 13
hi wilson thats what's really so odd. The man is as educated and as clear minded as can be so I do not think hes going into senility ,. What I think is hes single,never married, set like concrete in his ways, was a business man.Also he boasted abut selling business buildings for millions of dollars when he worked in Chicago.So I think hes has had a staff at his beck and call while he was working and he unrealistically expects this staff here to kowtow just to him and forgets the other 114 of us.
• India
24 Apr 13
Mom I normally don't eat out in restaurants or hotels, but i have observed what you shared, some behave just crazy. 2 months back i ate in a starred hotel, a old man from some village probably sat in front, and probably it was for the first time in a big hotel After we ate they serve warm water with pieces of lemon in bowl to wash hands.. You know this man squeezed all drank hahaha
1 person likes this
@ajithlal (14569)
• India
27 Apr 13
I our place the restaurants are very costly and I try to eat at home as far as possible. I think some of the big hotels have different ideas like this.
1 person likes this
• India
28 Apr 13
I am aware of this my grand son, son of niece is posted in Trivendrum.
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
23 Apr 13
Is he like this all the time? My Dad is becoming more grumpier the older he gets. Due to Mum being 9 years younger - of course - she won't put up with it for any length of time. He's 76 by the way so it won't be long when he's the magical '80.'
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Apr 13
hi9 Janey I am 86 and oddly I think diabetes helpe me as I used to be a worrier and stress really can push up your blood glucose level So I learned not to stress the small stuff and most of life is the small stuff.He has been one to complain about not getting his orange juice first before his cereal since I met him so he getting grumpier too.I bet your mum does let him have it. I bet too that she will handle the 80's like a pro. lol.My family has always been long lived.I fear for Steve though if he does not lighten up a little as stress is not good for anyone I know his glaucoma bothers him as it is. I just wish he would just once in awile smile in the morning
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
24 Apr 13
Why can't they all be like you my friend? I'm trying to guess your Star Sign actually. Mmm, let's see. Leo perhaps? I'm probably way off the mark but worth a punt!
@velvet53 (17406)
• Palisade, Colorado
23 Apr 13
That is not a good way to ask. Next time he needs to tell the waitress he would like his juice brought before his food. He made himself and others miserable by acting that way. Shame on him.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Apr 13
hi Velvet WE live in a retirement center and the people who wait on us are care givers. We are very short staffed, There are only four people to give beverages and cereal and breakfast to 114 people. WE are the second table to the dining room door so he still gets his juice before most of the other residents here. I think since he's an old bachelor who worked in big business selling huge buildings for millions of dollars, So he probably had a staff that kowtowed to his every wish,. So he expects that here.That is most unrealistic here in Gold Crest. He really needs to mellow out some.
@velvet53 (17406)
• Palisade, Colorado
23 Apr 13
Yes, he does need to mellow out. I guess if a person is used to being waited on all the time they expect it forever. Tell him some of your friends sends him tons of Oh, my. Did I really do that? He needs to be told that he will get his juice when they get it to him or else no more juice for him
@Loverbear (4928)
• United States
23 Apr 13
Ahhh, welcome to the odd ole man club! One of my neighbors was that way. He would have a snit over some of the dumbest things. Even when he was in extended care he had fits about the food and called 911 to report the bad food! (that made the papers here!) I realized it was from simple boredom that they did all the complaining. Guys are used to being very active and involved in EVERYTHING. When they go into extended care of assisted living their way of live is taken away from them. They're not used to sedentary activities like reading, crafts, bingo or whatever doesn't put too much strain on their hearts. It would help Steve out a lot if there was something he could get involved in to keep him active and happy. I just got a copy of my teddy bear magazine and there was an article about a man making teddy bears...also there are articles in my beading magazines about older guys taking up jewelry making after they retire and aren't able to do the strenuous physical activities they used to do. Maybe there is something like that that we could get Steve involved in. I doubt he would go for making teddy bears....but.... even model railroading might get his interest. There are train sets that can be a complete setup that would fit on a cookie sheet! (I [b]WANT[/b one!!! I'm saving towards one. I have 6 jars that I throw change in for the "I wants" so that it doesn't come out of my living money. I will say that I wouldn't be happy about