Tough Decisions, Need Help..
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16580)
Torrington, Connecticut
November 12, 2025 8:06am CST
So I'm currently caught in the middle of my growth in exchange for my comfort and its slowly eating away at my peace.
I'm currently happily employed at United Rentals making over 100k a year here in Connecticut and I was offered a promotion about a week ago but the jobs in North Carolina. My sister recently moved there and they are loving it but when I visit her I find it to be too slow paced for me.
I'm currently a Operations Manager and I truly love my job and the people I work with but I'm ready for the next step and more income just don't know if I'm quiet ready to uproot my whole family and move 700 miles south. At least il be in the same town as my sister but she would be the only family I would have near me. Most my family lives in New York, New Jersey and Long Island and my mom who I'm really close to lives 8 mins from me in CT.
I have about two weeks to accept or decline the offer, the 145k base salary sounds nice but still a lot to think about.
Decision, Decisions....
18 people like this
20 responses
@LadyDuck (489778)
• Italy
12 Nov
It's not at easy decision. I know that more money is always welcome, but living in a place you do not like is unpleasant. This is something you have to discuss with your wife and your children. Would they be happy to move there? Being close to the family is also important.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (489778)
• Italy
13 Nov
@BACONSTRIPSXXX 
Kids cannot really take decisions, I have to discuss with your wife, often women have a better "vision" of the future as they imagine it will be.
Kids cannot really take decisions, I have to discuss with your wife, often women have a better "vision" of the future as they imagine it will be.2 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16580)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Yeah my wife is all for it, the kids don't have much of say unless they can add an extra 40k a year to my pay lol Id be next to my sister but far from everyone else
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (200769)
• United States
12 Nov
How do your wife and kids feel about the possibility? Your girls are young and probably would not want to leave their friends and get re established in a new school. Could you tell your current employer that you have been offered a much higher salary elsewhere, and see if they will pony up a bit more cash for you? Some things are worth more than money, and if you are happy where you are, I would stick personally.
3 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16580)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
I agree I'm comfortable where I'm at, my wife's on board and yes my boss knows since its within the company, they would cover the expense of relocating us etc. My wife is on board and the kids just started high school so they wouldn't be missing out on friends. Still a lot to think about but I appreciate the feedback
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (200769)
• United States
12 Nov
@BACONSTRIPSXXX Yeah, but have you really talked to them in depth?. You don't want them resenting you.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (109103)
• United States
12 Nov
That is tough. A lot of people would probably tell you to take the extra money, but I think there is something to be said for not trying to get happier than happy. Do you think there will be another chance of a promotion a little later? It’s a tough decision, but I know you’ll make the right one.
3 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16580)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Yeah, the money part is great, id love to receive almost double my pay in exchange for my sanity for a few months. Im sure more opportunities will come, I still get my yearly 3.5 merit raises and bonus.
2 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (54000)
• United States
12 Nov
Just pray on it. You will make the right choice. I will say that moving is a pain in the butt and expensive.
3 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16580)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Yeah, my sister spent over 5k renting uhauls to move all their stuff
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (164501)
• United States
12 Nov
We honestly can't help you with that decision. There are too many variables involved...
For example, you have two school aged children. Have you checked out the schools there? You'd need to know what area you'd be moving into to check the local schools. And then there are the doctors. You'll need to consider which doctors fill the bill for you and your family, etc. There is also your wife to consider. She's working, too. Will she be able to find a new job she's happy with there? Or will you become a single income family if you move?
It would be difficult to pass the job up because of the additional income but there are other considerations, too.
Good luck with your decision. I hope everything works out for you and your family, whatever decision you ultimately make.
2 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16580)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Yeah its a lot of variables, I don't want to move down south eventually but when I'm older.
Thanks for the positive feedback
2 people like this
@MarieCoyle (52840)
•
12 Nov
I can see why you are considering it, and it does seem like you have family support in this. Can you and your wife, maybe your children as well, take a short trip there to get the feel of the place? I think North Carolina is a lovely place. I wish you the best in your decision.
2 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16580)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Thanks Marie, we have been down there three times since my sister moved down there last year
1 person likes this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16580)
• Torrington, Connecticut
14 Nov
@MarieCoyle Yeah i spoke to my children yesterday and they wouldn't mind the move or warmer weather lol
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (52840)
•
14 Nov
@BACONSTRIPSXXX
It might turn out that your family would love to live there.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (167003)
• United States
13 Nov
It could turn into a family adventure, OR your family could be miserable.I think you will be having some deep discussions in the next two weeks.
2 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16580)
• Torrington, Connecticut
14 Nov
Yeah we visit my sister a couple times a year
@RasmaSandra (92334)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
12 Nov
Best of luck to you in your decision.
1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (87599)
• United States
12 Nov
That really is a tough decision to uproot your family and move so far away. I can't offer any advice but hope that whatever you decide makes you happy
2 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16580)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Yes, I live in west haven ct, she is in east haven ct, were about 10 minutes away from each opther.
