Would you bail a friend out of jail?
By firecracker
@sacmom (14192)
United States
June 26, 2010 8:20am CST
What if this friend were in jail for driving drunk. Would you still be willing to bail them out then?
The reason I'm asking is because I spoke to my dad about it on the phone the other day. During our conversation I brought up a married couple that he knew (they were old friends of the family back when my parents were married). I found out that my father hadn't heard from them in years. That is, until one day when the couple's (now grown) son called him up and left a message asking my dad for money to help bail his dad out of jail. Apparently this guy's dad became an alcoholic at some point in life. He (the guy's dad) has driven drunk on numerous occasions and has even gotten into an accident. Not sure of the severity of it, but still, he got into an accident because he was drunk.
Well, my dad wants nothing to do with it. So he never called their son back. I told my dad I don't blame him. I told him I'd probably do the same. Even if I could afford to, I just couldn't do it. Because chances are he'd just do it again. And next time he may not be so lucky...
So, what about you? Would you bail someone like this out of jail? Why or why not?
9 people like this
35 responses
@much2say (53958)
• Los Angeles, California
27 Jun 10
Hey sacmom!
Nope, I wouldn't bail this person out! Like your dad, I would want nothing to do with it either! I totally agree that he just might do it again. By bailing this person out, I might potentially be helping to get some innocent person killed (in my mind anyway) by letting this drunk person be on the loose. No way, that person can stay in jail. Quite honestly, I can't even bail anyone out because I can't afford it!!
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
6 Jul 10
Neither can I much2say. But even if I could I still wouldn't do it as I feel exactly the same way about it as you do.
Happy mylotting!
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
6 Jul 10
Neither can I much2say. But even if I could I still wouldn't do it as I feel exactly the same way about it as you do.
Happy mylotting!
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
26 Jun 10
I agree with your dad. I'd let the family members deal with the problem. Since this man has a history, I'd prefer to stay out of it.
If it was a close friend and a first time offense I would help. However, I also know I would run the risk of being asked again if the friend didn't get his/her situation straightened out. Cabs are available so there really isn't excuse to drive drunk. Putting too many other lives at risk. I'm far from a prude and will have a drink once in awhile but making it a steady diet and then trying to drive is not something I chose to do. I like my clean record and good reputation!
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
28 Jun 10
I like mine too. I've kept it clean this long. I'd hate to screw it up now!
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
5 Jul 10
No, I would not. People have to be responsible for their actions and bailing someone out means they are not being made accountable. I don't know but isn't a person put on bail between the arrest and the court appearance and then it depends on the possible conviction how much time they get? Bailing them out doesn't mean they get off does it?
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
7 Jul 10
That sounds about right. And no, it sure doesn't. They still have to make their court appearance to find out their fate.
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
24 Oct 10
It would depend on what they did.
I don't think if it was serious I would get involved, as I prefer to keep away from trouble. I know this might sound harsh but I have my family to consider and bringing unwanted attention may disarm me. I would if it manor, as that would be the best thing to do but if a friend had beaten someone up or something equally as serious I would leave it for a member of their family to do.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
22 Nov 10
That doesn't sound harsh at all. If anything, it sounds like a wise thing to do.
Happy mylotting!
@bournecaindelta (2477)
• India
26 Jun 10
It would surely depend on situations and in what conditions he was thrown in the jail. If it was for something like you mentioned here then I would surely give him a piece of my head than bail him out of the jail.. But if it was for some thing that he is not responsible for, I would surely get him out and look out for him..
bourne
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
27 Jun 10
It would definitely depend on the circumstances for me too. But when it comes to something like drunk driving, I just couldn't bring myself to help bail them out.
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
7 Jul 10
I would feel bad about not doing it, but I definitely would not bail my friend out of jail in this instance. I am a big proponent against drunk driving and cannot tolerate it at all. Most people that go to jail for this are already repeat offenders and until they get some hard lessons regarding this, they will not stop drinking.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
7 Jul 10
I can't either. And although I might feel bad about not bailing them out, I'd feel 1000 times worse if I helped put them back on the road if they wound up killing someone due to driving drunk...
@scarlet_woman (23465)
• United States
28 Jun 10
if they agreed to go directly into rehab,i would consider it,if i had the free money
and they didn't kill anything.a lot of it would depend on how close the person was friendwise.
i'd likely suggest the kid call a bail bondsman and see if they could help him.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
7 Jul 10
I didn't even think of that. Not that it matters much as I don't think my dad would make such a suggestion anyway.
Happy mylotting!
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
26 Jun 10
I don't think I would bail them out either, especially if they were in there for something like that. I'd leave them in there and let them think about what they did for awhile. He's lucky it could of been worse, the accident he had could of caused somebody's life. I know of too many people that have gotten killed by drunk drivers, I don't feel sorry for them.
