Handling Teens...  

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After raising five children , two girls & three boys, i have found that having a heart to heart talk with them can work wonders....I did not down them but i told them of the dangers that could happen if they continued going in the wrong direction.....It is not an easy job raising children & teen age years are the worst, but all we can do is teach them the right way & pray they listen...Of all of my five children , one was a rebellious one & he has spent a lot of time in jail...He has told me he wished he had listened to my advice, and he also said that he did the wrong things and he brought it all on himself....Even though he is constantly doing the wrong things & making wrong choices ..he KNOWS right from wrong, and i did my best to teach him, so i know i did the right thing..The other four children are happy, hold good jobs ,and are great people now, so i hope that what i taught them stuck somehow....I have noticed that my children have followed with their children the way i did them growing up..They have heart to heart tallks with them & let them know they are loved and only want the best for them, and so far it has worked..It never helps to scream & holler, and make a fuss, it only makes things worse...If you have to take things away from them, sit them down & explain "WHY" you are doing it, and let them know that when their actions change then things will be better for them......

I say lower the boom. If you make your point the first time, they will relize the result of their behavior if they are caught. Not to mention the threat the older married man would be getting in the process. If my daughter is mad at me..so be it..my job is to keep her from screwing up. We have time to be friends later.

Hi twoey, In some ways I'm happy that I don't have teenagers today, but I still believe that what worked 25 years ago would work today. The problem you present here is a difficult one because you've given us a 15 year old daughter that has been hiding the truth from her parents. Although I know that all children are different I feel that wouldn't be the situation if she had been raised differently. We have to remember that the teenage years are very difficult ones and that has always been the case whether we are willing to admit or not. Teens today of course, face many new and different challenges that their parents didn't have to cope with. I know I would start by not placing blame on the child, she already has enough to deal with. Getting through to her that you really love her and want only what's best for her may not be easy but you must somehow gain her trust. We never do the right thing when we get angry and punishment isn't the way to go as long as she feels that you're acting like a big bully, it will only add fuel to the fire. At the same time we cannot ignore the situation because that would only prove that we had given up on her. Different things work for different people when you try to reach out to someone, and the challenge here is to find what works, but you must get through and she has to know that your concern is genuine, otherwise it doesn't work. Blessings.

I would start with confiscating it all. I have a daughter that did those things, and we ended up in a big mess with her. She would have to earn my trust back and I would try to find things to explain to her why she should not trust everyone she is talking to online. My son cannot understand why the only time he can be on the internet is when we are in the same room. I would rather be safe and the bad guy, then to be sorry.

It is very difficult to be a parent of a teen these days, but it is impossible to do if your first intention is to be their buddy. You were ordained by God to the taks, take steps to guide & protect.

My daughter doesn't really have any friends, boy or girl, so right now I'm not too worried. She knows she will be given only one chance and that's it. She sneaks out for any reason and ends up in trouble or hanging out with the boys, no coming back. I don't foresee any major problems with her pretaining to boys other than just hanging out as friends. She has one boy friend that she gets along great with. IF they were to ever date, I would be fine with it because I know him and his parents and that he's being brought up with the same values we are raising our own daughter with.

I think teenagers are too ostrasized and thrown under the same roof as others who are not responsible or have little to no respect for society.

I myself being a teenager constantly get weary looks from parents of younger children, although I have never touched drugs, maintain a 90+ average through highschool, etc. I do not think this is fair, to me, or others who experience this.

Handling us, is all personal. It depends how you have raised your children, and your relationship with them. No one can tell you HOW to parent. You have to show your child that you are independant and confident in your decisions. That is the best way to earn your child's respect.

Hi twoey68,



For one, I would be the most strictest mother in the world, I would take here phone awafrom her, escort her to school and back, if I can, I'd stay around in her school even to her class room and if she wants to see her friends I may let her see one or two friend at home and whoever comes to see her, I would take their phone of her friend, I would do that for a while till she learned her lessons. Kids today gets too much freedom in the first place.


Tamara