getting my juice after my cereal. I hate drinking juice after having had a mouthful of milk...it's just a taste bud thing. Steve is being the little kid like I would be about it. As an adult I've been known to sulk at times when I didn't get what I wanted.... I have to work my way out of it. You are right about the upset isn't good for his health. I FINALLY realized that myself and decided that I wouldn't get upset over the small things. It has changed my life a LOT! Plus, I get a great laugh over other people getting rabid about little things...they don't realize the energy that goes into getting that upset and how much it does take out of their bodies. Plus, getting upset like that can trigger heart attacks, strokes, asthma attacks and so much more havoc involving your body. I always look at people and ask "If you were to die right now, is this the final memory you want to leave with your loved ones? You want them to remember you having a extremely angry reaction to something in the scheme of life is so trivial that you wouldn't remember it tomorrow?" It might not change them, but it gives them something to think about. The change in my attitude has been great, I don't get upset at things that go wrong in check out lines or other places, where the person waiting on me expects me to come totally unglued at them for the problem. The look of surprise is so wonderful when I tell them that it was okay and that the problem wasn't their fault. The person assisting me straightens up and their facial expression changes from fear to relief and they smile. I get much better service from the people and Bill and I are welcomed happily into all of our favorite restaurants, stores, and theaters.
1 person likes this
@Loverbear (4928)
• United States
23 Apr 13
Sorry about the half plain text and the half bold text...I was writing this with Khuay across my wrists. It's a bit difficult trying to type with seven pounds of Siamese boy across your arms!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Apr 13
he he you just have to write that book about Khuay. Steve is really single I mean the man was never married at all.He has glaucoma so it might be affecting his moods but he gets so upset over that juice bit. I think whats mellowed me a lot is having diabetes as I have to learn not to fuss and stress over little things as it will shoot my blood sugar sky high which is not good for me.So have learned to calm down and not stress over little things, sure I would rather have my juice first but face it our juice lady is always late and it does take time to get around to half of 114 residents.He should be happy he gets his juice before most of the other residents Our table is only the second table from the dining room door. I think as he was in big business in Chicago. Iin his working days he had a staff that responded to a snap of his finger but thats not realistic here as they have four people for 114 residents at breakfast time that serve the food and drink, The kitchen staff is a bit bigger. I think steve needs to read Don't Stress The Small Stuff,. I get a lesson in mellowing out each morninbg,. l oll
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
23 Apr 13
He might be good company but it's apparent he's used to having his way all the time at home or elsewhere with his wife whom I'm thinking is deceased. She must've waited on him hand and foot in exact order of how he wants things. He must've been a real bear to live with and/or be married to. I know how long I'd put up with him.... NOT! LOL But hey, if he's good company, then enjoy that side of him while you can.
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Apr 13
hi catsanddogs nope he had never married But he was in big business when he worked in Chicago selling buildings for millions of dollars he may have had a staff who kowtowed to his every wish so the thinks this staff will do the same thing which is unrealistic considering that the staff is small and we are 114 residents here..
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
23 Apr 13
Then he better start to get used to it or find some other place to live where he can pay for someone to cater to his every dear need and when.
@JohnRok1 (2051)
23 Apr 13
It's a feature of Alzheimer's that people get upset if their environment changes from what they are used to. Steve, in spite of his culture, education and intelligence, may be in the early stages.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Apr 13
hi John oh gosh I did not want to think that but it could be,.I saw my own roomie change just suddenly from being bright and knowledgeable about history to not knowing where to pick up our mail.She did not even remember where our room was so we kept the door open so she would recognize it. I hope if he is getting Alzheimer its not as rough as Kathys has been., I think part of his trouble is that he worked in big business selling huge buildings in Chicago for millions of dollars until he was 80. so he had to have had a staff.I think he made them more or less kowtow to him and he expects our little staff to do the same thing.There are only four people to serve breakfast to 114 people not that that is Steves fa ult.