@porwest (111806)
• United States
14 Nov
Sounds like he'd be giving up $400,000 in 10 years based on some insight he offered in another comment here. That's a pretty steep consideration, I think. At least it would be for me. ESPECIALLY when I do the math and it tells me if I pretend like I never got the raise and invest it all?
I will have $728,000. Which, with that kind of money lying around, at that point...I could do whatever the hell I wanted.
The sacrifices would be moot, to my mind, compared to the opportunity IF I were taking it as one to get ahead as opposed to increasing my lifestyle in the short term...
Which, to me, would be a net negative.
In other words, if it were me I'd make the move, take the money, pretend like the new money never happened, invest it, and give myself a 10 year horizon and decide then what I wanted to do...
With 3 quarters of a million dollars to help me make that decision. lol
2 people like this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16580)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Considering the offer but still have to see what the entire family is comfortable with
@dgobucks226 (37156)
•
16 Nov
Well, you're taking the right step by weighing the pros and cons of each. Will the extra income, which is substantial outweigh the negatives you mentioned.
1 person likes this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16580)
• Torrington, Connecticut
17 Nov
It really does, going to pass on the offer for now, im sure other offers will come along
1 person likes this
@porwest (111806)
• United States
13 Nov
As I always say, go where the money is. Here's an idea. Take the job and make the move, but when you get there, pretend like you never got the raise. Keep your lifestyle exactly the same as you did when you were making less and invest the difference.
Let's say the raise is $20k a year. Devise a 10-year plan. Perhaps all you do is invest the money into the S&P500. With dividends and compounding, in 10 years you will have accumulated $350,000-$370,000.
If the number is $40,000, you'd have $728,000 in 10 years.
Later on, you will have a stronger financial position and be more able to make decisions you want to make over other reasons.
1 person likes this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16580)
• Torrington, Connecticut
14 Nov
That's great advice, I usually increase my 401k every year when I get a raise, currently at 10%, its nice to see my 401k go up a couple of thousands the last year
1 person likes this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16580)
• Torrington, Connecticut
14 Nov
@porwest That's the way to do it
1 person likes this
@porwest (111806)
• United States
14 Nov
@BACONSTRIPSXXX That is definitely a good idea as well and highly recommended. The only caveat is that it's money you can't touch until you are 59 1/2, and so if you decide to retire at 50, say, like I did, you need access to other money for 9 1/2 years that is sufficient to carry you into that retirement.
I always treated 401k's as "supplementary retirement income." Not my sole source. And I have always taken social security entirely out of the figures. So, basically, my desired retirement income is based on my investments and the returns and dividends from those 1st. I will get a payraise automatically when I start withdrawing from my 401k's at 60, and will get another pay raise when I start drawing social security at 62.
All of this is accomplished (the pay raises) without any real impact on my basis for income I used when I retired at 50, and allows me to gradually increase my income without touching my principal.
1 person likes this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16580)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Yeah that's were I'm currently at right now, I have two weeks to decide and if not I'm sure more opportunities will arise in the future
1 person likes this
@xstitcher (37266)
• Petaluma, California
14 Nov
Personally, I would love slow paced, but that's me.
1 person likes this
@MarshaMusselman (38864)
• Midland, Michigan
28 Dec
So what did you decide? I loved North Carolina when I lived there for two years, but I lived in Greenville.
Since most of your family aren't living in CT, it would be helpful if someone is close to your mom as she gets older but then again with the increase in pay you might be able to afford going back and forth if and when needed. Another option is to bring her to NC.
I lived in CT too for one year and enjoyed it there also, although I preferred the shorter winters of NC. CT was similar in weather to Michigan.
Since you mentioned God in your bio I would have suggested that your pray about what to do.
So, what did you decide?
@Fleura (33184)
• United Kingdom
12 Nov
First, congratulations on the offer! But that's a tough one. Money isn't everything, especially if you already have enough. It sounds like you would have a lot to lose with the move, I'd just be a bit worried that if you turn it down the company might be less inclined to offer you something else. But hopefully you know the people in charge and whether they would be understanding if you said you would prefer to wait until something comes up closer to home.
Try to imagine that you already decided, one way or the other, and then see if you feel disappointed or annoyed with yourself.
1 person likes this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (16580)
• Torrington, Connecticut
12 Nov
Yeah its a tough one, more money is nice but it will come with added stress and more responsibilities
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (11770)
• United States
13 Nov
If you love your job, the people around you and the family you have there, that is your answer. Not extra money. You said when you visited, it was too slow paced for you. Taking your family far from their own friends can cause some family discord as well.
1 person likes this
@ogbenishyna44 (993)
•
15 Nov
This is quite a complex situation. It would have been easier if you can relocate your mum with you but hey, the income is good.
1 person likes this