1 person likes this
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
27 Jun 10
all my friends knows better to call me up and ask me. one thing i am against is driving drunk, since my best friend was killed by one, and so was my mom and aunt.
i had one friend who locked up for that and other friends called me to get him and lucky it wasnt no bail. i told them nope his butt can sit in there until morning.
1 person likes this
@TheCatLady (4691)
• Israel
27 Jun 10
It really depends on the person and what they are accused of. I probably would bail someone out once. If they screw up again, I'd let them sit there until their trial date.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
6 Jul 10
What if it was for drunk driving? Would you bail them out then?
@craftyhomebody (443)
• United States
27 Jun 10
what kind of friends is that if i havent heard from them
in along time and now he needs to be bailed out no i would
have to tell them no because i not just here for someone to use
me for the money to get out of jail it sounds like this guy
has a problem and maybe if he sit in jail he can think about
his problem and he will take care of it before he kill's
someone
1 person likes this
@bccromer (2)
• United States
26 Jun 10
If it was a true friend I would, however I would make sure to talk to them about how stupid it was for them to drive drunk. And the way I would decide if it was a good friend is by asking myself if they would bail me out. I think that is the real question to ask yourself rather than would you bail them out.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
3 Jul 10
That's an interesting point you've made. I wouldn't ask such a favor myself. But then again I wouldn't put myself in such a predicament in the first place. 
@patgalca (18181)
• Orangeville, Ontario
26 Jun 10
I have thought about this a lot because my husband tends to drive after having a few drinks at the golf course and it makes me crazy. I wonder what would happen if he got caught or in an accident, would I bail my own husband out of jail? I have warned him on many occasions that what he is doing is wrong (not to mention the bad example he is setting for our teenage children). I keep telling myself I would NOT bail him out but think he would be p*ssed as he** at me if I didn't. Well, I don't have any money. I have access to our line of credit but it's pretty full.
Forgetting the money issue, I still don't know whether I would help get my husband out of jail. I am sure there would be a long phone discussion beforehand and I would give him an ultimatum, which he would agree to but then disregard once he became free. Some people really need a heavy knock on the head to get it, some never get it.
In your father's case, he should have nothing to do with someone he hasn't seen in years. He has no obligation to him and has no friendship to lose over not helping him.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
29 Jun 10
I'm sure my husband would be beyond pissed if I didn't bail him out. Though he knows better than to do that to begin with as I'd be on kill mode if he ever did something stupid like that.
As for my father, I can't see him bailing out anyone for a DUI, no matter how close they are. Not only because he's been known as a tightwad LOL, but because he's a retired cop.
Happy mylotting!
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
26 Jun 10
I would not have helped him out either. People who drive drunk need to sit in jail and think about how dumb they were getting behind the wheel at all. They might not have caused an accident this time, but next time ( and yes there probably will be a next time) he could cause and accident and kill someone.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
26 Jun 10
I would bail a friend out of jail for anything except drunk driving or a violent offense. Those two circumstances are a choice. They made the choice to endanger lives and should suffer all the consequences of that choice.
I have a friend who was once jailed for DUI years and years ago. She was so ashamed of herself that she didn't call anyone for help and stayed in jail until her arraignment the next morning when she was released on her own recognizance. She's never again put herself in that position but I realize she's probably the exception to the rule.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
27 Jun 10
It's good that your friend learned her lesson. It's a shame others can't do the same...
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Jun 10
hi sacmom no indeed if myso called friend was j ailed for drunk driving he could just stay there until his term was up. Why should I have tobail him out when he just going to get drunk again and this time maybe kill someosn with his drunken driving. The world is a safer place when drunks are incarcerated unstead of bein bailed out.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
26 Jun 10
You shouldn't. You're not doing them any favors if you do. Like you said they might just do it again. And if they were to get in a wreck and kill someone after you helped set them free, it could haunt you for the rest of your life. I know it would for me. 
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
26 Jun 10
I'd like to say no. I'm against drunk driving, and think anyone who gets behind the wheel after a drink is a total idiot who's putting everyone else's life in danger.. oh don't get me started.
However, at the same time I know how I am. I don't want to make a good friend mad at me, so I might give in out of guilt. That is of course if I had money to bail someone out, lol. I know forsure nobody would call me because they all know I'm flat broke.. I'd be the one calling them for money.. so I guess it's not something I ever have to worry about, thankfully.
1 person likes this
@juggerogre (1653)
• Philippines
26 Jun 10
If he's really a good friend of mine then yeah I will bail him out. But only once. If he every committed another crime again then no thanks. He shouldn't do anything bad just because he knows that someone will just bail him out.
1 person likes this