@much2say (40140)
• United States
23 Apr 13
Oh no! Does he have things to do over there . . . I mean, is he keeping active and social? I find that some people just don't have enough to occupy their minds (as they say, too much time on their hands) - so they get pickety snickety about everything. To us, getting upset over juice is just plain silly . . . but to him perhaps it's a major event in his day.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Apr 13
hi uch2say He puts me to shame as he takes a good walk every day so he is pretty active. e . As f or me I do wish I was that activel the man has arthritis in his back so he walks bent over looking down at the ground. I am a mylot addict so that is where i spend my time lol..But I do not know what he does the rest of the day. I do wish just to settle grumpy okd men like Steve they would make it a point to serve the orange juice first as they do every where else.
@GreenMoo (11842)
23 Apr 13
Oh Hatley, you do mae me laugh! Of course, it is ridiculous to get in a snit about orange juice, but perhaps the poor man has nothing else in his life and late orange juice is the only thing he has to feel some emotion over all day.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Apr 13
hi GreenMoo yes it could really be but sadly he loves to read and he has glaucoma so he is having problems with his eyes.,I just at times think he should calm down and not stress out as it cannot be good for him. I have to calm down as I have diabetes. So stress for me is just not done as it will shoot my blood sugar up high so in nmy old age I have mellowed, Too he still gets his juice before almost all of the rest of the residents as he is at the second table from the door of the dinning room so we do get ourjuice before almost all the rest of the residents. I think some of his problem is he retired from big business selling huge buildings in Chicago for millions of dollars so he had to have had a staff. I think that staff kowtowed to hie every whim so now he thinks this staff should do the same thing.Sadly we only have four people serving 114 people in our dining room. the kitchen staff is only for the kitchen.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
23 Apr 13
It seems like a small thing to someone that doesn't care about those things but to him it is important. Because it is such a small thing you would think they'd cater to him and make sure that he gets it first. At his age, I think he has earned the right to be served his OJ first thing. True enough that it is not worth getting all stressed out over but I see his side also. I like my coffee right off and I'm pretty much a grump if I don't have it first thing. He is in his 80's....I would cater to him...whatever he wants.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Apr 13
hi Sid its true but they only have four people serving in the dining room for 114 peole so it does take awhile, Myidea is it would not have hurt the owners to have orange juice served before the cereal like most people do.l I think since he worked in big business selling huge buildings for millions of dollars he would have had a staff who he ordered around g pretty good. I think he feels we should have that too but they are short staffed in the summer with only 4 people doing the serving of food and drink.The owners seem more interested in the bottom line than in us residents at times.
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
23 Apr 13
I would get mad too. You see, when people of my age were young, and of his age, oranges were more expensive, so you know what our parents gave us? Koolaid! Yes koolaid which is not as good and was often watered down. So he is thinking well, I may be able to live a few months later, and now these restaurant people think that i am not needed, so they want me to be even sicker. He is thinking of what he never got what he had when he was younger, healthy food.
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Apr 13
hi I k nos he still does nott seem to realikze that a retirement center is not like a restaurant. restaurant And that since there are only four f care givers for 114 people it does take awhile. I know he had a muoch different life til he was eighty .He wor ked in big business selling huge buildings for million of dollars sol He probably had a staff that bent to his every wish. But he cannot have that here as we only have four care givers workng to bring food and drinks to our tables for114 people.I do thiknk the orange juice should be brought first too b yt this is the wat that it was set up.As we are at the secnd table to the dinibg room door we get served way before others get their juice so he should be grateful for that.WE get pure orange juice here really and can have seconds so whats his beef?
