Tough Decisions, Need Help..
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16305)
Torrington, Connecticut
November 12, 2025 8:06am CST
So I'm currently caught in the middle of my growth in exchange for my comfort and its slowly eating away at my peace.
I'm currently happily employed at United Rentals making over 100k a year here in Connecticut and I was offered a promotion about a week ago but the jobs in North Carolina. My sister recently moved there and they are loving it but when I visit her I find it to be too slow paced for me.
I'm currently a Operations Manager and I truly love my job and the people I work with but I'm ready for the next step and more income just don't know if I'm quiet ready to uproot my whole family and move 700 miles south. At least il be in the same town as my sister but she would be the only family I would have near me. Most my family lives in New York, New Jersey and Long Island and my mom who I'm really close to lives 8 mins from me in CT.
I have about two weeks to accept or decline the offer, the 145k base salary sounds nice but still a lot to think about.
Decision, Decisions....
15 people like this
16 responses
@snowy22315 (198639)
• United States
12 Nov
How do your wife and kids feel about the possibility? Your girls are young and probably would not want to leave their friends and get re established in a new school. Could you tell your current employer that you have been offered a much higher salary elsewhere, and see if they will pony up a bit more cash for you? Some things are worth more than money, and if you are happy where you are, I would stick personally.
3 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16305)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
I agree I'm comfortable where I'm at, my wife's on board and yes my boss knows since its within the company, they would cover the expense of relocating us etc. My wife is on board and the kids just started high school so they wouldn't be missing out on friends. Still a lot to think about but I appreciate the feedback
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (198639)
• United States
12 Nov
@BACONSTRIPSXXX Yeah, but have you really talked to them in depth?. You don't want them resenting you.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (106156)
• United States
12 Nov
That is tough. A lot of people would probably tell you to take the extra money, but I think there is something to be said for not trying to get happier than happy. Do you think there will be another chance of a promotion a little later? It’s a tough decision, but I know you’ll make the right one.
3 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16305)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Yeah, the money part is great, id love to receive almost double my pay in exchange for my sanity for a few months. Im sure more opportunities will come, I still get my yearly 3.5 merit raises and bonus.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (486944)
• Italy
12 Nov
It's not at easy decision. I know that more money is always welcome, but living in a place you do not like is unpleasant. This is something you have to discuss with your wife and your children. Would they be happy to move there? Being close to the family is also important.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (486944)
• Italy
18h
@BACONSTRIPSXXX 
Kids cannot really take decisions, I have to discuss with your wife, often women have a better "vision" of the future as they imagine it will be.
Kids cannot really take decisions, I have to discuss with your wife, often women have a better "vision" of the future as they imagine it will be.@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16305)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Yeah my wife is all for it, the kids don't have much of say unless they can add an extra 40k a year to my pay lol Id be next to my sister but far from everyone else
2 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (53740)
• United States
12 Nov
Just pray on it. You will make the right choice. I will say that moving is a pain in the butt and expensive.
3 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16305)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Yeah, my sister spent over 5k renting uhauls to move all their stuff
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (161454)
• United States
12 Nov
We honestly can't help you with that decision. There are too many variables involved...
For example, you have two school aged children. Have you checked out the schools there? You'd need to know what area you'd be moving into to check the local schools. And then there are the doctors. You'll need to consider which doctors fill the bill for you and your family, etc. There is also your wife to consider. She's working, too. Will she be able to find a new job she's happy with there? Or will you become a single income family if you move?
It would be difficult to pass the job up because of the additional income but there are other considerations, too.
Good luck with your decision. I hope everything works out for you and your family, whatever decision you ultimately make.
2 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16305)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Yeah its a lot of variables, I don't want to move down south eventually but when I'm older.
Thanks for the positive feedback
2 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16305)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Considering the offer but still have to see what the entire family is comfortable with
@GardenGerty (166388)
• United States
23h
It could turn into a family adventure, OR your family could be miserable.I think you will be having some deep discussions in the next two weeks.
1 person likes this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16305)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Yeah that's were I'm currently at right now, I have two weeks to decide and if not I'm sure more opportunities will arise in the future
1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (86914)
• United States
12 Nov
That really is a tough decision to uproot your family and move so far away. I can't offer any advice but hope that whatever you decide makes you happy
2 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16305)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Yes, I live in west haven ct, she is in east haven ct, were about 10 minutes away from each opther.
@Fleura (33069)
• United Kingdom
12 Nov
First, congratulations on the offer! But that's a tough one. Money isn't everything, especially if you already have enough. It sounds like you would have a lot to lose with the move, I'd just be a bit worried that if you turn it down the company might be less inclined to offer you something else. But hopefully you know the people in charge and whether they would be understanding if you said you would prefer to wait until something comes up closer to home.
Try to imagine that you already decided, one way or the other, and then see if you feel disappointed or annoyed with yourself.
1 person likes this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16305)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Yeah its a tough one, more money is nice but it will come with added stress and more responsibilities
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (11089)
• United States
18h
If you love your job, the people around you and the family you have there, that is your answer. Not extra money. You said when you visited, it was too slow paced for you. Taking your family far from their own friends can cause some family discord as well.
@porwest (111016)
• United States
11h
As I always say, go where the money is. Here's an idea. Take the job and make the move, but when you get there, pretend like you never got the raise. Keep your lifestyle exactly the same as you did when you were making less and invest the difference.
Let's say the raise is $20k a year. Devise a 10-year plan. Perhaps all you do is invest the money into the S&P500. With dividends and compounding, in 10 years you will have accumulated $350,000-$370,000.
If the number is $40,000, you'd have $728,000 in 10 years.
Later on, you will have a stronger financial position and be more able to make decisions you want to make over other reasons.
@MarieCoyle (50721)
•
12 Nov
I can see why you are considering it, and it does seem like you have family support in this. Can you and your wife, maybe your children as well, take a short trip there to get the feel of the place? I think North Carolina is a lovely place. I wish you the best in your decision.
2 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16305)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Thanks Marie, we have been down there three times since my sister moved down there last year
@JudyEv (365160)
• Rockingham, Australia
23h
As you say, this is tough but maybe the price seems a little too high at this point in time taking into account all you'd be giving up.
