On Common Ground...

i sat for a second and analyzed my husband and my relationship before i responded. while we have some base similarities.. even those are on opposite sides. hes a passivist nonconfrontational sort of person.. and im an in yer face stand my ground type of girl. he is very social and likes to be liked.. im anti social and dont give a damn.. we`re both pagan.. but on such different ends of the slide, hes more stiff and theatrical in his practices, and im more of a laid back casual "yo, i need a hand here.." kind of person. we are both highly intelligent competative individuals.. and compete against each other in everything.. and i do mean EVERYTHING! hes capable of accepting things with the simple answer of "thats just the way it is" and i go obsessive and wanna know the why`s, what`s, and wheretofores of absolutely every little thing. why are we together? because opposites attract. how do we manage to stay together? (over 9 years now) because the core base of our relationship is undying raw passionate swallow you whole heated through the ages tear yer soul to shreds LOVE! and without that.. we wouldnt fight as hard to get past the differences to appease the intense need to be within the others company.

Well you know the old saying opposite attract,and my husband and are pretty different in a lot of ways,he likes working in the yard i prefer going shopping,but ont to much of that now,we both have bad health,so we are limited manage my sons heavy metal band and go to the shows and so on,he states at home i enjoy doing this even at my age i like that kind of music.But my son has been playing since the eighties.But i dont haveing every thing in common is a bad thing i this is what makes in for a good marriage.

Well my parents were exactly the same, they are gone now, bless their hearts. It is my husband and I that are oppisties. He loves to be with people, a people person, I am a homebody, I love my home and dont like to go out much. But he is used to me not going places with him. I sometimes feel bad but I do also have social anxiety and take medication for it. It helps a bit but not to the point where I would become really enjoying being with alot of people or anything, its just the way I am and have always been.

Hello twoey,

My husband and I have so much in common and that was the first thing that bring us more closer. I can name differences but like you, the common will always outweigh! In your parents case, I believe that it was the ultimate reason that their relationship didn't last longer. They can't be together all the time since they have different likes and that is hard, it means that if someone will go for the sake of just being with the partner, you will never see them happy together. A lot of similarities is very benefecial to any partner, in a way, you will see them together enjoying life, not that one is just staying in the house and the other one loves to go out, chances are he/she might meet someone who will complement his/her needs, that's the danger there!

I really believe that for a marriage to work is important to have a lot in common unless the couple is willing to compromise.

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hi twoey I have to admit I dont have too much in common with my husband.
He is Protestant, I am Catholic
He likes the computer I love books
He is practical I am not
He hates writing letters, I love it
He shuts like a clam when we have arguments, I want to talk

but the marriage still works after 2,5 years. Amazing.....

Well twoey - you know the old saying, opposites attract well there is some truth in that! lol Sometimes we are attracted to and fall for someone who is the opposite to us in many ways but those differences help balance things out whereas other people have successful relationships with people who are their twin in their likes and dislikes and sometimes it works out beautifully and other times they end up bored with each other as their are no differences and no spark! I think it is more about chemistry and how much you want a relationship to work than whether you are alike or different but that is just my opinion! xxx

My husband and I Twoey actually were to begin with from opposite ends of the spectrum. That is what attracted us to each other more than anything else. Unlike some couples that are so different from each other, we learned to grow and appreciate each others differences to the point we compliment each other. he taught me about his world, and I brought him into mine. He was so out going and social where I was quiet and reserved. We opened up different avenues for each other, and for us it has worked, we have been together now 28 years.

The old adage is that opposites attract, and to a point they do.. one fills the void in the other.. but I think you have to have some basic commonalities to bind the two people into one.