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
23 Apr 13
I think that maybe he is grumpy as a defense meachanism as his sight is going bad. or maybe he is just a miserable old man. Nothing much you can do except still be pleasant and chat to him
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Apr 13
cynthiann You are probably right as he is really set like granite in his ways and he's never been married. He worked in big business selling huge buildings for millions til he was 80 so he probably had a staff whom he ordered around and they immediately obeyed him. Here our beverage lady is always a few minute late. but his idea of a staff just snapping to attention is unrealistic. Here staff for 114 people is only four people. Also since our table is second to the door into the dinning room he does gets his juice sooner than most of the other residents.He needs to learn to chill out as my son w ould say.
@timetravel (1428)
• United States
23 Apr 13
I've noticed that when one gets older - especially men - there's a "set in one's ways" type of attitude. Steve is used to doing things and having things a certain way. When something is out of order, it obviously sets his total day in disarray. One little thing out of whack can set the whole day off like that. Most likely that's why he was glowering. His day was ruined. You'd think those who work with the elderly would be aware of these things, eh? And try to keep even those basic things like juice first in order. Or explain to him why things were out of order that day (the orange juice came in late - there's a new employee who got it wrong, etc.). That might have set things back on balance for him, at least.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Apr 13
hi timetravel yes It would help a lot of the old men who were bachelors ane really set in their ways so if they would put out the juice first instead of the cereal it would help in so many ways.. Our sever is also always a good ten minutes late. I think since Steve worked in big business til he was 80 he had a staff that probably kowtowed to his every whim and he feels that should be the same way here. I tried to tell him that Aidia was just late this morning but it did not help anything. I have learned to be mellow as I have diabetes and to get upset and stressed will spike my blood sugar really high.He needs to read Don't Stress Over The Small stuff.O
@BarBaraPrz (20726)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
23 Apr 13
I guess he reeelly wanted his oj.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Apr 13
hi BarBaraPrz oh indeed yes and he sits there with the most happy look on his face like a little kid wow. I drank mine but it did not taste all that great. lol I am really glad hes not my real mate just my table mate otherwise I might be tempted to say few naughty words.
@artemeis (4070)
• China
26 Apr 13
I believe we are all creatures of habits and it comes no surprise for him who has been accustomed all these years to be worked up when his order of events are changed. I don't know if it is entirely his fault or unreasonable for his outward behavior but I would blame the service workers for not announcing the irregularities. I mean they are serving a group of habituated and old individuals. They should be aware and sensitive to inform of any disruptions no matter it is intentional or unintentional. So, I would not fault him totally even when he seems to be annoying but can we help it when we ourselves are affected at some point of time.
@AmbiePam (50090)
• United States
25 Apr 13
That kind of grumpiness seems to lend itself to the very young, and the very old whose mental faculties are declining. As we can all see, your mental faculties are all well and good. I can't ever see you pouting over juice.
1 person likes this
@ShepherdSpy (8562)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
24 Apr 13
Would things at breakfast time be so regimented with staff doing everything that they couldn't put out a Jug or a Juice dispenser for those who wanted things in a hurry or would prefer the independence of getting their own Juice?
@namiya (1599)
• Philippines
24 Apr 13
Maybe this attitude comes with age. My children at times comments that I am becoming sensitive on some things that I don't use to before and teases me that it is a sign of aging.
1 person likes this
@clrumfelt (5428)
• United States
5 May 13
People get habitual about something and when it changes it makes them feel really uncomfortable. If he was having a bad day anyway it's possible the orange juice incident just set him off because of that. One time I was really hungry and asked the waitress to bring my salad as an appetizer before my meal. She misunderstood and didn't bring it and I got really angry. I didn't say anything to her but I was already having a bad day and that just made it worse.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
1 May 13
Maybe he is really so thirsty and that makes his face turns sour too, like the taste of his orange juice. LoL! Just kidding Hatley Well, for me I don;t also mind if juice was served after my cereal. What will bother me is when they did not really served me any juice for a long time after I finished eating my food.